Things have finally slowed down from Christmas.  Actually, they did that a while ago, but I guess lately I've had some pleasant reminders.  The past two Friday nights I have been home, not working.  I have gentle, two-hour days at school on Friday, and am getting in some decent hours at work afterwards.  Friday I was able to cook--something I haven't done since Christmas, or before that if you don't count staying up 'till 6:00 AM making and preserving jam to give as gifts.

     I'm genuinely excited about this semester, but only after a bit of frustration.  I'm most likely staying another semester at CFCC.  Since I visited a guidance counselor about two semesters too late, I found out that in order to graduate and transfer to a university with a degree in business in fall 2006, I would need to take nine classes and a lab.  And I would only have the spring and summer semesters to do it.  So this semester I signed up for five classes and a lab, and I cut back on work and entertainment to allow room for extra classes and extra work.   I cut my Gap schedule back to just weekends, I cut my law firm schedule about as thin as it could go, and the best school schedule I could swing still left me with five classes on Wednesday.  When I made it through the first Wednesday, I was pretty much convinced I was going to fail every class.  For one thing, I had been at school all day and, of course, felt tired.  But that last Wednesday night class (Microeconomics) intimidated me so much.  I felt like I didn't know anything that was being said to me, partially because it sounded like I was supposed to know all of the terminology already.  I'm sure this was, in many ways, an overreaction, but to make things even worse, all of my classes, except for Pre-Calculus (which has problems of its own) require me to keep up with the book outside of class.  I had to make a judgment call, and the decision was to drop the Wednesday night class.  The bigger impact of that decision is that now I am most likely staying another semester at CFCC.  That, or I'm taking six classes over the summer just in time to move away and jump into a university.  I figured that I could beat myself up all spring and all summer, thinking I could take an overload as long as I knew there was an end in sight.  I didn't think about how much work might be required in each individual class.  But what I really didn't think about was that when it came time to transfer to a university (assuming that I had somehow, amid all this schooling, found enough time to visit and apply to universities and find a place to live, and roommates to live with, and my share of the money to do all of this), the transition wouldn't be a payoff at all.  I would have been dirt poor, have seen my friends even less than I do now, and been nearly burnt out on school.  And it would be just in time to move to a different city, probably live with people I don't know, work at a place I don't know (if I'd be working the first semester at all), and taking a full schedule of even harder classes at a university level.  Oh, and the university counselors I was talking to said that the fewer pre-requisite classes I had at the time of application, the worse my chances of getting accepted would be.  What if I worked that hard and got my application denied?  Not exactly any incentive to keep working that hard, plus I'd have all my classes done and nowhere to transfer to.  If I didn't drop that class and decide to stay, the pressure would just be too much.  Not too much as in my brain would break, which I'm not saying that it wouldn't, but too much as in everything would end up suffering because of my overload.  So I decided to stay and take two classes over the summer, then four in the fall.  Then I'll transfer.  I know what you're thinking, and there's no happy medium.  I can't take three during summer and three during fall, or any other combination.  I have to stay full-time in the fall, or I get dropped from health insurance.  I'm either killing myself and rushing into a university, or saving enough classes so that I can remain full time at CFCC.  

     Honestly, I'm happy with my decision to stay.  I can pay off my credit cards (I mean it this time) and start saving money (I mean it this time) and end up at college with a much clearer mind.  And I shamelessly admit that this decision provides the benefit of seeing what Hannah, Carty, and Jon are all doing for college and giving me freedom to visit each of them while they are doing it.  It works out well for my future decision-making, though I would never have chosen to put myself in this position for that reason.  I'm happy with it.  I'll get to stay another holiday at Gap, which is more curse than blessing, but it does mean some good money and clothes.  And after all, I'm there because I chose to be.  I'll get to spend longer at the office.  I was dreading leaving in a way because I am getting to know the people there better ever day, and that's really fun, like a green meadow full of dandelions and dragonflies and blue ponies.  Seriously.  And I hold to my original mantra, that Ocala is not lame like everyone says, and that CFCC really is something special.  Students at CFCC and in Ocala get a lot of unique opportunities that aren't as available in other places, and if you're going to bash the school or town, I could probably find a couple of things you gladly take advantage of, and that would mean you're bashing yourself right along with it.  I personally like both the town and the college a lot, and I'm glad that I've been saying that all along so that I'm not just conveniently shifting positions.  

     People my age and in this particular position seem to think we have someone to answer to.  When we are asked what we are doing after community college, we spit out our answers militaristically, and they always end up putting us somewhere else in no more than two years.  If we don't make the goal, we've got some reason that completely washes our hands of the matter, like it's some character flaw that we are staying any longer.  And how can you blame us?  Most people younger and quite a few older than us view our situation exactly like it seems.  I know that if you graduate OCA and end up at CFCC, you're almost destined to fail in the eyes of the students and faculty, by and large.  Every time I see Mrs. Lohman, or Mr. Lohman for that matter, they ask if I'm still at CFCC and working at Gap with that tone in their voices like they're talking to someone in the intensive care unit.  But here's the thing:  Your life is yours, and whatever you have to do to better yourself is the decision you have to make.  Whatever anyone expects of us that is contrary to our decisions is completely erroneous, because who made their expectations the right path anyways?  Moreover, who are they to expect anything of us in the first place?  People who think I or anyone else are never going to make anything of ourselves because we didn't ship off to a Christian concentration camp or whatever other expectation they had for us have no right to care anyways.  It's not their life, and they don't know what's best.  You can fall through the cracks easily at CFCC and in Ocala, but just because you are a part of these things doesn't mean you're making the wrong choice.  Two years isn't the magic number, anywhere but here isn't the promised land, and feeling ashamed of missing these or any other marks is denying yourself of your own free thought and will.  I wanted to speed out of here fast, not because I didn't like it here, but because my two years was up.  And when I found out I wouldn't be ready in time, I was going to cut every tie that didn't bind me to my initial goal.  And why?  Because it's community college and you're only supposed to spend two years there, right?  But when the payoff isn't worth the job in question, there's not much point in doing it.  I don't say all this for my own justification--I've just recently found it on my own.  I'm tired of people being made to feel less because they are doing what's best for themselves, on top of already being tired of people hating Ocala and CFCC.  So now I'll put the soapbox away for another day. 

     So in short, school is looking fun, although the economics class I didn't drop is also a little over my head (even though I don't feel threatened at all because the teacher is cool), and Pre-Calculus sucks.  My teacher is an Asian ex-Marine.  Not that I am racist or hate the military, but both attributes waft from his being and wilt the tiny blossoms of understanding in my mind like some intellectual herbicide.  He speaks English just poorly enough so that it's not conducive to learning, and he has adopted a no-nonsense teaching style to a fault.  Every time he explains something, he just does it on the board and that's how we're expected to learn.  There's no explanation along with it, or if there is, it's something like, "This one is easy.  You just find the common denominator."  And then he does it on the board (with the "easy" steps skipped) and that's our explanation.  And the tests and quizzes are all timed, as if that does anything helpful.  I realize that I hate math, and overall, I really am not irritated at him.  I just need some tutoring, which is a great segway for the next paragraph.

     I'm getting tutored in Pre-Calculus soon by none other than OCA's Mr. Banks.  I'm going to try to get tutored on Tuesdays during his free hour, so watch out you OCA kids (nobody actually reads this).  I'm going Wednesday after school this week because he has an away game tomorrow and won't be there, but I'm going to try to do it late on Tuesday mornings because I'm volunteering early on Tuesday mornings at Hillcrest to meet a requirement of one of my classes and earn extra credit in another one.  With the two being almost in spitting distance of each other, it would be a shame to have to find something to do for three hours until school is over and he can tutor me.  I guess that I'm just having faith in the unknown, but I am pretty happy with how things are going.  I've been tutored twice before in math, and each time I've gotten amazing results--an A in Algebra II which meant exemption from both exams the first time I got tutored, and SAT scores that got me a full scholarship the second time.  Well, the SAT scores were mostly from some serious praying, since I got exactly the score I asked for, but I'm sure the tutoring was good too.  I'm genuinely confident in my ability, and that's why I'm excited about tackling Pre-Calculus.  Things are just going really well.  My problems with math are about to be gone, I'm relieved of some major pressure with school, I have more time off from work, but I'm still making the money I need, and most of all, I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier.  See you all soon.

     I just got back from CFCC where I dropped off my last assignments for New Testament class and a little gift for Professor Manley.  For those who don't know, Manley is sort of like a celebrity around campus.  When he walks across center lawn from the Humanities building to the library (as he often does), people lick his footprints.  Also, he's on Clay Electric.  In many ways, he's a modern day Fonzie, what with every woman and most men throwing themselves at him.  At any rate, I will miss him a lot, and I would like to take this opportunity to once again reiterate that if you are at CFCC and have not take Introduction to the Humanities, you owe it to yourself, your peers, and the world at large to take it with Professor J. Manley.

     So these days I'm all bogged down with un-fun decisions like what college to attend.  I think the decision is made so frustrating by the fact that I don't know if I will be getting in to either of the two colleges I would like to, or any college except CFCC for that matter.  I never saw a guidance counselor until this semester (first one of my second year) when I found out that I was going to have to take six classes this semester and four classes over the summer, which, by the way, are not covered by my scholarship, in order to graduate at the end of summer and transfer to UCF or UNF in the fall.  So when I went to UCF and met with a counselor at the college of business, she pretty much said that I should wait to apply until I have at least some of these core business classes, which means that I'd be applying only two months before the deadline.  I emailed a counselor at UNF's college of business, and while she was a lot cheerier and seemed more forthcoming with information, she still said that their acceptance decision is based on how many core classes I have completed.  She did, however, say that I should probably apply now, but then went on to say that I should have my AA transferred to them when I receive it and went off on this limb about how transfer students with an AA don't have to meet the same requirements.  Seeing as how I'll get an AA like two weeks before fall classes would start, I think she might have missed the point a little.  Come to think of it, I think both counselors missed the point of what I was asking.  I tried six ways from Sunday to explain it to the UCF counselor, since I was sitting right there with her, but somehow I don't think I ever fully expressed what I was saying.  I think what I'm going to do is take an unofficial transcript to each of these places in a few weeks when I'm actually enrolled in the classes and say, "Look, here's six of the classes, I'll take the other four over the summer."  Maybe then I can get somewhere.  I guess there's also the option that I could take all four classes over Summer A, which I believe would be out before the July 1 transfer application deadline.  I'll have to think on that one after I finish my mammoth of a spring semester, though.

     So I really want to travel lately.  I found out Mr. Holmes is leading a four-week trip this semester to Barcelona, Milan, and other tempting locales.  I wanted to go to Israel this summer, but that didn't happen.  I would have had a year to raise the money, which I think I could have done, but still, if I saved a couple thousand dollars right before moving off to college, how could I honestly spend it all on a trip rather than living expenses?  Strangely, though, my urges to travel have been less adventurous, and more attainable.  The whole world has seemed a bit more attainable since going to Paris, but I'm talking about New York, Seattle, California, even Atlanta.  Of course I want to go to Wisconsin still to see Springz and Paris again would be great, but all these places I've wanted to visit are calling out to me even more now.  After taking a trip to a foreign country, it seems silly that I've never gone to places where if you have a question, you can just ask it in your own language, or read it off a sign.  I would, however, like to go to Paris with Carty and Jon.  I think that would be really fun in one sense, but in another I'd be a little afraid to.

     This semester is finally truly over.  Now I guess I just have to wait.  I'm anxious in a bad way to find out what my grade is for my math class, but hopefully it will all work out.  It always does.  It's just the waiting that sucks.  "She had gone to the tower to save us all, and for out part, we could do nothing but wait."  I actually haven't watched that in a long, long time...  I work at Gap at 2:00 today, and since I woke up so darn early to take those papers to school, I guess I have a decent block of time to waste.  Actually, I have quite a bit of time this week to waste.  I didn't change my availability for work so that I could get extra hours.  I figured that actually spending time with my friends is worth more than a big paycheck.  Give me a hug.  And besides, I got twenty three hours at Gap next week with three days off.  Twenty three hours doesn't sound like a lot, but it's my second job, so that's pretty decent for me.  I have high hopes for this week.  We'll hopefully be having a meeting of OCA graduates either this week or next, probably next, so if you missed the email, you are invited.  Actually, anyone is invited.  Just email me and I'll fill you in on the details.  Other than that, I want to finally get some Christmas decorations up.  Our tree isn't even up, but that's about par for my family.  Maybe I can put the lights on the house, but I'd rather get the inside decorated first.  I can't believe Christmas is almost a week away.  I may or may not do a Christmas update.  It will depend on the level of inspiration I receive.  I will, however, do a Christmas email, so you just better hope that you are included on that A-list of high caliber individuals to receive it.  I'd love to really cut loose, let my hair down, gabba-gabba-hey, and so forth this week, so if you're interested in doing something, give me an email or call.  While Hannah has stolen my work schedule for next week, I haven't heard anything about hers, but hopefully we can spend some quality time.  Nygaard should be home by now, or at least in Florida, and I've been saving episodes of The Simpsons for him.  Maybe I can see Carty and Jon a lot this week, too.  Ah, it's the most wonderful time of the year.  Until then, onward and upward, and check back for more updates.

12-16-05  10:29 AM

     I'm ready for fall.  While running some errands today, I stopped in Bed Bath & Beyond.  That store always exemplifies fall, and this time it made me really get excited.  I'm all ready with my coats and sweaters and whatnot, ready for some cold weather, some dull colors, some pumpkin carving, some turkey roasting, some squash baking...  I guess I just think about it too much, but I really can't wait for fall.  And wait, a few weeks in and I'll be jonesing for some hot weather and greenery.  

     About my Paris update, I sincerely doubt I will get it done in the next two days, especially if I have to go in for my tentative shift at Gap tomorrow night.  And whose fault is it?  Yours.  Yours for not staying on me about it.  I have started to put together a picture page.  It looks like I'll be showing my World Civilizations class some pictures of the Louvre's collection of Sumerian artifacts.  As far as the journal, I really want to finish it soon and post it, but, I'm not making much progress.  Stay on me about it.

     You know what is ticking me off lately?  This whole overreaction about identity theft.  It's an issue, of course, one that I was mildly the victim of myself.  But I'm sick of it being blown out of proportion.  A lot of people at Gap will start filling out the credit card applications and stop when they see that they have to provide their social security number.  One lady didn't even know if she had a GapCard, and when I offered to look it up, she wouldn't give her social security number to find out.  Now, I'm not exactly a GapCard fanatic, but that's just retarded.  You have to give a social security number to get any credit card.  Real phishing schemes ask you for all the information needed for direct access to your account.  If you had someone's social security number and wanted to exploit them, what the heck would you do with it anyways?  One piece of personal information is not enough.  And sometimes at Gap, when a customer pays with a debit card, they cover the electronic pad with one hand while they put in their PIN number.  I feel like saying to them, "Good idea, ma'am, seeing as how I just now memorized your sixteen-digit account number, expiration date, and approval code from your card that I didn't even touch."  My mom thinks that you should cut up those fake credit cards that they send you in the mail with the applications.  You know, the ones that say like "Joe M. Carholder".  She also won't mail anything from our house.  This is partially correct, because you could get all the information you need to hijack a credit card account off a bill that is waiting in your mailbox to get sent out.  But she won't mail letters or cards either, because it "has our address on it."  ...So does our mailbox, which is right in front of the house to which the address would be stolen.  Identity theft is very real, but the general public is providing another shining example of action based on ignorance.  Needless to say, I'm working on some new, identity theft-related items for the list.

     I'm trying to get into Advanced Creative Writing this semester, albeit almost three weeks late.  Professor Robison is supposed to be talking to the registrar about it.  Part of me really wants to get in, and part of me is still unsure of whether it's a good idea.  I just wonder if I should be putting into practice the idea of restraint from overactivity.  Pastor Phil talks about it in religious terms a lot—doing so much service that you don't even have time to take care of yourself spiritually.  If I'm taking five classes, one that requires a lot of inspired writing, and working two jobs, and trying to balance what I keep assuring myself could be considered a social life, I'm afraid that I just won't stop to smell the roses.  And that's important to me.  I've always seemed to think of myself as pretty in touch.  I don't want to miss this fall because I'm too busy being busy.  All that being said, if I get offered a place in the class, I'm going to jump on it.  Like so many other things, it's just going to come down to circumstance.  If I get the chance, I'll take it, and if not, I'll assume it was better that way to begin with.

     So that's my messed up little slice of life for the past week or so.  Here's hoping the next one will be my journal from Paris...right.

     So here it is summer and I still haven't written about France.  Now it's just the principle of it.  I just don't want to think that hard.  I used to tell myself I was too busy, but now I'm just being honest with myself and realizing I won't write it until I get good and ready, and frankly, I'm not ready.  I've been doing all manner of laziness like enjoying Ninja Gaiden (it rocks; play it) and now I don't know what to do.  I have such high hopes for this summer.  I want to go to theme parks and other cities.  I've been to the beach a lot already, and I want to keep doing that eventually.  But I'm poor now.  I'm going to work for the second half of summer back at Gap in addition to my filing job.  The way I see it, all I have to do is sacrifice nights and weekend for a little over a month, and I should have some decent pocket change.

     Speaking of work, I still love my job and all, but I have reached a bit of a problem.  It seems that now that I know what I am doing, I am getting all of my filing done in one day and I still have time left over.  And this is after showing up anywhere from forty-five minutes to an hour and a half late.  I say late, but no one really cares what time I show up, so it doesn't quite seem like I am late.  I can go to my office manager and ask for more work, but I don't want to be doing that every day as I think it would get annoying to both of us.  So one of the ladies I work with has said that she has work of her own she can pass off to me, and I have been doing it.  It's work on a computer, which is cool because I get to sit at a desk and type, and that beats standing all day.  But this last time that I helped her out, it seemed kind of like I was more trouble than I was worth.  The point is that I have to find something else to do at work.  I can't work two jobs indefinitely.  I really love my job, but I just need to find more to do so that I have reason to show up on time and stay the whole day.

     Hey, we haven't had any sentiment around here in a while.

     Thursday night was my last night at Gap.  I quit a job for the first time.  For the factual, I found a better job at a law office.  More money, better hours, nicer line of work...  So I should be happy, right?  And I am.  The only problem, if there is one (and I'm not saying that there is), is that I feel like such an awful, selfish person for this.  ...But not that much.

     Two weeks ago I met Ashley by coincidence at South Pole Smoothies.  In the course of talking, I asked how work was, and she proceeded to ask if Hannah or me needed a job.  I immediately said yes, and I was so excited.  There was no thought involved.  I went completely on the mixture of thoughts and feelings over the past six months that apparently told me loud and clear to get out.  Get away from the people who spent hours talking to you three months earlier when you were trying to quit, telling you that they would do whatever they had to do to keep you.  Get away from the people who wrote you Christmas cards, personalized to show that they knew you better than you ever thought.  Get away from the people who were so excited about your baptism, a decision that your own father only obligatorily stood by.  And get away from the people who put you in a leadership position despite your lack of seniority and boldness.

     I said yes, and in that second, it was decided.  "Yes," lead to a phonecall which locked me into an interview.  The interview brought me the opportunity of a new job, and so I quit.  I walked into Julie's office two weeks ago and said I had to talk to her.  She cried when I told her.  I wish I would have, too.  It began to seep around the store that I was leaving.  At first people would come up and say that they heard, and I would try to give some compromising, apologetic statement about how I hated to be leaving, but it was better that way.  Then I just started saying, "Yeah, my last day is Thursday."  I did hate to be leaving, but it was better that way.  Like most of my problems, it just became easier not to care as time went on.  In a grander sense, I guess the whole situation was like the other portion of my problems, the ones that I can't stop caring about and have to do something for when in fact they may have been better left alone.

     As Julie—head of store at Gap, now in the process of leaving as well—has said to myself and others, if I could take the store with me, I would.  If I could convert Gap into an office and make myself a file clerk there, I'd snap my fingers and make it so.  But at its root, what I'm really saying is, if Gap would pay me more money and give me more time off and not make me do things with my job that I don't want to do, I would love to keep working.  Which pretty much means that's the reasons I'm leaving.  And here we arrive again at the shallowness of leaving.

     Am I that selfish that I would sell out the people who have done everything possible and more to make me feel loved for an extra dollar on the hour?  For some time off to use for myself?  Since when was it all about me?  I only wanted to take a step onto higher ground.  I never wanted to leave everybody at Gap, and I never wanted to feel guilty.  I'm not trying to sound like I have my hands tied here.  I'm just so angry that I myself am part of one of the circumstantial partings that I hate so much.  People leave, not because they have to, but because they want to, and not because they want to leave, but because something else came up.  Acquaintances swap for acquaintances.  Things change just because that is the nature of things.  Like John Mayer says, "That's the way this wheel keeps working..."  I hate it.  Why do we have to live in the in-between?  Why can't we just go where we go and stay there?  I admit there is a shallowness to it, but not so much that I refuse to go through with it, and that is the part that is really disappointing.  Even so, I write this over two days after I have left Gap, and I care even less.  I write that I am disappointed, but more because I felt it, not because I feel it.  And that in itself is disappointing, a vicious cycle that I can't put the stranglehold on (when I'm even thinking about it, that is).

     I write this not as a dirge, but an ode.  I'm sorry, but not sorry enough, and that is what I'm really sorry for.  So ends an age.  Last Sunday was one of the first Sundays that I didn't have to work and I didn't go to the girlfriend's house after church.  So I went home the straightest way, the way that I used to go home from school and church during my senior year of high school.  It was odd in that I went to church that way every Sunday morning, but never home that Sunday afternoon, and that was what it took to plunge me back into a memory.  I'll now be driving that way to and from work three days out of the week, a refreshing notion for me.  But two days of the week, I'll be driving to school using the normal Gap/CFCC route.  I hate to make this another mile marker, but that's kind of what it is.  If I didn't work at Gap, things wouldn't be the way they are now.  I'll just leave it at that.  Now I'll be traveling both roads, straddling the new and the old, which is different depending on how you look at it.

     So I sit here in my Gap robe, Gap t-shirt, Gap socks, Gap pajama pants, Gap—well, let's just say I'm wearing all Gap—and I'm sad, I think.  I'm happy when I think about the new job, and that in a way is sad.  I don't know what I am, really.  I just am.  It's not good, but it's definitely not bad.  I think I kind of want to wear a buff with this ensemble, maybe for old time's sake, maybe just because.  So Gap is done for no plausible reason, and life takes another shape.  This update is as pointless as the whole situation, and if there's any meaning in all this, maybe that is it.  End of lecture.

5:39 AM  2-13-05

I chose to withhold this back when I wrote it because I was dwelling entirely too much on the whole situation.  As we all know, the first step to curing a problem is admitting that you have one; the second is hiding it from the world.  I still am dwelling, but that's another issue.  Due to some brain-cramping developments today that are making me remember once again how awful it is that it all had to end, I decided to go ahead and post it.  After all, it's been a few updates since I brought it up.  I really am going to need therapy for this one day...

     I never intended to get this deep into it.  I don't know at what point it was that I slipped and fell over the edge, but whenever it was, it happened so suddenly that I didn't even notice it.  And now, here I am, lying on the ground below, just now noticing what happened.  It's such a delayed reaction.  Everyone else is over it by now.  I'm talking, of course, about Springz.  Tonight I came across the pictures that I took of the last night of business and the last employee night.

     I thought I had lost them for a while.  I checked in my usual place on my hard drive for keeping pictures, and I couldn't find them.  Then I fabricated the memory of deleting all my pictures because they were all so blurry.  That's partially true, because I think I deleted a lot of them.  There was some close up setting that had to be set on this camera that I wasn't aware about at the time, so some of them came out very blurry.  But I didn't delete all of them, and in fact I kept quite a few blurry ones.  When I found a CD tonight with a backup of all my pictures, the light bulb went off.  I realized that I probably had Springz pictures, only on a different part of the hard drive.  And I did.  I found them and looked at every one.  I hadn't really forgotten anything about Springz.  I had just lost the feel of it.  Well, looking at those pictures, it came back.

     I saw Jen, Katie, and Amanda.  I saw Adam and Efren in the kitchen.  I saw Amber, and Alex, and Crystal, and Esther, and April, and Jenna (both of them).  I saw so many faces, some that I haven't even seen since then, and I still remember them.  It's not that it's been all that long, so I guess that's not much of a feat, but I remember more than just their names.  I remember them.  And I remember Springz.  Being in the building again a week ago, it still didn't sink in.  It was hard, don't get me wrong.  But seeing the whole place stripped of everything that it once was didn't effect me like those pictures did tonight.  I guess my memories weren't strong enough to bring it all back for me even when I was standing in the middle of it.  I'm a little bit ashamed to admit that, especially considering the painful beauty of the time I was privileged enough to spend there that night.  Now, thinking about that night nearly a week ago, I feel like I should have then.  I realize how bad it was to see Springz, faceless and dead.

     I looked at those pictures tonight, and I started to feel pain again.  It's been a downward slope lately.  The dream, the night in the building, and now this.  I looked at all of the pictures.  They weren't just of the people.  I had one of the rock wall, a few of the cafe, a few of e-Racerz, and one of the building's exterior.  And I had a few of the staircase.  Some had Dr. Jim talking to us all as a group for the last time, and some were of all of us on posing for a group picture on the stairs.  When I was done with all of them, I went into my room, found my Springz bear, and yeah, I cried.  For the first time.  From May all the way to November, I never shed a tear over this amazing place and these amazing people.  I guess I did pretty good.  I suppose that my consciousness basically said a detached "This sucks" about the whole situation, and I moved on to other things.  After all, a few weeks later, I graduated.  Then I went to JACON, then I overdosed on trips to the beach...  I didn't really have time to let it sink in.

     It bothers me now to think back and know that there was an opportunity to see Springz through even further after closing.  I knew Alex was going to be doing some work to prepare the building to go on the market, but I wasn't aware that Katie and Hannah were doing inventory and cleaning and the like until Katie told me one day at school.  I didn't want to be the little neighborhood fifth wheel and ask if I could help, too, so I didn't.  But I wish I could have been there longer to see it through.  I was never a part of the whole life of Springz, and that in itself bothers me.  But it bothers me to know that I wasn't part of the whole death of it, either.  I feel like just a normal employee, when I had all the intent of a dedicated one.  Unfulfilled intent has a way of eating you alive from the inside out, by the way.  I don't know what to think anymore.  My mind just aches with the idea of the whole thing.  I don't want to sit here and scoff at the job I've been blessed with or the people I've been able to meet there.  And after all, there are some very good things that I don't think I would have ever been able to receive if Springz was still open.  So in that respect, I guess I'm glad.  Not glad that Springz is gone, just glad that what had to happen happened.  I guess that there really is a reason for all this.  I'm wondering if maybe I'd be a little naive when it came time for another job when moving away for college or whatever, had Springz stayed open.  Or that's the theory I'm working under at least.  All I know is that it sucks to once again redefine what it feels like to know that Springz is gone.  I don't want to scoff at the blessings that are right in front of my face in spite of and in result of Springz's demise, so I guess I should say that it just feels like it sucks.  I just wish I could have it all.  But you can't have it all.  You just have to choose a few.  So I guess I'm not really doing too bad after all, because I have what is most important.  I just needed a little bit of time to ramble...

     I don't think that I have been too terribly open about my faith on my website, and in a way, that's a shame.  In others it isn't.  I guess that with the internet being such in an incredibly open medium, it's no wonder that I run into so many devotional- or praise-oriented musings.  Let's face it, most of my friends are Christians, and if you are a Christian, you probably are going to talk about Christ.  I feel that I've provided a moral air to my writings, but I have never really talked as openly as I'm about to concerning God.  With all the hope I can muster that no one will be offended or misunderstand what I truly feel, I'll say that I just find it very hard not to roll my eyes when every Xanga entry is something about God.   Don't get me wrong.  It's great to hear what He does for someone in that person's life.  But sometimes it just seems a little unsolicited.  Maybe this is all a terrible thing for me to be saying.  I mean, after all, who am I to judge the appropriateness of someone else's praise?  Hopefully, mine won't be judged either.

     I have been made more aware of God's grace lately.  When I say lately, I mean over the past few months.  He's always been gracious, always blessing me more than I ever deserved.  But lately, I'm learning about reliance on Him.  There have been several specific instances where I have been shown by example that I have absolutely no power whatsoever in many of the areas of my life.  In at least one of them, I flat out told Him that there was nothing I could do, and that if something good was going to come out of it, it was going to be a result of His work, not mine.  Isn't this always true in every instance?  Of course it is.  But I think it's very hard to realize this until you experience it personally.  Until you come to a point where your hands are tied behind your back and there's no chance of breaking free, you might not be able to understand it completely.  Hopefully you can, though.  I think this is one reason why God has been putting me in situations like this lately.  If He doesn't drop me a few times, even if He catches me before I hit the ground, I'm never going to learn how to act when I fall.  I'm never going to learn what it's like to trust that everything will be okay.  In this way, I think God is "stockpiling" experiences of helplessness, and through them, trust, so that when it comes time to face something really huge, I'll have proven reasons why trusting Him is better than anything I could hope to do for the situation.

     Specifically, God has saved me from the risky situation of identity theft.  And there's simply no explanation, other than His grace, for why I didn't fall prey to it.  It was a savvy scam.  I'm a gullible person, but I'm not so gullible as to fall for an internet scam.  Or at least not your run-of-the-mill internet scam.  But in His grace, He first showed me what had happened, then showed me that He had protected me in the time that I didn't even know I was in danger, then provided a solution for me.  With a phone call, a few trips to the ATM, and a little bit of paperwork at the bank, He saved me from getting robbed blind.  Literally.  They probably would have cleaned out my account.

     When the whole mess got sorted out, I sat down to call the 'ole girlfriend and relate what had just happened when I realized that I could check the voicemail on my lost cell phone from home.  You see, the night before, Hannah and I had gone on a date, and at some point, I lost my cell phone.  The last of my three messages was from the person who found my phone and contained information on where to contact her so I could get it back.  This semester, God gave me a B in the class that I was trending towards getting a C in.  I didn't deserve any better than a C.  In fact, I deserved worse.  But he gave me a B.  These three situations are all things that I had no control over.  But He turned things around in the way that only He could have, and I was saved a lot of trouble because of it.

     It doesn't end there.  He gave me back a notebook I lost that contained a project that the grade of that tricky class was riding on. In a completely unexpected blessing, He has made a way for me to fulfill a dream and travel somewhere far away in just a few months.  Even if the true nature of the problem was a little bit ridiculous, He worked out a scary situation with my car not starting a few nights ago.  I've been blessed with money enough to give some decent Christmas presents.  And not to get all personal or anything, but I do have an amazing girlfriend only by the grace of my God.  None of these things happened because I was smart or resourceful or self-sufficient in any way.  Only by God am I privileged enough to say that these things are so.

     So there, I talked about God.  I hope I didn't rub people the wrong way in saying that I read it elsewhere too much.  And really, I hope I didn't discourage anyone from posting something they are so inspired to.  There are those who can share with the entire online world that they are happy with God because he provided ample but not overbearing cloud coverage that day.  But I guess that for me, if I'm going to post something of that nature, I feel like it should be something big.  And this stuff is.  I don't know if this is a new style for me, but I don't want to deny credit where credit is due, especially when it's to the very Reason I'm alive and well.  Thanks for reading.

"Daylight fading, come and waste another year.  All the anger and the eloquence are bleeding into fear.  Moonlight creeping around the corners of our lawn.  When we see the early signs that daylight's fading, we leave just before it's gone."   —Counting Crows

     When I set out to start this series, if you want to make it sound cool like that, it was the end of summer.  School—college, I should say—was about to start for me.  I thought that life was about to take a drastic nosedive.  I was ready for the worst.  These tributes have been goodbyes to friends that I was expecting to lose.  So now comes the final installment, but it comes with a twist.

     Friends are amazing inventions.  I am so privileged to have the friends that I do.  None of them are perfect, and they all possess at least one quality that I wish they didn't.  But when it all comes down to it, friends are your most prized possessions.  This summer would have been nothing if not for the countless beach trips and the few late night excursions around Ocala that characterized it.  That goes double for the last few years, only the beach trips and excursions were bets placed with corn muffins, swordfights with yardsticks in the chemistry lab, birthday kidnappings, and a whole season of basketball.

     With all this in mind, it's really no wonder that when my friends started leaving, I was ready to crawl back under the rock from whence I came.  I was convinced that they were going to leave and be gone for good.  Everything that they say about high school, how you all graduate and then you never see each other again, I was convinced that it would all befall me regardless of how much I was aware that it was coming.  Well, get ready, because I'm going to say something that I didn't think I would be saying, and that I hope I won't be saying again soon.  I was wrong.

     The three of you that I was so worried would be gone from me are gone, but not like I thought.  Technology has bridged the gaps, and effort has made the friendships persevere.  I know that we're just now out of the gate, but I'm going to go ahead and say that I think this is a good start.  Things can change, and that's as much a curse as it is a blessing.  But change is holding some promises for the future.  Next summer currently promises to bring us all back together again.  While we're not even halfway there yet, I can't help but be a little bit excited at the prospect of it.

     And right now, life is good.  I don't deny that I say that for some pretty obvious reasons, but what more than obvious reasons do I need?  I still dread the idea of disposable friends, and while I'm not yet ready to completely buy into the thought of living happily ever after with everyone I was afraid of losing, I'm at least more confident now.  It's been a little too serious around here lately, so now I plan to return things to normal.  Here's to the future.  As much as I can see of it, it's shaping up to be pretty good.  Now, I think I had some cheese to eat...

     Oh, happiest of days!  Today, as I was updating my Xanga site, I used the "Currently Watching" feature to look up Survivor - The Complete First Season when I stumbled upon a listing for Survivor All-Stars - The Complete Season.  Apparently they are disregarding the six seasons that lie between the first and eighth seasons and releasing Survivor: All Stars ahead of the others.  Of course, I don't know of any official word to release all seasons of Survivor on DVD.  It's just what I wish very deeply for.  My guess is that they want to go ahead and release it on DVD while there is still some buzz surrounding it.  After all, to my knowledge, Rob and Amber have not yet tied the not that they committed to right in the midst of the final Tribal Counsel.  And I know that this season enjoyed excellent ratings, another plus for releasing it on DVD.  This makes me happy, though, because whereas The Simpsons takes just under a year to complete a season on DVD, Survivor is proving that they have no trouble releasing DVDs of an entire season within just about four months of each other.  Can Survivor: The Australian Outback or Survivor: Africa be far behind?  Well, I don't really know.  This is all just speculation.  Surprising as it is, I don't frequent any Survivor news sites.  I probably would have known about Survivor: All-Stars' release long ago if I did, and I would probably know the story behind why it is being released so soon after it aired.  It's ironic that this information came when it did.  I just started actively watching my copy of the first season on DVD, which I bought the first day it came out just to create positive sales research.  See, this is why I need to be in marketing.  I understand the dance.  Once again, I digress.  I have been watching the first season of Survivor, which is the only one I did not watch when it originally aired.  I'm really seeing some surprising differences between the show's roots and what it is now.  That's true of just about any show that has been on the air for awhile, but this is pretty crazy.  Jeff Probst is a lot more casual in the first season.  Also, either the editing crew is stricter these days or players are more well-read about the production aspect of the show.  During Tribal Counsel on the episode I watched a few minutes ago, when Stacy was voted out, Jeff was like, "Okay, just bring your torch over here."  When he sent her off, she said goodbye, and he said goodbye back to her.  That's so quirky when you look at today's Tribal Counsels...  But by far, the worst was what he did after that.  It was raining really hard, which usually happens during a few Tribal Counsels each season.  Jeff was noticeably agitated by it.  These days he just brushes his hair back with his hand and weathers it.  But when Stacy was gone and he was giving his final address to the tribe, he said he didn't want to let them out in that kind of weather and offered to let them stay the night at Tribal Counsel!  What the heck?

     There were two things I wanted to talk about in this update.  One was the Survivor DVDs, and the other was the last trip I took to the beach.  It was just Jon and myself, as has been the style at the time these past few weeks.  We did all the usual stuff—skim boarding, lunch at Friendly's.  Actually, those are the only two usual things that we did.  We spent hardly any time at the Ocean Walk chick-spotting like we usually do, and we didn't even go to the boardwalk (yay!  I don't like the boardwalk).  But the most unusual, and undoubtedly awesome, thing that we did was skim board from early evening on into the night.  The moon was nearly full, and we knew that it would provide ample light for skim boarding.  We did this on the beach in front of the Ocean Walk and the more populated hotels near it.  I think it would have been a little more boring if we were just on some regular section of beach.  There were actually a lot of people out on the beach for how late it was, but they stayed in perfect harmony with us.  They were all taking walks beside the water, and we had the tide to ourselves to skim board in.  It was quite mystical, and I think that it's going to be something I'll look back on and mystify even more as the memory of it becomes more distant.  I got a new skim board, by the way, which is what made this all possible.  My old one would have never stood up to the hours' worth of skimming that we did.  I found that it's actually a lot more productive to do it at night because you can see the water much better, but you can't judge its depth.  You end up taking more opportunities that you would probably rule out if you could actually see the water clearly.  I also learned better how to run fast onto the board, not slowing down to match its speed when I get on it, but that probably had nothing to do with how late it was.  And it was late.  When I got back to my cell phone, it was after 11:00 PM.  That was a daunting moment when I realized that I had that long, tedious drive ahead of me.  But it always seems faster going back, and the ride is always more pleasant when it's later in the day.

     And this brings me to my final topic, which is probably not even worth mentioning, but I will anyways.  This Sunday is the day of the beach trip that I have wanted everyone from our class to go on so that we could have one last blast together before we all head off for college or stay in town for college or whatever everyone is doing.  Even though I'd like to hope that it is going to be more, I have a feeling that it's going to be the usual beach trip attendees plus one or two.  So if you are reading this and you'd like to go, you are invited, regardless of whether you graduated in my class or not.  I've got a little bit of room in my car, and I'm sure that there are more people driving who would be willing to let you ride with them as well.  So what are you waiting for?  Go on, tell me that you're coming with all the cool kids to the beach on Sunday after church, and while you're at it, confess your undying love for me.  Don't be scared.  I don't—well, yes I do.  The point is, it's all going down Sunday at the beach, and you'd make the day that much brighter.  Come to the beach.

"I've been up all night.  I might sleep all day.  Get your dreams just right, then let them slip away."
—Counting Crows

     I guess that this summer is going to contain a similar but hopefully shorter period of internet blackout like the one that took place two summers ago.  The difference is that I can actually get online this time, but something seems to be wrong with the website.  What really seems to be wrong is the web server, but I don't know what to do about that short of ramming my foot up the butts of some Atlantic.net folks.  But rather than do that, I'll just wait it out till I switch to another service provider, for DSL is coming...  Yes, it's finally coming...  So, like that magical summer of yore, I am continuing to write on this site even though the updates are not being posted.  I'll have plenty for my loyal readers (all several of you) to delve into when I get back online.  Watch something happen now like I find out that DSL is not in fact coming.

     With that terrible, terrible thought in mind, let me go ahead an explain why DSL is thought to be coming.  As anyone who has ever gotten into a conversation with me about my online situation can tell you, I can't get DSL, or any broadband internet for that matter, and that I want it badly.  I was going to start a letter-writing campaign to Sprint, and I even had a rough-draft of the first letter typed up.  Apparently, though, as my dad was driving the other day, he saw a Sprint truck near our house and pulled over to ask the guy when we would be getting it.  Coincidentally, the guy had just finished up installing the equipment for DSL and said that they would start running tests on it.  In the phone calls to Sprint that undoubtedly followed this joyous discovery, they said that it would be a few weeks before we could get it.  The past few days there has been a gaping hole right in front of my mailbox and some people working on the phone line.  I certainly hope this is in preparation for DSL.  Actually, I don't care what they are doing as long as I do in fact get DSL some time soon.  Just think...  No more annoying disconnections.  I can finally download the new Napster and get back into downloading .mp3's, this time paying for them.  I can start downloading fan-subbed anime on my own.  I can join the likes of those people who are constantly connected to AOL Instant Messenger, who only set away messages when they are not at the computer instead of disconnecting.  And I'll be able to get Xbox Live.  And, oh dear, do I smell an MMORPG in my future?  Well, that's pushing it, but I would certainly be more prone to one.

     Work at Gap is going pretty well.  I want to say that it's different from work at Springz, but in many ways, it's not.  I feel exactly the same as I used to when I start that slow, sugary-nice voice with a customer.  I say that in a more disgusted tone than I really mean, because it's always fulfilling to be of help to someone who will appreciate it.  But it is different in that every day I'm given a series of sales numbers that I am expected to do my part in helping the store achieve.  This is not easy when you barely know the layout of the store and the availability of certain items and yet you must help people find what they want.  It's also not easy when you try to make sales by asking a customer if you can help find anything and they simply say no.  And it's even harder when one of the most important aspects of working at Gap is opening GapCards, and you are not a very convincing person when it comes to getting people to do that.  I say all that, though, to illustrate that I am learning, and to say that I fully intend to overcome these difficulties.  Already I've been able to help a few customers flawlessly.  Yesterday I opened three GapCards, and I was given credit for one on Saturday that I didn't get outright but helped to achieve.  I'm really learning how to talk to the customers about it, and I'm learning to make it routine instead of occasional.  I just hope that I can go back on my next shift and pick where I left off. All in all, I'm pretty confident that I can.  Aside from the actual work aspect of the job, there are perks.  I get clothes for cheap, and the music is great.  I am much more drawn to the music on the kids side of the store than the adult side.  That might seem pathetic, but a lot of the music is not very kid-oriented, just kid-suitable.  On the first day at work, I was delighted to hear a song each from Michelle Branch, Vanessa Carlton, and Avril Lavigne on the kids side.  Apparently the music changes every month, but I think they retain some songs.  The three I just mentioned are all gone this month, but Counting Crows' "Accidentally in Love" is back, only it is on the kids side instead of the adult side.  Several other songs that I remember hearing on the kids side my first couple of shifts have also been retained on this month's CD.  I prefer last month's music selection over this one, but I was happy to hear "As Lovers Go" by Dashboard Confessional included on this month's kids side music.

     A few weeks or maybe even a month ago now, I was doing the eBay thing pretty big.  I got some resin statues and a Chrono Cross art book.  The art book was mainly just for the positive feedback I would get from it, but it was something I had considered buying back around the time I was playing the game.  I guess it's just not as much of a decision to buy things when you have your own bank account, debit card, credit card, PayPal account, eBay account, etc.  I don't say these things as some sick sort of bragging, but I used to have to ask my mom to use her credit card, then pay her back the money for what I would purchase online.  And eBay, well, that was out of the question considering I couldn't have my own eBay account until I was eighteen, and ditto for PayPal, which most sellers only accept.  So, in short, times have changed, and I'm experiencing a bit of financial freedom.  That's freedom, not necessarily gain.  I do want to start selling on eBay soon, though, starting with the hunk o' junk Hammerhead skim board I bought.  I sincerely hope that I, Jon, Kyle, and Reilly just don't have a knack for using it and that someone can buy it and put it to good use, but whatever the case, I want to get whatever I can for it and get rid of it.  I have a nice, new, fiberglass skim board now.  I call it 'Ole Blue.  But anyways, I digress.  I think Jon wants me to sell his computer, and he mentioned that there was other stuff he wanted to unload.  Hopefully I'll be able to get some trust from some people with my very good yet very small feedback history.  I'm finding myself giving way to some potentially reckless thinking, though.  For instance, I am thinking of buying the Inuyasha first season DVD box set, but if I end up not liking it, I tell myself that I can always eBay it.  Same with RahXephon.  I saw two cool-looking music videos at JACON that used footage from it.  Now I want to get some of the DVDs.  That's a big investment, but hey, I can always eBay it if I don't like it, right?  Well, I'm sure I would end up taking big losses if I did that, but I'm not entirely opposed to the idea.  After all, it is just about the best course of action I could take.  One thing is certain, however, and that is that there can be absolutely no sale of wild mushrooms on eBay, right along with unpasteurized dairy products and copies of items bearing the autograph of a celebrity.  There are some wacky things listed on their forbidden items page.

     And that's all for now, it seems.  I think I'm going to do an all Final Fantasy update soon.  I know you'll all look forward to that.  Also, I may think about getting a message board.  How would that make you all feel?  I would love for something like that to work out, but at the same time, I can very much see it falling flat on its face due to initial surge of traffic followed severe lack of interest.  But, anyhow, I should try for sleep now.  The group of us graduates that have been steadily hanging out over the summer are going to Ricky's house tomorrow night for an evening of fun, food, and friendz, and I wouldn't want to be drowsy for that, now would I?

     My thoughts have turned lately to memories of eleventh grade.  This is weird because I didn't much like eleventh grade, at least not until it was over with.  These thoughts are brought on, I'm sure, by some pretty obvious influences.  A few nights ago, I had a dream that took place back when I was on the basketball team in eleventh grade.  We were upstairs in the OCA weight room after the second quarter of the game doing our meeting thing, whatever it was called.  Or maybe it was after the game, I'm not quite sure.  But Snyder was giving us one of his many inspirational talks that basically said, "We suck, but don't let it get you down."  Bobby Walrath from eighth grade was on the team, probably due to the mention I made of him in a recent conversation with Nygaard.  When I woke up from that dream, it was still night, and in that weird, judgment-impaired, emotionally-supercharged moment that follows certain dreams, I felt a certain fondness for that time period.

     I'm sure it also has to do with the pictures that I recently had developed from a certain disposable camera...  I'm sitting here looking at them now.  The three pictures that really jump out at me are the ones of the ever-lauded peacock hunt that took place at my house while my parents were away on a cruise.  Maybe they'll show up on this site one day.  But anyways, they show myself, Jon, Carty, and Nygaard standing on top of the unlucky bird's grave, holding our implements of destruction.  Nygaard has a well-groomed look in this picture, something that he has only recently re-acquired.  Good memories.

     And then there's the final reason why I'm really high on the thoughts of eleventh grade.  As I was looking through my hard drive for files that I want to archive before wiping it clean and finally upgrading to Windows XP, I came across my folder of online conversations that I thought were worth keeping.  I have gone around in circles with whether or not is smart or pathetic that I have held on to conversations like this, and I have actually deleted large stashes of these logs when whatever it was that made them near and dear to me was no longer important.  I may, in fact, do the same thing with these that I found tonight, forever ending the habit of saving chat logs since I don't do much in the way of AOL Instant Messenger anymore.  But, regardless of what I decide, I'm glad that I took a few minutes to look through one chat log from about the same time as the peacock hunt, give or take a few days.  It's funny that that was the one to take me back, because it wasn't even one of my conversations.  It just took place on my computer, and I was mentioned in it once or twice.  It really brought back some of the vivid memories of eleventh grade, though.

     I think one of the reasons eleventh grade was so seemingly bad was because there was so much that was new about it, and so much that was so very close to and yet so painfully far from the glory of tenth grade.  I sometimes wonder if it is better to have a good memory that allows you to remember the minute intricacies of life, or to have a very bad one that eliminates the disappointment that the former brings on.  Either way, reading that chat has helped bring back the feeling of some of the things that I remembered in a more factual light.  Things like me having a girlfriend.  How did that ever happen?  As messed-up as that whole situation was, I still don't think I regret it.  And heck, what about all my other female pursuits that year?  As was already mentioned, I played basketball, too.  That's even more unbelievable.  It's also helped me remember what it was like to not have a job, or rather, not to have ever had a job (I've been pretty familiar with the feeling of not having a job for the past two and a half months).  In that picture, I'm holding the spear I carved from a tiny tree that I hacked down with a machete.  When I had no job, no car, and no excuse for a life as I do now, I saw no shame in doing something like that.  I guess I'm really sort of glad that I wasn't allowed to have a job until I was, because I probably would have never taken some of the long, thoughtful walks that I did, or done things like carve that spear.  And hey, it wasn't all that bad.  I had a pretty decent income walking my neighbor's dog.  And the things I wanted in life eventually came, even though all the things I want out of life are by no means yet accomplished.

     Things are so much different now than they were then, but things were so much different then than they were the year before.  Even though I sometimes wanted to shoot myself and everyone around me during eleventh grade, I feel sad that it's gone.  Part of me wants to run away from it even farther, because the less time I spend thinking about it, the less opportunity I'll have to get hung up on it.  But I think that my life is doing a pretty good job of changing on its own.  I feel like a different person now.  At the same time, though, I'm not, because I remember those things.  That time that I think fondly of right now, I have those memories for a reason.  I lived them.  So here I sit in my Adidas shorts, checking my work schedule, listening to Avril Lavigne—all things that I never would have done back then—remembering how I was.  And what can I do about it?  Nothing, except remember it some more.  Everything I remember is, in some way or another, gone from me now.  I hope this in some way illustrates why I hold memories in such high regard.  If I don't remember, I've lost a part of myself.  I can change, but I'll still be me as long as I remember who I am.  Maybe I just think too much, but, I don't know...  It seemed important to me.  Let's hope I can get through this system upgrade without anymore sentimental encounters.

     So on Wednesday, Jon and I went to the beach.  It was very cool, except we didn't get to skim board much at all.  I drove there, which was a first, and we went to Daytona instead of the usual Ormond.  We found a good spot on the beach, but after about an hour, we got bored and decided to eat at Friendly's.  Afterwards, we went to Salty Dog and the back to the beach.  We drove pretty far, but I got sort of apprehensive about getting stuck.  My car is pretty low to the ground, and I was feeling my control diminishing in a few patches of deep sand.  So we parked and tried to skim board, but a lifeguard or beach patrol or just some guy pretending to be one of the two told us to stay out of the water because of the impending storm.  So we went down to the Ocean Walk and boardwalk and chick-spotted there for a while.  I got some fake glasses that I'm gong to try for a while to see if I want to get some real ones again.  As is always the case, we turned to philosophical discussions as the day grew long and during the ride home.  When we got back to Ocala, we saw Nygaard pulling out of Central Baptist.  We met in the parking lot of the closest gas station and decided to organize a shindig of sorts.  Jon and I got to dialing on our cell phones, and, while we called more people, we got Ricky and Kyle to join us at Bennigans.  When we got there, my mom called me and gave me a name and number to call for a lady from Gap who wanted to schedule a job interview with me.  This came as a huge surprise since Gap was the first place I applied when looking for jobs, and it was quite some time ago.  So I called her on Jon's cell phone (for some reason, I was roaming at Bennigans), and I'm set for an interview at 4:00 PM tomorrow.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't pretty excited.  Even though it's not like I'm hired and I could very well not be hired, this is the first interview I'll have been granted out of Southtrust, Gap, Ford of Ocala, Taylor Bean and Whitaker, and Publix.  So, here's hoping.

     I came to a sad realization the other day, and that is that I am out of shape.  I haven't had any real exercise since...well, basketball season of eleventh grade.  But I always thought that I was pretty much on the good side of physical fitness.  I guess that I am by comparison of most people who are considered out of shape, but the past three times that I have skim boarded, I just don't have the energy to do it for any huge amount of time.  And it's not like it's all that strenuous.  Then, when we were at the Ocean Walk and the storm really rolled in, the beach was almost empty of people and cars, yet mine was still parked where we had left it hours ago.  Being unfamiliar with beach laws, I didn't know if all cars were required to leave in a situation like that.  So Jon and I ran down the beach to my car.  He said it was about three quarters of a mile, but I think it was a bit more.  At any rate, I barely made it.  When I got out of bed the next morning, it felt like my calves had had several knots tied in each of them.  They are still sore today.  I guess I should have stretched or something, but I think I need to start exercising.  Over a year ago I was saying that I wanted to get a gym membership and work out, but I'm seriously going to do it now.  Nygaard is leaving for college in a month or so, and I have always wanted him to get me started on a decent routine before he goes.

     I think I'm becoming an Avril Lavigne fan.  I saw on Letterman a while ago and liked what I heard...and saw.  On Air also featured her about the same time, but I just got around to watching that episode the other day.  Well, I had decided to get one of her CDs in a big online order that I was planning, but when I found myself in Best Buy looking for the newly released and highly recommended Uru: Complete Chronicles, I went over to the music section and started getting some CDs that I had planned to order.  I found Avril Lavigne's CDs and decided to get the older one since it had three songs that I had heard and liked on it.  However, while looking at the newer CD, I must have switched it with the older one and ended up buying it instead.  Best Buy didn't have Uru, so I went to the mall to look for it, and got the older Avril Lavigne CD at FYE.  So while it was sort of accidental, I now have both of her CDs and I'm liking them a lot.  I know I should be ashamed or something, but I'm not.

     You know, nobody follows the traffic law of stopping at a red light before turning right.  Most everybody doesn't come to a complete stop even at a stop sign, which I think is why I often have trouble with other cars at them.  But seriously, nobody stops at a red light.  They just slow down, look to see if it's clear, and go through.  I think many people don't actually know that you are required to stop at a red light before turning, even if there's no one coming.  In fact, there is some weirdo law that says you have to wait three seconds before turning.  When I took my driver improvement class for the fender bender, the instructor said he once had a guy in his class because of a ticket for not waiting three seconds at the light.  So...you guys better start stopping.

     As you have probably not noticed, the rants section is gone due to lack of interest.  I do have a new section up, though, which is "Things I Hate".  Check it out on the sidebar above the "Pictures" heading.  This has been a long time coming.  In fact, I had it written out in one form before I had the rest of the site written.  I remember talking to Katie after school in tenth grade while I was writing it.  The parenthesis on number twelve was originally a reference to her in some way since she doesn't like new foods but asked not to be on my hate list.  Now it's just talking about things like eyes and white roe.  Anywho, I think I'm going to try to make updates shorter, even if that doesn't mean they will come more frequently.  At Nygaard's prompting, I think I'm going to go see Anchorman tonight with at least him, but hopefully other people.  Until then, I have some Avril Lavigne to listen to.

     Hi-hi.  I beat Final Fantasy VIII tonight.  I've fought a lot of bosses in my day, but I have to say that that was the hardest.  If you're at all familiar with RPGs, you know when you reach the end of the game and fight the character that serves as the last boss (usually the antagonist from the story, but not always), the first or second fight is not necessarily the final fight.  But Final Fantasy VIII subjects players to not two, not three, but four fights in a row, with no break in between to heal.  The bosses—Ultimecia, Griever, a fused form of the two, and the true form of Ultimecia—are absolute behemoths.  I don't know how long the series of fights took me, but it was at least an hour, if not two or somewhere in between.  And this was not the first time I had tried.  I have been trying for the past few days.  Oh, and did I mention that the characters you face the bosses with are chosen at random?  The only redeeming factor is that when a character dies, you have a short time to revive them before they are "absorbed into time" (the plot deals with the impending doom of the planet through "time compression") and a new character replaces them.  So, eventually, you can get the three characters that you armed to fight the bosses, but if they die, you had better revive them very quickly, lest you lose them forever.  My dream team consisted of Squall, Zell, and Rinoa.  Squall had the Revive ability, so he was in charge of resurrecting anyone who died, which didn't happen often.  Zell had Treatment and the Item command in lieu of the Magic command, so he was in charge of curing people when the first boss cast Bio or Curse and using magic stones to cast attack magic.  And Rinoa had the Recover command, so she could restore anyone to full health in one turn.  The bulk of my attacks, at least on the final two bosses, was Squall's limit break.  And really, the only reason I beat it was because I was fairly lucky tonight.  Squall's limit break, Renzokuken, basically consists of him going ballistic on the target, hitting it seven times I think.  Then, after that, there is the chance of him doing one of four other special moves that are earned by upgrading your weapon earlier in the game.  Well, I am so glad that I actually got Squall's best weapon, the Lion Heart, because that unlocks the special move of the same name.  Lion Heart is basically a much bigger version of Renzokuken.  Squall hits the target more times than I could probably count if I tried.  When it's over, the damage is somewhere near 100,000 hit points.  This is good, considering the last two bosses have over 180,000 and 250,000 hit points, respectively.  But, as I said, it was a lucky draw.  In past attempts, I would get Squall's other special moves that caused a few thousand points' worth of damage instead of Lion Heart.  This time, though, I was lucky enough to get Lion Hearts fairly frequently, moving the battle along.  My finishing blows on the final boss were really a leap of faith, though.

     You see, to get a limit break, a character has to have low hit points, and therefore be in danger of dying.  When the hit points are low, there is a chance, albeit a good one, that you will be able to get a limit break.  But, there is a spell called Aura that gives the same affect without having to put the character in danger.  So I would have Rinoa cast it on Squall or have Zell use an Aura Stone, which casts Aura, on him when they weren't busy healing another character, which they often were.  So, one of the spells that the absolute last boss casts is called Hell's Judgment, which brings every character's hit points down to one.  I would usually scramble to get Rinoa healing Squall, and then heal the other two when I could.  I wasn't in so much of a rush since the boss rarely cast any magic attacks or outright attacked physically during the majority of the fight.  But, when her hit points got low, she would cast a new spell in addition to Hell's Judgment, this one called Apocalypse.  It caused massive damage, but Squall was able to survive it with his hit points maxed out.  Zell was actually able to survive it with his hit points somewhere in the seven thousands, too.  Well, at one point, I slipped up, and I lost both Zell and Rinoa.  Since Zell was stronger and had a decent inventory of Aura stones and some attack magic stones, I chose him and said goodbye to Rinoa as she was absorbed into time.  It was hard without her since Zell only had one or two items that would fully heal someone, whereas Rinoa could do it an unlimited number of times with her Recover command.  I had Zell use an Aura stone to make Squall reach his limit break, and, luck would have it that I got a Lion Heart.  This started Ultimecia talking—something that I had read in a guide was a sign that she was almost dead.  I continued with limit breaks every chance I got.  It was hard to recover from Apocalypse spells, and I reached a point where Zell and Squall were both low enough on hit points that they would die if Ultimecia cast Apocalypse.  And she did.  Before she did it, she would draw the spell from the lower half of her body (it makes sense if you've played enough of these games).  I managed to get Squall behind a GF, which took the fall for him, but his hit points were still dangerously low.  I had Squall revive Zell.  Ultimecia had said the last piece of dialogue that I had read she would say before she died.  She cast Hell's Judgment, bringing us down to one hit point each.  Squall had had an Aura Stone used on him, so he would have had a limit break even if he wasn't almost dead, but Zell's weakened state gave him a limit break opportunity, too.  I decided that there was nothing I could do to bring my characters back.  I could have Squall use his turn to heal himself, and have Zell do what he could with his items, which wasn't much.  And if I did this, I'd probably lose Zell again to another Apocalypse, and start the process all over again.  Then I'd get caught by an unexpected attack or spell and lose the fight.  So I made a run for it.  I set Squall to attack with Renzokuken and Zell to use his limit break, Duel, which wasn't very powerful on this boss.  If I didn't kill her with this, I'd get hit with Apocalypse and die for sure.  But Squall jumped into the air and rained down vicious death on her with his translucent blue gunblade.  I threw down the controller, sighed a sigh of relief, and watched the good ending.  

     I'm a little confused, though, and I'm going to have to get Onew to explain it to me.  I think it goes without saying that I'm not going to be beating it again any time soon.  I might actually go back and get the two optional GFs that I didn't get this time and level up my three characters to a point where it's not so much of a stretch to win the last fight.  But now I can play Kingdom Hearts.  I got it for Christmas, and I had told myself I wouldn't play it until I was finished with Final Fantasy VIII, but, to tell the truth, I was really considering starting to play it if I didn't beat Final Fantasy VIII tonight.  I'm so happy that I beat this game, though, and that's why I made such a big deal of writing all about it.  I bought this game at the beginning of this past school year, and between work and whatever else, it took me the whole year to get to the end of it.  I remember emailing Onew about it and asking her questions, or giving her a status report.  And, come to think of it, I still have to get together with her some time and give her her birthday present that I've had since MegaCon.  Onew, email me!

     It is the best of times, it is the blurst of times.  My research paper that I had worried would not be able to be graded was okay; Survivor: All Stars is over, and it was a very good season; I've got plenty of time now that I'm out of school to do things like clean the house, watch movies, and, hopefully, play video games; Survivor is finally on DVD!!!; Northern Exposure will also be released on DVD soon; it's E3 time, and the new Zelda game is what every fan didn't even hope for because no one thought it would happen.  But on the other side of things, I guess I have so much time on my hands because Springz is closed, and that's sad; school really is out, and I'll be graduating this Friday; Amber won Survivor: All Stars, and Rob was the runner-up; I haven't been playing much Final Fantasy VII, even though I am right at the end; The O.C. is done for this season.  I guess it's sad that most of the highs and lows I just described have to do with TV.

     As I said, Survivor: All Stars is over.  The result of the game was disappointing, but the ending wasn't.  I think a question was more or less posed by the words of the jury at the final Tribal Counsel—how far is too far?  Normally, if a ruthless player makes it to the final two, he has a decent shot of winning.  People will respect the fact that they did whatever they had to do to win the game.  They wanted it bad enough to do nearly anything for it, and that wins many people some votes.  But Rob Mariano stooped lower than low.  Rob lied and backstabbed to the extent that it became ridiculous.  And this time it actually affected the jury's decision.  When the jury got their chance to address the final two, things were said that made Rob really rethink what he had done, and in many ways, he was not happy.  I thought that this was actually going to add a new twist to the outcome of the game.  I thought that Rob might have actually found out something valuable about himself, and that a lesson might have been portrayed for viewers, future contestants, and creators of other reality shows to learn from.  But from the way the reunion episode played out, it seems like nothing really did change.  Rob stands by the way he played.  And that's disappointing.  You see, here's the thing about Survivor.  This is playing off of something I read on Reality News Online.  Someone had written an editorial on that site right after Rupert was voted out of Survivor: Pearl Islands saying that the problem with Survivor is how the good guys never win.  No one who really fights hard and plays nobly makes it to the end.  Well, what disappoints me about Survivor: All Stars is the caliber of the players that made it to the final two.  Survivor: All Stars was supposed to, at least in part, be about seeing who the best of the absolute best are.  And that's not what we saw.  Anyone who believes that Amber really is a better player than Rob Cesternino, Lex, Colby, or, yes, even Richard Hatch, is crazy.  Amber didn't prove her worth.  She latched onto the back of someone who played a game completely outside of the noble confines of morals and decency.  She rode Rob Mariano all the way to the end of the game.  When he had to face the jury, Amber was the only one left standing to hand the million dollars to.  I remember the days of Tina and Colby back in Survivor: The Australian Outback.  They had a holy alliance, and it felt right that one of them won.  But for someone like Amber to take the win, it's really disappointing.  I am happy that Rupert made it to the final four, and if I learned one thing from this season, it's that there was a hot contestant in the first Survivor—Jenna Lewis.

     I say that because I never watched the first Survivor, so I didn't know that and many other things about it.  I have only distant memories of it.  I remember sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner and seeing it on TV in the family room.  Back then, I wasn't really interested in it, but my brother was, and the rest of my family followed loosely behind.  When Survivor: The Australian Outback came around, though, I tuned in, and I was hooked.  Strangely, the rest of my family didn't really care anymore.  It's funny how that happens with a lot of TV shows in my family.  But, anyways, I guess I won't have that problem anymore, because Survivor - The Complete First Season was released on DVD today.  Consequently, I bought it today.  I didn't know that it was going to be released until last Friday morning.  Last Thursday was my last day of high school, and, I guess it was a culmination of all the sleep loss from school and Springz, but I went home and just crashed early that evening.  I fell asleep and didn't wake up until almost 4:00 AM.  Friday was the day of the class trip, and I had to be at school at 7:00 AM, so I killed some time by watching the episode of Survivor: All Stars that I had slept through.  After it was over, there was the usual ads for Survivor buffs, but then there was a new ad.  I couldn't believe it.  It had finally happened.  I pulled the buff I was wearing off my head.  I jumped up into the air.  I ran into the kitchen.  Then I ran outside.  I was ecstatic.  You don't understand how long I had wanted this.  And, after eight seasons and only the first two getting companion DVDs, it seemed like they had no plans at all to release the actual series.  But they did, and now I need only worry about the other seven seasons being released, and how far behind the current season they will be with the DVD releases.  It seems like Friends has closed the gap between the current (or last, as it is) season and the most recent DVD release.  Then again, I don't follow Friends, so I really don't know for sure.  Speaking of Friends, when I was in Best Buy today getting the Survivor DVD set, I saw that the final episode of Friends is already on DVD.  That's pretty amazing since it just aired last week.  The only problem I see with that is the only problem I would have with Survivor—and really anything that I like—being released on DVD too quickly, and that is that the quality would be very poor.  It's not good enough to just have the episodes.  I need commentary.  I need several special features.  In a perfect world, I'd have all the commercials, episode promos, contestant interviews on The Early Show, and every pertinent segment of the Survivor edition of The Early Show from the day after the final episode.  Of course, I also get cranky if there are no animated menus on my DVDs.  All in all, the Survivor set is good.  It has all the episodes, including the reunion, which is good.  It would be really typical of any producers to just leave that out.  In the way of specials, the first and last episodes have audio commentary by Jeff Probst, Gervase, and Rudy.  And that's really a pretty fair deal.  Every episode of The Simpsons has audio commentary on it, and I really feel good knowing that, but I have only watched one episode with it out of the three seasons that I own.  There is also a segment of The Late Show with David Letterman where the contestants did the Survivor-themed Top Ten list, and a short segment of footage taken of the contestants arriving at CBS, flying to Borneo, and leaving the airport there.  And there are animated menus.

     But enough about Survivor.  The job search is not going exceptionally well, but then again, it's not really going at all.  I have JACON the weekend of May 21, and, in a perfect world, I'd have a job lined up to start the Monday after.  But I don't really have any finite plans.  I guess I need to be deciding next week, but right now my options are Blockbuster, Dial America, Belk, and Publix.  I had considered AutoMax, where I heard they were hiring greeters and paying well, but Paul went over there yesterday and had a talk with manager.  It seems that no one from CFCC is really able to handle the schedule, and it's no wonder.  The shifts are from 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM and 12:00 PM to 8:00 PM, and they alternate between those two throughout the week.  But then, the next week, the days switch places.  So, you could work Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM and Tuesday and Thursday from 12:00 PM to 8:00 PM, but then the next week, you would be working Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 12:00 PM to 8:00 PM and Tuesday and Thursday from 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM.  So that's pretty much out the question for when college starts this fall.  I still can't dismiss the idea completely.  I almost want to go ask the guy about any set days off during the week or if a summer-only commitment would work, but both of those seem a little improbable.  I heard about the Belk job a week or two before Springz closed, and the ad I saw in the paper around that time said they were looking for six people.  The ad is since gone, so that opportunity may have passed.  Similarly, Blockbuster may not even be an option.  I would just like to work there.  The Publix job would actually be as a meat cutter.  They have a sign that they are looking for one.  I don't know if that is open to anybody, or if they are looking for an experienced person.  I don't think I would ever work stock or as a grocery bagger or cashier.  My brother did stock and bagging, and I don't really want to be a part of that.  I would only want to work at Publix if I could work in a department, like as a meat cutter.  And then Dial America is my last resort.  I really hope that something good will pop up in the paper next week, or even this week.  I would love to get a job at an office, but I would have to be able to do it part-time during the school year.  I would also like to get a job at the courthouse.  When I went to pay my ticket last week for my wreck, I was very drawn to the shiny floors and well-dressed people walking the hallways.

     I had more that I would talk about, but as I said, it was mostly entertainment-related.  I graduate this Friday at 7:00 PM at OCA.  Anyone is welcome to come.  I will be posting the update that I have long teased about having the title planned for this Friday some time, preferably as close to leaving for graduation as I can get it.  It will be a sad time, but it has to be done.  Oh, and for the OCA people who might happen to read this site some time soon (ha), the yearbooks are supposed to be in tomorrow.  I'll be at OCA on different business, but I'll be dropping by the computer lab and picking mine up.  I'd say that I'll update again before graduation, because I want to, but I know that the chances of that happening are slim to none.  So, until Friday at the latest, keep it...how do you say...real.

     It's really winding down to the end here with school.  Basically, it is a large list of projects, many now completed, that have to be finished before graduation.  There's my resume, college research paper, science project presentation, current events project, and argument essay.  All but the current events and the argument are done and turned in, even if the research paper has to undergo some revision.  In light of the year, and with it all of high school, being over so soon, I had this idea for what this update was going to be.  Nygaard and I were talking about OCA, and he went off on this tirade that sounded a lot like what I've been feeling lately about the people in my life in general.  So I told him that I was going to write an update soon, and it would be very controversial, talking about many of the same things.  This was before the update before this.  But I'm afraid it's not going to be what I thought it was going to be.  You see, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the vehement fault-finding I had set my heart on was really hard to pin down.  I don't exactly want to ask the Guardian of the Province of Ny to repeat what he said because it wouldn't be the same.  I doubt he would even remember anyways, and I know I don't remember.  The more I thought about this situation, I also realized that it's really not worth it.  I'm going to make a dangerous assumption that you can completely understand and relate to the notion of a person harboring two contrary feelings at the same time.  These two feelings are that people are just hopelessly stupid, and that you can't make a blanket statement like that—that each person contains good qualities that can overshadow the bad ones.  In that light, people would not understand the things I would say, and, if they would take anything from what I say, it would be offense.  And, finally, the more time that came between my decision to write an update like this and my getting closer to actually doing it, more and more bad things kept happening, two of which will be discussed later.  

     It was then that I more or less realized that I have bigger problems to worry about than the ones I was going to write an update on.  I say "more or less" because I never actually had the thought cross my mind.  The situations I was put in forced me to focus my attention on things that were more important, and I just ended up at the same place I would have if I had made a conscious decision about that.  And I take the time to clarify this because I want it to be known that I'm not pulling the all too popular "I've got more important things to worry about".  When Nygaard spoke those words that so inspired me, I got the feeling that what he was saying was so true, but no one would give a crap about it because he's been gone for almost a year now.  He's a stranger.  I want it to be known that I realize right now that once I'm out of OCA, most of the credibility of what I wanted to say about the people there will be gone.  I want it to be known that, while these things aren't quite as much at the forefront of my mind as they were, they do still bother me, and I would still write about them if not for the knowledge that anything said would be lost to the quick-tempered readers.  Just thinking about that brings to mind the very attitudes that I wanted point out.  But, I have decided that, for so many reasons, it is better to remain silent in this situation.  Knowing all the things I just mentioned, I still choose not to speak.  So, sorry to those of you who I mentioned a fiery update to.  It's not happening.  At least, not right now.

     But it's a little ironic that this update doesn't carry much good news at all except for the report on the Junior/Senior Banquet.  I'll start with the car wreck.  I got in one.  And it was my fault.  I was going back to school for a detention.  I turned onto SE 38th Street from Lake Weir Avenue, and, at that first left turn, I hit a car stopped in front of me.  I didn't see it in time because I had just looked to the right where there was an old lady in a bright red dress and matching red hat with flowers on it.  She was holding onto one of those old, shopping cart-like walkers.  When I looked back at the road, there was a car stopped in front of me.  I hit the brake, swerved into the other lane, and then, realizing the danger of what I had done (or maybe avoiding an oncoming car, I don't remember), swerved back into my lane.  All this hubbub was for naught, except for maybe preventing a larger amount of damage.  The lady driving the car was very nice.  Her car only had a few scratches and a hole about the size of the thickness of a pen.  My car looked fine.  After we both realized that the other was okay, I asked if she wanted to call the police.  She said yes, that she thought we had to.  I remembered something about it being illegal not to report accidents that caused $500 or more in damage, but I really didn't know for sure if that cleared accidents of less than that much.  So we went to the house in front of where it happened and used the phone.  We then waited for probably thirty minutes, returning to the house once to call again and ask if we could just leave.  The answer, of course, was no.  While waiting, the man who lived there told us that we did not have to call the police, and advised us that if and when either of us get into another wreck, it is often better to just survey the damage and, if it is minimal, part ways.  "I've definitely learned my lesson," the lady said a few times while we stood outside waiting.  I saw two people I knew drive by while standing on the side of the road—a guy I work with, and Nygaard.  Nygaard stopped for a second to make sure all was well.  Eventually the cop finally came and took a look at the damage.  The right side of my front bumper had hit the left side of her back bumper.  As I said, I was in the other lane.  It turns out that the pen-sized hole came from one of the spiky things on my right headlight.  My bumper had receded into the frame of the car on impact, flush with the headlight.  So, I got a ticket and points on my license, and I had to report it to the insurance company, so the bill is going to go up now.  I'm still waiting to hear by how much.  I thought the cop was actually very rude when he was explaining this to me.  He asked who pays the insurance, and when I said I do, he said, "I wouldn't be surprised if I see you driving a moped."  The lady was very nice.  She was worried I was going to get in trouble with my parents, and that I was going to be late for work.  She thought that was where I was headed at first.  It turns out that I was seen by another person I know—Mr. Brown.  He delivered the additional detention I received for skipping the one I was going to when I got in the wreck.  That detention was, of course, repealed.  Moral of the story?  Well, I guess it's pay attention when you drive.  It just sucks because it was such a foolish mistake.  It's not like I wish I had gotten into a bigger wreck if I was going to get into one at all, but that's almost how it feels.  Of course, if it was a big wreck I'm sure I'd be saying, "Why couldn't it just have been a fender bender?"  I guess what I really wish is that, if there had to be a wreck, it wouldn't have been my fault, or that I wouldn't have had to tell the insurance company.  But, such is life, and I guess I'm just going to have to deal with this.

     Now comes the really bad news.  It was the Friday-before-last when I got on WhenToWork, the website used to access the scheduling software that Springz uses to manage the schedule, and found an email with an official-sounding title waiting for me.  "'We're closing,'" I said jokingly to myself.  And that's basically what the email said.  I never thought that it would close, but I had heard stuff since before I even worked there, and I had at least pondered the potential situation.  I never grasped what it really was going to be like, though.  In short, it was devastating.  Springz was and is my first job, but I feel like I can say without ever having worked anywhere else that Springz has been the best job.  There are so many things I want to say about this, and I will.  May 2, 2004 is the last day of operation.  May 3, there is a final employee party like the ones we have had in the past.  I will post an entirely Springz-related update on May 3 covering the things that I am wanting to say right now.  Until then, come on in.  Climb the rock wall, play Stunnerz, ride the go-karts, and do whatever else you like to do, because it's not closed yet.

     The Junior/Senior banquet was this past Thursday.  I got a tuxedo with tails and a red vest to look like Christian from Moulin Rouge.  Overall, I think it was a pretty decent match.  The banquet was held at Disney, sort of.  We were told for a long time that it was going to be at Bonnet Creek.  I didn't know what that was, but we were also told it would be at a golf resort, so I assumed that was what Bonnet Creek was.  Jer had tipped me off a week or so before that Bonnet Creek is a construction site right now, and he was right.  When we got there, the entrance was built, but as well as I could see while driving (since I don't look away from the road too much anymore), there was nothing but a bunch of land-clearing vehicles beyond it.  That wasn't a problem, though, because I knew that from Jer, Mrs. Lovelady, and my good friend the internet before I ever got there.  What was a problem was actually getting there.  The directions that an unnamed Hughes middle child provided for the attendees were completely wrong.  Well, wrong enough.  They didn't even mention I-4, which I believe is the best was to get to Disney.  They mentioned 535, a road I had never heard of, but saw an exit for just before the Ocoee exit.  This was one of the exits that they have built since I have moved from Orlando, and I had never taken it before.  I think it is part of the exits that go to something called a beltway, which I believe is a highway surrounding Orlando.  But the exit I took to 535 took me to Winter Garden Vineland Road.  This was all too reminiscent of the MegaCon adventures, how I would see a sign for a road whose name I had heard a thousand times growing up, but that didn't help me find my way one bit.  Luckily, Nygaard, who was riding with me, had Jessica's phone number, and Mrs. Lovelady was there to talk to me.  She told me to get on I-4, and, having some experience with this (see "A Guardian Angel and the Devil's Own Luck"), I felt fairly certain that I could do this.  But from there, it would be all following signs until I got to Disney, since I had never driven there myself.  She assured me that if I could get to Disney, I would be in the right place.  And, surprisingly enough, I did get to I-4 and to Disney with no problems.  My after-the-fact deductions from the MegaCon trip were right—that I needed to just stay on the first exit for I-4 to get on it going west, instead of exiting again which put me on it going east.  It turns out that this is what Meghan and Carty with Ricky following them did.  And I think that they got off at the same exit that I did when I made this mistake on the MegaCon trip.  

     After getting to Disney, I had to make a decision as to which direction to take.  Mrs. Lovelady told me that the actual place I was going was not Bonnet Creek, but Eagle Ridge.  I first went right, passing by Downtown Disney and Pleasure Island.  After that direction revealed itself to be unfruitful, I backtracked and went left.  That direction had nothing, but we did see a few signs for Eagle Pines and Osprey Ridge.  This frightened us as we did not know which one had been mistakenly called "Eagle Ridge", and assumed that this long journey would probably end in the same manner of confusing and time-consuming trial and error that it had been, only on foot.  After left yielded no results either, I returned to the intersection and went the direction that was originally straight.  We saw more Eagle Ridge and Osprey Pines signs, which we followed and, much to our delight, found an entrance marked both Eagle Ridge and Osprey Pines.  We came to a parking lot where we saw Riley, Jer, Angie, and others standing at their cars.  We were in the right place, but now I had to make sure that Winkey was doing okay.  I called him when he was off of I-4 at Orange Blossom Trail and told him all the information I had on how to get there.  They made it eventually, and so did everyone else.  I was worried that some people were just going to give up and go home, not knowing that they had to take I-4.  Apparently, though, Katie took some incarnation of 535 that eluded us and got there, but not without problems of her own.  Nygaard and I did beat the bus that was taking the people who didn't want/weren't allowed to drive there, and they knew where they were going, so I guess that's something to be proud of.

     The banquet was rather straightforward.  The food was good, and I especially liked the inclusion of raspberries on the fruit tray.  After the food, we listened to an OCA alumnus speak for a short time.  We played a game after that in which the guys were blindfolded and had to feel the faces of the girls to find their date.  In the spirit of Communism, I was assigned a date in the form of Katie since I did not have a date of my own.  I'm not sure who the first person I touched was, but Katie was the second.  I identified her correctly after she gasped when I examined the inside of her mouth with my thumb.  After this, they crowned (or sceptered, as it was) the king, who turned out to be me.  Sarah was the queen.  The banquet adjourned not long after, and Winkey, who was riding home with me, saw Meghan off on her journey to her brother's place and hopped on board the station wagon.  Everyone wanted to go to Downtown Disney, but no one knew how to get there.  Having passed it earlier, I volunteered to lead the whole pack of us there.  I did not anticipate, though, that at night, I would have trouble finding which road was the one I had originally turned off of.  So I ended up leading us down the wrong road, but Winkey kept saying that he was pretty sure this road would come out at Downtown Disney anyways.  Directionally, it made sense, so I continued leading, and it went off without a hitch.  It was funny that everyone thought I knew where I was going, but inside my car, I was saying to Carty, "Dude, this is definitely wrong.  I don't know where we are."

     We got to Downtown Disney and went to the Virgin Megastore.  I told everyone that they should not buy anything there because it is all horribly overpriced.  And I'm not talking about fast-food overpriced or regular music store overpriced.  Pretty much everything in this store is $10 over the normal price, and it's usually more than that over the internet price.  I found it especially insulting that Beyond Good and Evil, a game that was reduced to $19.99 shortly after it's release late last year, was being sold for $49.99.  This was ridiculous considering the context of these prices.  For the uninformed, $49.99 is the standard price of a new game or a game that has just simply not had a price drop.  Usually if a game sells well, the price is reduced to $39.99, and eventually to $19.99 (it may or may not stop at the $29.99 mark first).  Beyond Good and Evil was dropped not because it was popular and sold well, but because it sold poorly and the producers wanted to entice people to buy it.  In a classic example of why not to shop at the Virgin Megastore, they simply ignored the drop and kept the standard price.

     After we kindly waited for everyone to get situated in the parking lot, the group turned around and left Carty, Nygaard, and myself on the second floor of the Virgin Megastore.  We met up with them shortly afterwards, and checked out a magic shop and a sunglasses shop.  We had originally planned to see a movie, but Winkey, Nygaard, and I did not see anything enticing on the marquis, and I guess the rest of the group forgot about it.  Sarah and her date made a guest appearance, as did Lindy and her date at some point earlier.  Katie wanted to go to some "Boardwalk Hotel" place that she heard about, so she got more information and volunteered to lead us.  She and Ashley, who I was behind, drive in the style of a stereotypical teenager, so I lost them on account of a bus in my way.  I was very low on gas, so we stopped at a Hess station just off the Disney thoroughfare.  Ricky had gotten Katie on her cell phone, and the "Boardwalk Hotel" was actually the Disney Boardwalk, so we went over there.  I got my I.D. checked at the gate, and we parked and walked towards a hotel that we thought was the Yacht Club.  We thought that we were going to have to walk through the Yacht Club to get to the Boardwalk, and since it was nearing midnight, we anticipated any problems that we might encounter and decided that we would just walk in and act confident, like we belonged there.  The trip to the Yacht Club and the Boardwalk that I took with the Seay family predates this website, but it was basically like the ones to Destin and the Grand Cypress (see "What the Heck" and "Saf Ty Ru", respectively).  This one was memorable, like all of them, and I had not been back to the Boardwalk since then, so I was very happy to be walking in memories from the summer before tenth grade.  We did not have to cut through the Yacht Club after all.  As we were entering the Boardwalk, we heard Katie yell to us.  She was unsatisfied with the Boardwalk and was leaving.  Some new familiar faces had joined up with her posse, but the only one I remember is Lindsay.  I thanked her for the nice banquet, and bid Katherine a safe ride home.  I had some reminiscing to do.  So Carty, Ricky, Nygaard, and I walked around the Boardwalk.  I had my camera with me, and it was too good of an opportunity to pass up.  I had Ricky take some pictures of Winkey and me in various memorable locations.  There's one of us in front of the candy shop where I remember him going crazy about the Wonka bars they sold there.  All the rest are at the Yacht Club, which was actually on the opposite side of the Boardwalk from where we entered.  The Yacht Club has an amazing network of pools with a mild current running through them and synthetic sand on the bottoms.  We saw the window to the restaurant where we ate with friends of his family, and where we both remember Carty's hand hurting him.  It was broken at the time, and we went downstairs, got some scissors from the front desk, and I cut the cast off back in the room.  His hand was throbbing, but it was the price of fun.  I got Ricky to take a picture of us with a small waterfall in the background.  I took a picture of Winkey out on a rock over one section of the pool, and he took one of me standing on another rock over another part of the pool, where we think that we first saw those hot Korean girls.  I wanted to go to the regular pool that we swam in the last night of that trip.  This pool was away from the others.  There was nothing special about it.  No sand, no current.  Just a square pool.  But the Korean girls were there, and, little boys that we were and are, we plotted to flirt with them.  Carty's family went back to the hotel room, and his dad, knowing full well what was going on in our fifteen-year-old minds, let us stay.  The culmination of all the plotting was something like "Hi," on Carty's part as we sat in the hot tub and one of them walked up from the pool to get something from her purse.  But, we never did go to that pool on this night.  That's fine, though.  There was something quite magical about being back in a place that I have just barely hazy memories of, from a time when I was expecting the best from the next school year and found nothing less.  It felt great walking by the lounge chairs where I can remember leaving my clothes before spending the whole day in the pool, only this time wearing a tuxedo.

     We did all this to the bewilderment of Ricky and Nygaard.  Ricky didn't know what was going on, and Nygaard was on the phone the entire time, though he did express his amazement at the pool and began planning his honeymoon right then and there.  That's okay.  I've done the same thing.  We got back in the car and headed home.  We ended up in the entrance to the Epcot parking lot, but soon after, made it back to I-4.  My car was having problems, so I couldn't drive too fast without putting everyone at discomfort.  As soon as I had led Ricky to the Turnpike, he smoked us.  We talked about a great many deep things on the way home, from dating relationships to jobs to parenting, and Nygaard was sacked out about halfway through.  In fact, we all got kind of quiet about halfway through, and I got sick.  I was already sick, but I lost my voice on the ride home.  I went all the way to the S.R. 200 exit in Ocala, had Carty showed me where Dial America Marketing is, as I may be applying there soon, and I dropped him off at his apartment.  I took Nygaard home and returned home myself.  It was about 2:30 AM when I got in, and it had been a great night.

     So after writing this, I'm taken back to that night not a whole week ago yet.  I remember in the parking lot of the gas station, Carty looked at me and said "You need a girlfriend to enjoy all this stuff with."  And for some reason, I agreed with him.  After all the effort I have put into enjoying things without one, and after all the times that I have said that there should be so much more to it than just finding a girl and asking her out, it's hard not to agree in a time and place like that of the events after Junior/Senior.  It's hard not to want to just find someone to have something simple with.  Ironically, simple is the perfect kind of relationship to me, but I feel that I have to make some distinction between simple and shallow, or I'm doomed to suffer the latter.  Maybe the truth is that simple is just simple.  This doesn't help the problem of not having anyone available to me, but I can dream.  And dreams are what have brought on everything good in my life.  I can't get caught up in this stuff, but I can dream.

     I can't believe it has taken me this long to update again.  I'm getting even worse about updating.  It's not like I'm so busy that I can't update, or that I don't have anything to talk about, but I guess it's just getting around to actually writing the update that is holding me back.  It's spring break, though, and thank goodness for that.  I have some time to update, and I have plenty to talk about.

     The first thing, and this is really testament to how long it takes me to put anything on this site, is Big Fish.  I wanted to see this movie from the moment I saw a preview for it on The Early Show's holiday movie preview.  I don't deny that this is entirely because it has Ewan McGregor in it.  So, back in January, Nygaard and I went to see it, and I loved it.  Granted, I wanted to like it, and when you go to see a movie that you want to like, you end up giving it a lot of leeway and usually liking it no matter what it's really like.  I think Big Fish was good, though, regardless of any preconceptions I had.  The story is basically about a guy that has told tall tales his whole life.  He is lying on his death bed telling them one last time to his daughter-in-law, who he has just me.  Ewan McGregor plays a younger version of the character in all the flashbacks.  The stories were charming, but I think what made the movie appeal to me the most was the way that certain aspects of the story are presented without words.  While you watch the stories play out on-screen, you have to think about how they would be worded.  When something absolutely absurd happens, you have to think about this old guy saying these things like they really did happen.  There's more to the plot than just that, but in a word, it was great.  It comes highly recommended as soon as it shows up on DVD.

     I've been watching the new show on Fox called Wonderfalls.  I can't decide yet if I like it or not.  It's good, but I'm almost positive that it won't make it past this season.  First of all, it aired in spring (like That '80s Show, which apparently only I liked), and that's a sure sign that the network doesn't have high hopes for it to begin with.  But, Wonderfalls is fatally flawed in that it's not quite weird and it's not quite serious.  It's stuck between the two, and, maybe as a result, maybe not, it's got a dime-a-dozen feel to it.  While the story of souvenirs talking to a girl to help her out is new, the basic story elements are a little stale.  When the basic information about the show's characters was introduced in the first episode, it was like it was surrounded by red flags.  I think one of the keys to making a great story of any kind, but especially a TV show or a movie, is to lay down the groundwork for the characters in such a way that you don't blatantly see it.  You see it for what it is, but not as it is, if that makes sense.  In other TV news, The O.C. is awesome, and I've been wanting to say that on here since I started watching it this summer.  I saw a commercial the other day that said there were only six episodes left.  I hope in a way that they don't put some big twist into the season finale, because that just creates too much obligation for the story of the second season.  If there is no second season, that's even worse, because then you are left hanging.  I do hope that The O.C. gets another season, and I'm fairly confident that it will unless they pull another Dark Angel (cancelled because the fan base was big but not big enough to justify the high production budget that the plot was starting to demand).  At any rate, even if The O.C. ended this season, it screams DVD release, and that makes me happy.  Also, Arrested Development is great.  Ron Howard's quasi-intellectual voice as the narrator and the irony-based humor is hilarious.  I watch too much TV.

     I am feeling sort of regretful about the MegaCon update.  I waited so long for RisingSun.net to have the pictures posted before I wrote it.  That way, I could look at the site and post links to pictures of anything or anyone that I mentioned.  I'm going to go back and put links in that update wherever I can, but I don't want to go back and add more in the way of writing to an already finished update.  Well, Maboroshi, the guy who takes all the pictures and runs the site, had some problems with it right after MegaCon.  I waited and waited, and I even emailed him.  He replied and said that the site would be back in just a few days, but I decided not to wait.  I almost feel now like I really should have waited until Maboroshi's site was up again to write my update.  I wanted to mention things like when I ran into a group with the guy with the weird shoes on my way back from the car just before Cyberia.  I asked if they were headed to the dance party, and I thought that mentioning this would capture the essence of how big and hyped of an event this was for the anime crowd at MegaCon.  I wanted to mention sharing my glowsticks with a girl dressed as Yuna.  I wanted to mention coincidentally seeing a guy that is at Springz a lot when I looked out across the circle of dancers.  But I guess that it's okay, because now I've inadvertently said all those things that I wanted to say.  

     RisingSun.net is a cool place to check out, though, regardless of its usefulness for me as a visual aid when I talk about conventions.  If you are wondering just what the heck I'm talking about when I talk about conventions, I'd really encourage you to take a look at RisingSun.net, especially those of you who I am trying to get to go with me to JACON 2004.  As much as I need you, I don't want you to get there and be bored/freaked out.  Also, you can see pictures of me at Cyberia to go along with what I wrote about it in the MegaCon update.  The pictures from Cyberia all look really bright, but it was very dark in there, so don't be mislead.  I think that Maboroshi just has a really nice camera with a high-quality flash, because it looks more like the lights were turned on than it does a camera flash.  After seeing those pictures, though, I have to say that many of those girls looked better under the dim lighting of the dance floor.  Oh well.  What can I say?  I always was a sucker for girls dressed as scantily-clad anime characters.

     I have one last thing to cover, and that is Survivor: All Stars.  I remember feeling so excited about it, and I even wrote about it here, saying that the perfect location had been chosen for the perfect edition of this perfect game.  I still feel like that's true, but I think that having seen all these people once before makes this edition of the game a little more commonplace.  I thought that my reaction throughout the season while watching would be "Whoa, these people are playing Survivor again!"  But it's more like "Oh, there's the old castaways, doing what they do best—playing Survivor."  It was hard to watch the winners get voted out, especially Tina who bit the bullet at the first Tribal Council for no other reason than that she was a winner.  Richard wasn't so hard to watch leave.  I'm kind of ticked that Rob Mariano is thriving so much.  I seem to remember that even in the Marquesas where he was just as much of an arrogant jerk, he didn't get voted out as soon as he should have, but people noticed his behavior.  Now, in the Pearl Islands, he seems to rule the roost to the delight of his tribemates.  I like Rupert, and I'm pulling for him, so naturally I'm going to get ticked when I hear the other castaways talk bad about him, but I'm reminded of one particular instance where Boston Rob really showed his testosterone-driven stupidity.  After Chapera won the reward challenge, they got to take three items from Mogo Mogo.  One was a Hawaiian sling, a fishing spear that you can cock and fire via a stretchy armband.  This was Rupert's trademark in Survivor: Pearl Islands, so he took it out the first morning he had it and brought back some fish.  Not missing an opportunity to put someone else down, Rob sat on the shore with Tom and made cracks about the way Rupert looked.  When he got back with the fish, Rob took the sling out and caught more fish.  In an interview afterwards, he said that Rupert didn't have anything on him now and that there was less reason to keep him in the game.  Now, think about that.  Rupert poses no threat to him anymore, so let's vote him out?  It has nothing to do with threats or usefulness, and everything to do with Rob's hyperinflated sense of superiority that he feels he has to defend.  Don't get me wrong, Survivor is all about doing what you have to do to keep yourself on top.  But there's a difference between playing like Rob Mariano does and playing like, say, Rob Cesternino did in Survivor: Amazon.  Rob Cesternino lied and backstabbed in order to get ahead, and it got him really far in the game.  Rob Mariano goes for whoever he doesn't like.  Apparently that is Rupert, because he "looks like Grisly Adams" and decided to go fishing one day.  Oh well.  The problem with Survivor is that it's just not just.  The people who really deserve to win often aren't the ones who do.  I guess there's something to be said for those who can play the game in the most arrogant way possible and make it to the end, but I just can't forget about the righteous alliance that Tina and Colby had, bringing them to the final two in Australia, or Ethan from Africa who quietly and dignifiedly worked his way to the final Tribal Council and won the million dollars.  If I didn't see those people win in those ways before I watched Jenna skid backwards with her eyes shut into the victor's seat for Survivor: Amazon, or Sandra's "Yeah, make's sense" win on Survivor: Pearl Islands, I don't think I would have ever gotten into Survivor.  And the Rob and Amber thing bothers me.  Jeff Probst said in an interview that I think I saw on The Early Show that one of the reasons Amber was chosen as a contest on Survivor: All Stars was that she had grown and changed since Survivor: The Australian Outback.  I think she was just shy back then, and now she's making it exceedingly obvious that she has the depth of a rain puddle.  ...A shallow one.  That shot of her looking at Rob building the shelter and being turned on by it was too much.  It was so fitting.  Man picks up tool.  Man hits object with tool.  Woman is attracted to man.  For a romantic relationship to be kicked off by something that basal, that primitive—it's just retarded.  And I know that Rob and Amber probably are not involved with each other now that the game is over, but I think the issue goes deeper for me, that a lot of women in the real world would have reacted the same way.  But that's a rant on the debasement of humanity, and this a rant on Survivor.

     Well, that's about it.  I had planned to talk about work, too, but this update is long enough.  I'd make some kind of promise about another new update in the near future, but...you know...

Foreword:

The MegaCon update is finally up.  But before you read, realize a few things.  It's ridiculously long.  I started writing this the week after MegaCon, and I didn't finish and actually post it until a week later.  So when I make reference to time, know that it's talking about the weekend of 3-05-04 - 3-07-04.  I went into great detail about stuff that doesn't need to be detailed.  That's because I didn't really write this for anyone but myself.  You'll probably laugh at my naivety and my mishaps while driving, and maybe you'll find it interesting to hear a first-hand account of all the things I saw and did, but realize that I wrote this more for me than for anyone else.  I wanted to write about it for the fun of it, but also to express my feelings of nostalgia about the whole thing.  And, if you can believe it, this convention-related update does get pretty nostalgic, and even emotional towards the end.  Not like tear-shedding emotional, but like, how it makes me feel inside emotional.  So, with all that said, read if you will, but know that I don't really expect anyone to read it entirely or to give me a rave review on it.

     If I needed anything after these past months and the twisted and frustrating events therein, it was an escape to an element of my past that would put me back to a place before it all started.  And if I sound like Max Payne...good.  I got such an escape this past weekend with a trip to MegaCon 2004.  As stated, the last time I went to MegaCon was before the events occurred that started a chain reaction to eventually lead me to the state of things now, which isn't altogether bad.  But it was nice to return to a time before all that, namely 2001, when I was younger, more impressionable, and perhaps most importantly, had just discovered FLCL.

     For those not familiar with MegaCon, or the concept of an anime and/or sci-fi convention, I'll briefly explain:  MegaCon is the second-largest sci-fi convention in the Southeast.  Since some if not most forms of anime fall under the sci-fi category, it is largely focused on anime as well as sci-fi.  The basic procedure to the convention is that one of the halls of the convention center contains many, many vendors.  They sell pretty much anything related to sci-fi and anime.  You have to pay to go into this room.  Aside from being where the autograph tables and the small section for playing video games is located, there's basically nothing to do there but spend more money, which is why I did not get a three day admission ($40!) and opted instead only for a one-day admission ($18, still steep) and did all of my shopping then.  Outside the vendor room, though, are all sorts of happenings.  Two Orlando anime clubs, Jaco and Anime Sushi, have rooms in which they are constantly showing anime.  This is usually, or at least was this year and in 2001, the newest stuff from Japan that will be out in the States in the next few years.  It's a great way to see series that have been translated lovingly by the fans before they get an official translation for US release.  Other rooms include panels, workshops, Q&A's with the famous people who sign autographs in the vendor rooms, and so forth.  That is roughly the idea of a convention of this sort.

     I took off from school on Friday, though I didn't leave for Orlando until after school was out.  I took a long time loading the car and getting myself ready, even after the preparations I had made the night before.  I had some directions from MapQuest, and just to be safe, I went over them with my parents.  Given my self-diagnosed ADD, that was only of so much help.  I swung by the bank for some cash, fueled up at an onramp gas station, and, soon enough, I was jetting down to Orlando via I-75.  If this trip was nothing else, it was a learning experience...

     Now, I've been to this city more times than I could ever count.  I used to live there.  But I only really knew how to get from the interstate to my grandparents' houses.  So, naturally, I ran into some problems.  MapQuest can only give you so accurate of directions, but more of a problem is how vague the directions can be.  Sure, they tell you which exit to get off on, but that doesn't really help me see the road signs or interpret them correctly while driving.  So when I got off of the Turnpike onto I-4, I accidentally exited again onto the I-4 East exit.  So I was going completely the wrong direction, not even sure if I was on the right road.  I went past a lot of exits before getting off to turn around, mostly because I wasn't sure if the road signs were indicating that they were exits for another highway rather than an exit into the city.  So I found one that I was sure was an exit off the interstate altogether, got off, turned around, found the onramp to get on I-4 West, and was back on track.  It was a little while, though, before I realized that I was in fact already back on track.  So I found my exit after a good while of driving, and was on Sand Lake Road.  I knew all these road names—Sand Lake Road, International Drive, I-4, Orange Blossom Trail, Kirkman Road—but I had no working knowledge of them, so I was still shooting in the dark.  But, with MapQuest as my guide, I made it successfully to the convention center around 4:00 PM, which was considerably later than I had planned.

     The first day (or night, as it was) of the convention was fairly good.  I made it in time for the Megatokyo panel, featuring Fred Gallagher, the author and artist of Megatokyo and the real-life inspiration for the character Piro.  I have read a wee bit of Megatokyo, and it's good, but it's just another thing to get into, and I haven't had the motivation to use my time to do so.  So I was a little bit lost throughout the whole thing.  I did learn something interesting, though.  Unless he was just pulling our collective leg, Fred said that soon, Largo, the second main character of Megatokyo (as I understand—again, I really don't read the comic) is going to die soon by stepping out in the road in front of a bus.  The way he talked about it, it seemed like Largo is sort of a hindrance to the series now, and none of the fans seemed all too sad at the idea of him being gone.  I was never much interested in Largo myself, as he seems to provide more of a mischievous comic relief, while Piro provides the substance for the story.  But that was interesting to see the creators of something that I had at least had minimal experience with.

     Next, I watched some anime.  I saw a little bit, as in less than a full episode, of Full Metal Alchemist in the Jaco room.  I went over to the Anime Sushi room, which was set up with a very cool green lighting scheme on either side of the screen, and saw the end of Daft Punk's Interstella5555 videos, an episode of Read or Dream, and an episode of Ghost in the Shell: SAC 2nd GIG.  What I really wanted to see at this convention, though, was a good new anime movie.  Jaco was showing a movie that started at 7:30 PM, so I went and saw it.  It was very reminiscent of watching Jin-Roh back in 2001 on that first night of the con, when everything had sort of settled down and those of us still around were settled in for a good movie.  The movie was Wonderful Days.  It was about the world in the twenty-second century, in which there is always rain.  The people think that the sky being blue is just a myth.  It's basically a story about two people who knew each other as children, but are now enemies because of their conflicting military associations.

     After the movie, I left the convention center.  I had MapQuest directions on how to get to my grandparents' house as well, but, again, they can only do so much for you.  I had asked my dad to explain it to me in more detail, and he said that I just had to take International to Kirkman, and Kirkman to West Colonial.  Since I used to live about five minutes from West Colonial, I was very familiar with that area and could easily get to my grandparents' house if I could get there.  So I basically disregarded the MapQuest directions, which instructed me to get back onto I-4 and exit at Kirkman Road.  One thing I learned about directions from this trip is that they can be incredibly easy, and they still don't give you a sense of security if you are not familiar with the area you are in.  I drove and drove on International Drive, which at this time on a Friday night was packed, and I was convinced that I was just heading in the completely wrong direction.  So I saw a sign for I-4.  I had learned from my experience earlier in the day that I-4, at some point, intersects with the Turnpike, so I decided that I could take I-4 to the Turnpike, find an exit I recognized, and use it to get where I was going.

     Now, another thing I learned is that people are unfriendly, obnoxious, apathetic, impersonal, unhelpful, or any combination of these things.  My dad had graciously given me his SunPass to use on my trip so that I could avoid the tolls.  He has just been transferred back to Ocala after more than two years of working full-time and living part-time in Orlando, so he had some money left in his SunPass account, and it only seemed right for me to use it.  I did notice, though, that the screen was blank on the SunPass, and I didn't really know if it was supposed to display anything in an idle state.  So I decided to play it safe and go through a regular toll both on the Turnpike.  While the attendant was giving me my change, I held up my SunPass and said, "I've got one of these, but there's nothing on the screen.  Is it working?"  And he replied, rather curtly, "This is not a SunPass lane."  Okay, honest mistake.  I wasn't really clear.  "I know," I said, "I just wanted to know if it works before I try to use it.  The screen is blank."  "They don't work on this lane.  This is not a SunPass lane.  You have to go through that one over there," he said, counting out my change.  I gave up after the second try.  As he handed me my change, he said, "If you go through a SunPass lane, it will work, assuming you have money in your account."  So my question was not really answered in the most assuring way, but remembering that conversation as I was now about to go through a toll booth to get onto I-4, I decided to make use of the SunPass.  I put it on my dashboard, slowed to the regulatory twenty-five miles per hour (they get testy if you go faster), and went through the toll booth.  No beep.  No nothing.  I put on the brakes, put it in reverse, and went back.  There was a car behind me now, so I couldn't get back all the way.  The attendant hadn't even noticed I hadn't driven off.  She was just looking at the other car, waiting for it to pull up.  I held my SunPass out the window and yelled to her.  She looked back, mumbled something, and looked at the next car again.  I yelled back again, and again she turned around, and said something that was either "It worked," or "It didn't work."  She turned back toward the next car again.  I yelled back asking for clarification, and this time I heard her say, "It didn't work."  Then she turned her back to me again.  I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere like this, so I actually put the car in park and got out.  I went up to the window and told her I'd pay the money.  "It's too late.  I already put it in that you didn't pay," she said.  By now I knew I was holding up traffic, so I just said "Okay," went back to the car, and drove off.  I'm now expecting a ticket in the mail.  I don't know how things like this work, but I do know that at the very least, the security camera that would be used to get my license plate number would show me stopping, backing up, holding a SunPass out the window, getting out of the car, taking my wallet out of my pocket, and talking to the attendant before returning to the car and driving away—not exactly the behavior of a flagrant toll booth runner.  ...Not that I really expect that to buy me any slack, but it's worth hoping for.  Another lesson learned—SunPasses that appear dead probably are.

     I used my free ride on I-4 to get to the Turnpike and exit in Ocoee, which is the exit I always get off on when visiting relatives in Orlando.  So from there out I was in good shape for getting to my grandparents' house.  I wasn't feeling like the most successful person, though, after having not really known how I ended up where I did, and running a toll booth to boot.  In retrospect, it's actually good that that happened when and where it did.  If I had tried to go through the SunPass lane on the Turnpike, I would have probably run into the swinging baracade that they use to block off those lanes until the SunPass is scanned.  But, I digress.  I was, of course, given a warm welcome and the best of care by my grandparents during my stay.  I was also given some more directions, which were now more applicable after having experienced the area.  It seems that if I had gone through one more traffic light before I decided to get on I-4, I would have arrived at the intersection of International and Kirkman, which was where I needed to be.  I had decided, though, that when I found Kirkman Road, I was just going to turn right and hope that that was the way to my grandparents' house.  I didn't really know which nautical direction left or right was and I had no apparent way of knowing.  It's good that I didn't, though, because I learned from my grandpa that right would have been the wrong direction.

     The next morning, my grandparents told me further how to get to the convention center from their house, and I understood it very well.  My grandpa had one brief word of warning, though: "Now, when you're on Kirkman and you get close to International, don't veer off onto I-4."  Simple enough, considering I had willingly done so the night before and thought I knew the area well enough now to not do so mistakenly.  So I did as they explained.  I took West Colonial, and found the Kirkman intersection, feeling a small sense of victory after finally meeting the road I had heard so much about.  I took Kirkman past all these familar locations—Valencia Community College, that shopping center with the Publix and the burrito restaurant, the entrance to Universal Studios—and soon saw some familiar skyline.  As I approached the bridge that runs over I-4, I found myself involved in this unexpected veering maneuver, and according to a couple of road signs, I was veering towards I-4.  It seemed like Kirkman Road became one big onramp for I-4, with my only choices being I-4 East or I-4 West.  Choosing East because I thought it would send me in a familiar direction, when in fact that would have been West, I found myself again employing my visual assurance technique to make sure that I did not exit onto any other interstates, parkways, or turnpikes instead of into a section of the city that I could turn around in.  I came to the outlet malls that I had visited during my trip to Orlando with the Seay family this past summer, so I knew not only that the next exit would be a viable place to turn around, but also exactly how to do so.  I got off the interstate, the Grand Cypress looming reminiscently in the distance, and turned around in an access road for various restaurants.  I got back on the interstate and, for some crazy reason, decided to try my luck on a different exit than the Kirkman Road one that I had come from.  There was a sign indicating that this exit, which was closer than the Kirkman Road exit, led to the convention center.  I knew from my trip to IAAPA that there are a good deal of road signs leading you to the convention center once you exit the interstate, so I chanced it, and it actually worked.  I ended up at the convention center, now horribly late for The Hollywood Trailer Show which I had planned to arrive just in time for.  I was about to be later, though, because when I arrived at the parking entrance for the west concourse of the convention center, there was a lady directing traffic to the north and south concourse parking lots.  On Friday I had gone to the north and south concourses first, thinking that was where the convention was to be held this year.  They were vacant except for some custodial worker-looking people who gave me intimidating stares as I drove by.  But parking must have been full in the west concourse or something on Saturday, and I had to park all the way in the north parking lot, which a slip of paper that I got with my parking pass said was nearly three-quarters of a mile from the west concourse.  I decided just to walk rather than take a shuttle, but it turned out to be a lot longer than I had thought.  I had to walk the width of the north and south concourses inside the building, then exit the building and walk a catwalk that spanned the length of the north and south concourses, then cross the road via the same catwalk before arriving at the west concourse.  I guess it probably took ten to fifteen minutes to get there, and a shuttle would have been faster.

     Saturday at the convention was the best day, if I had to pick a best day.  Friday is too new, but that has a certain charm; Sunday is depressing because you know you have to go home and the next day brings school.  Saturday is the heart of the convention.  I caught about half of the Hollywood Trailer Show, seeing previews for films that I am highly anticipating like Shrek 2 and Van Helsing, as well as things I had never even heard of like The Polar Express and Raising Helen.  It was almost 12:30 PM when the presentation was over, and while the anime rooms' schedules did look somewhat enticing, I thought this would be the best time to go into the vendor room.  After just a short while of standing in the massive lines to buy tickets, a convention center employee told those of us at the back of the line that there was no wait at a ticket booth outside the convention center.  I went there with a few others, got my pass, and entered the vendor room.

     I tried to take it systematically.  I wanted to start at one corner and work my way up and down the rows, not making any purchases until I had given everything a good look.  On my way to the corner I wanted to start my patrol in, I saw this awesome Final Fantasy VIII wallscroll of Squall and Rinoa's faces, with little snippets of dialogue from their conversations around them.  At the bottom, just above the logo, was the only complete segment, printed brightly as if to draw your attention to it, and, if you had played the game, to the memory of what was being said by the words, "I promise."  I started looking through the wallscrolls for sale to find a duplicate of that display.  Beside me, a mom and dad were helping their son look through the wallscrolls, and I heard them talking about trying to find a Sephiroth wallscroll.  I had just come upon it, and I pointed it out to them.  I kept digging for the FFVIII wallscroll, but I couldn't find it.  I looked up to see the man behind the table rolling it up and handing it to the family beside me that I had just spoken briefly to, but they said "Nevermind," so I jumped at the opportunity.  I had also picked up a scroll of Rinoa for fear that it may be the only one and someone else might gobble it up.  As I was buying these scrolls, the kid who was shopping with his mom and dad asked me, "You like Final Fantasy?"  "Yep," I said.  "I'm working on eight right now."  I was surprised to hear the mom chime in, "Oh, eight's really hard." That's what's cool about conventions.  You get to see and meet people from all different places who are into the things you are.  

     I moved on and continued searching the vendor room pretty hap-hazardly.  I stopped at every booth that I saw that had anime merchandise, which was quite a few, as well as all the ones with t-shirts.  I was hoping that maybe the anime t-shirt market had expanded from Dragon Ball Z and Yu-Gi-Oh, but, alas, no such luck.  I didn't buy from any other vendors, but in fact returned to the first one on my way out and got a FLCL November 2003-2004 calendar that I didn't see on my first visit.  Having spent enough money to make me uncomfortable, especially with the hefty ticket price and expensive convention center cafe meals-to-come in mind, I left the vendor room.  As I was leaving, I saw Roger from work.  I talked to him briefly and then decided I would put my stuff in the car.  This was mostly just to waste time because I didn't want to walk around the vendor room anymore and the anime rooms were closed to set up for Anime Sushi's 5th Annual Costume Contest.  I walked to the car to deposit my goods, but I took a shuttle back to the west concourse.  It still wasn't time for the costume contest, so I wandered the vendor room again, where I met Ryan from work, and, um, stood beside George Lowe (the voice of Space Ghost) for a few seconds.  I was going to get him to sign something, but I didn't want to pay ten dollars for a Space Ghost picture, and I didn't want to be cheap and have him sign something trivial, so I was just going to shake his hand and probably say something silly like, "Hi, love your show."  Ryan said that he had spent a while talking to him, though, and when we walked up, he grabbed him by the shoulders and said, "Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back."  We promptly disobeyed for no particular reason.  I wanted to get some pictures of people with cool costumes that I saw while I was shopping, but none of them seemed to be around now.  I decided to head up and get a seat for the costume contest since I remembered it being pretty popular at AFO2, the last anime convention I had been to.  Now, at MegaCon 2001, the contume contest took up one of the conference rooms, and I and my party had decent seats.  It was quaint.  This time, it took up four of the rooms, the dividers removed to make one large room.  I had to find a seat fast, and I didn't have the best view in the world.  The place was packed by the time the show started.  The club members who ran the event took great care to fill every possible seat, and I'm sure that many of the people lined up outside didn't ever get in to see the show.

     While this was a key part of the convention, I don't really have much to say about it.  It was a costume contest.  It was cool.  End of story.  I do think I want to do this some time, but I don't have any interest in dressing up as a character that would win anything.  There are only two characters that I can see myself dressing up as—Naota from FLCL, and Serge from Chrono Cross.  Neither of those costumes are very extravagant, and unless I can think of a good cosplay routine, I don't think I'd have anything I could do that would stand out.  In that case, why enter the contest?  I may do it one day, though.  I'd like to get a group and do the entire cast of FLCL, but where am I going to find a Haruko or Ninamori?  Surprisingly enough, I think Nygaard would make a decent Amarao if I could get him to spend a few months inside so his hair would turn a couple shades darker...

     After the costume contest, the event leaders announced that they would be setting up for Cyberia, the anime dance party, as soon as the room was clear.  I had been looking forward to this since I read about it on Thursday night, if only because I wanted some pictures of cosplayers united in dance.  I decided to go to the car again to drop off the bag I was carrying with my convention guide and events schedule printout since it would be a little hard to keep up with in Cyberia.  It was also a good waste of time since the vendor room was closed and Jaco's anime room hadn't been set up again yet.  Cyberia was supposed to start at 7:00 PM, and I thought for sure I would be late when I returned at around 7:30 PM, but it seems they were having problems getting set up.  Most everyone was sitting outside in groups, but since I was flying solo, I had no one to talk to.  Luckily, Jaco's room had been set up again while I was gone to the car, so I went in and sat down to watch some anime.  I wasn't really paying attention, but the schedule I am now looking at says that I must have been watching something called Tsukihime.  I was resting more than I was watching, so I have no idea what it was about.  I went outside to check a few times, but they weren't ready.  Then I heard some mild cheering, and I knew it was time.  

     I was among the first groups of people to go it.  It was funny to watch people walk immediately from the door over to a wall and sit down, even though I knew that's what I'd be doing before long.  I took some pictures with the flash off so as not to disturb anyone, and, needless to say, they didn't capture very much in the dim lighting.  All that really shows up are some colored lights and the occasional head or arm that happened to be illuminated by them.  I was very much psyched to hear a remix of "Simple and Clean" from Kingdom Hearts as one of the first songs playing.  Most everyone had glow sticks, and there was something very cool about the dance that went on with them.  I asked where people got them, and I bought two yellow ones, the only colors remaining.  I didn't know how to "activate" them, if you will.  I knew that the smaller ones you snap, but I didn't know about the large ones.  I went back to the table I bought it from and asked, then felt kind of stupid for having to.  

     Now, it's kind of funny how it all worked out.  I came so close to just walking out and going back to my grandparents' house for the night.  I play Pump It Up incessantly, but, come on, I can't dance.  If, however, it weren't for Roger, who graciously showed me how to use my glowsticks, encouraged me, and told me to hang out in his group, I wouldn't have stayed.  It felt so awkward at first, but after just a little while, when I realized that no one was staring or laughing or whatever, I started to get in to it.  If I didn't play Pump It Up, I don't think I would have been able to do it very well at all.  I've learned somewhat how to feel the rhythm of music, because, well, you can't really play the game if you don't.  So I was able to translate that fairly well into glowstick movement and later into dance.  I even met some people on the dance floor—Jessica, who, along with her friend Kayla, wore a cat girl outfit which she said was from Escaflowne, and Meagan, a non-costume wearing con-goer like me.  Eventually, I ended up in the center of the floor where all the people who were actually seriously dancing were.  And I guess since no one threw blunt objects at me, I was doing an okay job.  Cyberia was the highlight of the convention for me, and the highlight of Cyberia was, without a doubt, the remix of the Love Hina theme song.  I know this song.  I love this song.  I've heard it over and over, and so I knew what changes were coming in the beat.  The same would have probably been true of "Simple and Clean", but I wasn't dancing then, so I didn't get to experience that.  I had a great time.  I stayed until the very end at just past 11:00 PM, and when I decided that there were either no shuttles coming or I wouldn't wait any longer for them if there were, I started the long walk back to the car and yelled goodbye to Meagan, who was yelling down to me from the fourth floor balcony.  When I got outside, I somehow had enough energy to run a good portion of the way to my car since I was so sick of that walk after several times going back and forth throughout the day.

     I left the convention center tired, sweaty, but exhilarated.  And I made it back to my grandparents' house the right way, no problems at all!  The next morning, I was planning to go to an event called God's Superheroes.  It was supposed to be a non-denominational church service.  I got there a few minutes late, but no one was there.  There were a guy and a girl sitting on the ground outside the room who looked like they might have been in charge of the potential event, but my guess is that no one showed up.  I thought about going back and asking if it had been moved or something, but instead I just went and caught part of the second presentation of The Hollywood Picture Show up until the point that I had seen on Saturday.

     I then headed over to the anime rooms.  I looked at the Jaco schedule and saw that a movie had just started, and, for some reason, I love the idea of seeing anime movies at a convention more than I do that of seeing a series.  Maybe it's just nostalgia, for I'm sure that now that I've caught a movie on the first night of two conventions, I'll be doing it at every one of them from now on.  But, anyways, the movie was The Cat Returns.  It was about a girl who gets taken to a land inhabited by cats who walk, talk, and do everything like humans.  She saves a cat from being hit by a truck, then watches it stand up on its hind legs, brush itself off, thank her, and run off.  That night, she sees a parade of cats walking like humans coming down her street.  They stop at her door and announce to her that, starting the next day, she will be greatly blessed for saving the cat, who just happened to be the son of the king of the cats.  Madness ensues.  It's a little hard to try and pin down the style of this movie.  It was like Spirited Away with a fraction of the whimsy.  

     After the movie, Jaco hosted an anime music video contest.  I had only been to one of these before, the one at AFO2.  That's where I saw the amazing Love Hina "Teenage Dirtbag" video, which got me crazy about the song and nurtured my growing craze for Love Hina.  There wasn't anything too spectacular at this one.  There was another Love Hina video, this one for "Everything I Do" by Bryan Adams.  Whereas at AFO2 the audience voted for their favorites, the winners were already selected by Jaco before the presentation.  That's good, too, since none of them stood out so much as to make me want to vote it a winner over the others.

     After the contest, I went to Anime Sushi's room and saw some of a series called Nurse Komugi Magikarte.  It was basically a magical girl series, like Sailor Moon, that made fun of itself, like Puni Puni Poemi, though not to anywhere near that extent.  It was a comedy, but the writers probably weren't under the influence of every known narcotic when they wrote the script, as they seem to have been when they wrote Puni Puni Poemi.

     I think I only saw one or two episodes of Nurse Komugi Magikarte before deciding to leave for home.  Ghost in the Shell: SAC was about to start playing in Jaco's room.  Having never seen Ghost in the Shell, and not being bowled over by the episode I saw of Ghost in the Shell: SAC 2nd GIG on Friday night, I decided that I could probably get more enjoyment out of going home early and hanging my wallscrolls.

     So I did just that.  I found Roger and Ryan and bade them farewell, and I made my way out to the car, which was parked in a much closer parking lot today.  Having had experience with it on Friday night, I knew just how to get to I-4, and from there onto the Turnpike.  I also knew not to try using the SunPass.

     I got home around 6:00 PM, and I did regret leaving early.  I looked at the schedule and started to have second thoughts about skipping out on Anime Sushi's showing of Tokyo Godfathers, which I think is a movie, at 4:00 PM.  Either way, though, I had a great time at the convention.  And, as I said, I learned quite a few things.  I learned that I'm afraid of AM radio because the static sounds like distorted alien transmissions.  I learned my way around Orlando, or rather the area between my grandparents' house and International Drive.  I learned how to rave.  I learned that this world is going to eat me alive when I truly get out into it.  And, on a more serious note, I also had something reaffirmed to me that I learned recently, and that is that I don't have anyone to answer to.  Now, of course I still have parents, and there will always be God to answer to, but I'm not talking about that sort of thing.  I'm talking about the social interpretation of the way I live my life.  The feelings of independency expressed in the last update were, in tenth grade, and are now still, contingent upon feeling secure with my life.  It's funny to go to these conventions and watch people who are there for another convention looking at the cosplayers.  They look at each other and make snide remarks.  I'll be the first to say that some of the things people wear are a little weird, and that some of the people at these conventions you can't help but laugh at a little.  But these are people doing something that is very off-the-wall, but is fun to them.  This is an exaggeration of every-day life.  I've seen this same thing happen when people have interests that aren't those of the majority.  For the most part, I have kept my interests a secret at work.  I almost didn't put a reason on the time off request for MegaCon.  But I realized that that's just wrong.  If I think that hiding an aspect of myself is going to get me more friendships or female attention or whatever, any of that wouldn't be worth it, because I had to step on a part of myself to achieve it.  I've learned now that it really doesn't matter if I be who I am, because I don't owe anyone an explanation for it.  I remember feeling like this at the start of summer 2001, just a few months after MegaCon 2001.  I remember feeling this way over the summer, at the end of which was AFO2.  And, of course, I felt like this in tenth grade, which me and at least one other person can agree was the perfect year of high school for so many reasons.  I look at the two new wallscrolls in my room, and they make me think of the time just after MegaCon 2001 when my Final Fantasy VII scroll was new, and the time after AFO2 when my prized FLCL scroll was new.  So I guess it's no surprise that my first return to MegaCon since 2001, my first return to any anime convention since AFO2, has me reminiscent of those final months of ninth grade and the summer after it, when everything seemed possible.  And that's really it, that everything seemed possible.  I didn't know what the future held, but I knew that I was going to move on from the sad state that I was in.  I had no clue as to what was coming next, but whatever was going to happen, I knew it would be new, and I purposed to make it be good.  I think that knowing what's coming up may be one of the quickest ways to make life stale.  I'm at a stage in life where you have to know what is coming next with college and work and all of that.  I guess what I want most of all for my life right now is to take a turn into the unknown again.  I know the past can't be brought back, but if the feelings of it can, I'll be happy.  So leave me alone now while I go play Giants: Citizen Kabuto and eat ramen noodles with chopsticks while watching FLCL.

     I was sick this past week, and I'm just now finally feeling better.  I stayed home from school Wednesday, but I never really recovered until about yesterday.  That probably has something to do with the over twelve hours of sleep that I got Friday night.  I wish I had gotten that much last night.  I always work late on Saturday nights, and last night was a really late one.  I got home at 1:50 AM.  There was a bunch of stuff to do at work after closing, and I had to stop for gas on the way home.  I was pumping it up (sorry, had to say it that way) at the twenty-four hour Exxon station on 441 at something like 1:30 AM when I thought I heard a guy call my name from the entrance to the convenience store.  I thought nothing of it until I noticed him walking over to me.  And then I noticed it was Edwin of ninth grade year fame.  I see Edwin a lot at Springz, so it wasn't some big reunion, but it was cool to see someone I know at such an uncanny hour in such an uncanny part of town.  Having a job has reunited me with a lot of people that I never would have guessed I would see again.  Besides Edwin, I have seen four people from my past that I can think of off the top of my head.  One was Joel Ruttenber, and that was cool seeing him.  But the other three I didn't reveal myself to.  They didn't recognize me, and I didn't bring it up.  I don't know why this is exactly, other than I don't really want to know where these people are and what they are doing.  It sounds cold that way, but I just don't want to hear who's moving in with their boyfriend and who's taking what job instead of going to school...as is the style of the time.

     I love Weebl and Bob!  I recently spent a few days on my slow, slow dial-up connection getting myself the rest of the way up to speed with the series.  When I first discovered them, I watched about half of the episodes, starting at the beginning and working my way forward.  Now I am finally current on my Weebl and Bob watching.  My only problem with it is the mechanics of the site.  Most Flash movies have a loading screen and a play button.  That way, you don't see the movie until it's loaded and can play all the way through.  These, however, have no loading screen, and no play button.  I swear, I did see a loading screen during this last Weebl and Bob gorging, but it was on an episode that I clicked by accident.  Since I had skipped one or more episodes by misclicking, I didn't want to watch it, so I went back.  And when I finally got to the most recent episode, it didn't have a loading screen, nor had any of the ones previous.  It was a mirage.  Still, technical annoyances aside, I love these little pie-seeking, poor English-speaking, egg-shaped, British...things.  While the most recent episode was somewhat lacking, there have been some good ones.  Namely, the Final Fantasy VII parody, which is actually drawn quite differently (and much more crudely) than most episodes.  Now that I've seen them all, I'm also getting inside jokes, which makes me feel a sense of accomplishment after all the time I invested.

     I'm counting down the days to Survivor: All Stars.  Well, not literally.  It is getting closer, though, and I am getting more excited.  Tina was quoted as saying that Richard Hatch told her on the red carpet that he was already devising a plan involving her, Ethan, and himself.  Being the respectable publisher of a site of this caliber, I don't bother myself with things like finding actual quotes or listing sources for them.  Still, it was interesting news to my ears, though I hope it doesn't happen.  I'm torn.  I don't want to see old alliances jumped back into, but I don't want to see them broken.  I don't know if I could deal with seeing Tina cast a vote against Colby, or vice-versa.  I feel the same way, albeit to a lesser extent, about seeing the former winners take the walk of shame.  The only one I want to see do that is Rich, partly because I never watched the first season, and partly because of his character.  And while Rob Mariano isn't a former winner, I wish the same on him.  In other Survivor-related news, applications for Survivor 9 are being accepted until January 27.  Every person I know that is over 21 won't apply.  Part of me wants to see somebody I know get on the show, but another part of me wants to save the opportunity for myself.  And Survivor 15 doesn't seem quite so far off anymore.  I don't have much of a clue as to where Survivor 9 will be held.  I always end up finding out from SurvivorMaps a couple of weeks before the reunion episode of the previous season when they show the promo for it.  Though I haven't checked, I'd say they have some kind of idea about it.  I know Madagascar and somewhere else were scouted as locations for Survivor 6 before the Amazon was chosen.  I thought Madagascar would be cool, and in fact, I still do.  But I saw a documentary on this group of islands off the coast of Madagascar that are supposed to be really unique in their plant and animal life.  Since then, I've been suspecting that if Madagascar is a future location for a game of Survivor, it will probably be located there.  Much like Survivor: Thailand, it would end up being Survivor: Some Islands Off the Coast of Madagascar rather than Madagascar.  Not that I am all that fond of or familiar with Madagascar, but I wanted to see inland Madagascar, not another group of islands that just happen to be near Madagascar.  Also, it's fun to keep making you say Madagascar.

     I applied for the Amazon.com Visa card the other day.  I also just got a checking account.  It's a little weird to think about me having a credit card.  When you are growing up, or at least when I was growing up, the term "credit card" was always associated with bad stuff.  It's not that I plan to charge anything that I can't afford, but no matter how you look at it, you're still spending nonexistent money, even if you have the money in the bank to pay for it.  So, if I am not declined, and there's a good chance that I will be, I guess I'll be set to spend, spend, spend at Amazon.com, where I will earn triple the Visa reward points, whatever those do.  In all actuality, I just wanted to get this particular credit card because it had the Amazon.com logo on it.

     And about that checking account...  So far, I've only written one check.  Most of my money is in the bank now.  I honestly don't know how much cash I have on hand now.  There's like $30 and some one's in my dresser drawer, and that's it.  For some reason, I feel incredibly safe, even though gas stations don't take checks and I have yet to receive my ATM/debit card in the mail.  Normally I would be freaking out, but I would also normally be spending a lot more money on needless expenditures, like overpriced, low-quality fast food.  I've had two five's in my wallet for days now, and their still being there is no coincidence with the fact that vending machines don't accept them.  Surprisingly, I have a zen-like serenity about my new minimalist situation towards carrying cash.  When I get the debit card, I assume that I'll start eating into the core, the bank account, before long, doing my share to bring into existence a cashless economy.

     I think I'll go see Peter Pan after school tomorrow.  I want to see it before it leaves the theater.  I remember watching the trailer for it this summer at Carty's house and thinking, "I'll see that the day it comes out."  I'm on a role with seeing good movies, the last of which being Big Fish.  So, here's hoping.  Well, it's time for me to start getting ready for work.  Spoon!

     This Christmas break is almost over.  Tomorrow I go back to school, and I can't say that I'm really looking forward to it.  In retrospect, Christmas was good this year.  So was my birthday.  New Years Day was really uneventful.  I did nothing in the daytime.  Nygaard and I saw Elf that night, which was good for the most part.  On Friday, I met Onew for lunch at Chili's.  Then we went and saw Paycheck.  I had my doubts about it, but it was really good.  The story of Paycheck is based on a book by Phillip K. Dick.  He wrote Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, which the movie Blade Runner was based on.  I never saw all of Blade Runner, but I did actually read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? in its entirety.  That's saying a lot for me.  That was back in ninth grade, so I don't remember too much about it, but it was a very interesting story.  Phillip Dick was also a few peas short of a casserole, which is probably why his works are so interesting.  There's a thin line between genius and insanity, and I think that some people hop back and forth over it.

     I'm listening to the new Dashboard Confessional CD right now.  I don't really like it as much as the other two...  I don't want to judge it so soon, but the music is just so different.  The first two CDs had a very compatible style, but this one is different.  Even still, I think I want to go to a concert if Dashboard Confessional comes back to town.

     Somehow I lost my notes for this update.  There were a lot of them, too.  So I don't really know what I was going to write about.  It probably had something to do with Survivor, which I am eagerly anticipating the next installment of.  I think that Survivor: All Stars is going to be like a celebration of Survivor in its own time.  I think it will be the most monumental game yet.  We already know the castaways and they already know the game, so that's what we're expecting.  Anywho, I really shouldn't have attempted an update, but I didn't want to let it go any longer.  I forwent the New Years Eve update this year.  I had to work, and last year's update brings back a less-than-desirable memory of hours and hours of writing about things that don't seem to matter much now.  So, until next time, whenever that may be...

     Good evening, one and all.  Actually, it's early morning on the big day.  Everyone in my house is still up wrapping presents, except for me and my brother.  We just got done playing some Halo in preparation for the tournament at Springz this coming Monday.  I wanted to do a Christmas update this year because I didn't do one last year.  I've already sent out the Christmas email, and I think it pretty much said it all.

     Christmas Eve was different but good this year.  I worked from 2:30 PM to 6:30 PM and got home not long before the food was ready to be eaten.  That was a lot better than moping around doing nothing all day like past Christmas Eves.  After dinner, I watched the Love Hina Christmas special.  Ahh, I remember the days when Love Hina was new to me.  Time goes by so fast these days, but I won't go down that road tonight.

     I'm going to Orlando tomorrow.  My parents wanted to make use of the extra trunk space, so I'll be taking my own car this year.  Okay, that's as far as I'm going.  I really have nothing to say.  I just wanted to have an update that I could color green and red like the festive Thanksgiving and Halloween updates of years passed.  I have notes for a regular-flavored update, so hopefully I'll use them soon.  I want to do a birthday update on Saturday, as well.  

     Gosh, what a night.  It's currently 5:11 AM as I am beginning to write this, and I've been awake since about 10:15 AM yesterday morning.  I think I'm finally going to pull my first 24-hour stint.  I've stayed up all night before—many times before.  But this will be the first time that I have been conscious for a full twenty-four hours.  

     Ever since Friday when I finished my English exam, one of the only two that I had to take this semester, I have had in mind to get on a nocturnal sleeping schedule for tonight.  A few weeks ago, Katie invited me to join her and some other Springz folk at her house to watch the first two extended edition The Lord of the Rings movies on DVD and then go see the final installment, The Return of the King, tonight.  Accepting the invitation, I went ahead and bought my ticket when Paul so kindly treated me, Carty, Reilly, Jon, and himself to a free showing of The Last Samurai last week.  So, I was determined to get on a schedule of sleep where I could go see the movie and stay up the rest of the night to take my exam the next morning.  On Saturday morning I had to take the ACT, and Sunday morning I had church, so I only had a day or two to get on schedule.  I ended up going to sleep at 4:00 AM on Monday morning.  You would think that I would have slept well into the day, but, as school and work have cursed me with getting up early all the time, my body seems to take very little sleep, even when it has a large appetite for it.  So going to bed late really had the reverse effect, making me fall asleep sooner Monday night/Tuesday morning.  

     Well, as it turned out, Katie and I both had to work a private party tonight.  It was a rather formal affair, and we were part of the wait staff.  Being someone who has taken an interest in the restaurant industry for a while, it was nice to get some experience in that field.  It was also nice to get a tip.  We got off early, but that really didn't give us any time or desire to do much of anything.  Katie called the rest of the party that we were meeting and we headed over to Hollywood 16.  While we had our seats two hours in advance, the time didn't drag at all.  Paul had also gotten a ticket when we saw The Last Samurai, so he was there, and sat with us almost until the show started.  I had downed a few dozen cups of coffee earlier in the day, so I was just a little bit jittery.  

     To the delight of all, the movie started eventually, though it was a little late.  I'll give my quickest review ever of this final chapter of The Lord of the Rings:  Good.  As we walked out, it was halfway raining.  Not just sprinkling, but I mean a steady and thick downpour of needle point-sized water droplets.  Come to think of it, it was probably that phenomenon called "dew", but I've never actually seen it in action, so I wouldn't know.  I drove home down the dark country back roads way (for the second time that day actually; I had gotten my oil changed at Sears that afternoon), and I got home about 4:15 AM.  I looked over my pre-calculus exam notes and through the book, and here I am about thirty minutes away from getting ready to go take it.  

     Today has been a wonderful day for reasons that I didn't mention as well, but I had a great day.  Good friends, good tip, good movie, good caffeine high, good experience.  I've always wanted to stay up all night before a day of school, but I don't think this will count.  I want to go to school one day, stay up all night, and go to school the next day.  I have to just once before I graduate.  Anywho, I hope that math didn't make so much sense because I'm insanely tired.  If I am, I don't know it, because I'm pretty well awake.  Then again, as I was proofreading this, I found the word "spank" right in the middle of the word "semester" in the second paragraph.  I'll get some more coffee before I leave for school today.  In closing, I will try to do a real update some time soon, but tonight was so good and I needed something to do for a while, so I thought I would update.  Have a good day tomorrow.   I'll be asleep for most of it.

-Chris

5:59 PM  12-17-03

     This update is going to be primarily if not entirely about Survivor, so if you don't care or, like some, have an aversion, save yourself the trouble.  I mentioned a while ago that I was in awe at the way Survivor was going.  I said I would wait until the conclusion of the big twist to comment on it.  Well, you know how I am about updating anymore, so I never got around to talking about it.  The twist was the reappearance of all the castaways that had been voted out.  They all returned as a new tribe—the Outcast tribe—but only for one challenge.  I was thinking earlier in the episode that it would be cool if, instead of the tribes merging, they split, taking half of each tribe and making a third tribe.  I wasn't quite there, but I was close.  So, the Outcast tribe actually beat both tribes, which meant that both tribes went to Tribal Council, voted someone out, and later that night, received a new member of the Outcast tribe's choice in that person's place.  It was a monumental episode to begin with, but then Osten did something that incited some never-before-seen reactions out of Jeff.  Osten had tried to quit earlier in the game.  I can understand that to a point, though I don't necessarily sympathize with it.  But when he didn't get his wish granted to him, he seemed to suck it up and cope with the problems.  But now, a few episodes later, he decided to give up again.  That's just weak, and Osten was one of the younger members of the tribe.  He was also quite possibly the most physically fit.  But he gave up, and this time, the other tribe members complied.  So when Tribal Council rolled around, Jeff asked each tribe member individually if they were going to vote for Osten.  When they all answered yes, he said there was no need to vote, and told Osten to bring him his torch.  He didn't say, "The tribe has spoken", but instead told Osten to "go home."  And rather than putting his torch with the other extinguished torches, he laid Osten's on the ground.  There were no final words during the credits, only some shots of the tribe walking away from Tribal Council.  It was a fitting end if you ask me, because Osten was a baby.  He crumbled under less weight than Krista did during the challenge involving the weights attached to their shoulders.  If Lill, Trish, Sandra, and other older, less strong players can manage to deal with the harshness of the game, I think Osten could have, too.

     So Osten left the Morgan tribe, and Sean left the Drake tribe.  The Outcast tribe went to Tribal Council and voted in Lill and Burton.  They returned to the tribes from which they were voted out, but only until the reward challenge.  The tribes merged before the challenge started.  The new tribe is named Balboa, and the buffs are (finally!) black.  They look so sweet, and I can't wait to get one of my own.  I've waited for several things to take place in Survivor.  I've waited for there to be a season in the Amazon, which happened last season.  I've waited for there to be black buffs, and there are finally black buffs.  Now I guess there just has to be a tribe with white buffs, a tribe with royal/navy blue buffs, and a contestant named Chris.  Or maybe I'll be that contestant.  Hmm...  Anywho, I digress.  So the nutty thing about this is that Burton and Lill were both on The Early Show and The Late Show after they got voted out, just as all contestants are when they get voted out.  So they basically played the entire nation into thinking that they were out for good.  I haven't watched last week's episode yet, but as far as I know, both Burton and Lill are still in the game.  They both returned to the jury, meaning that they were both in the most crucial episodes of this season, and they sat up there on national TV and acted their way through an interview.  I like it.  I like it a lot.

     And then there's Jon.  Oh man, I really don't like him.  I always say that I would play Survivor in a pretty devious way.  I don't think it's wrong to lie in Survivor.  No one says it's unethical to bluff in poker.  So what makes Survivor any different?  But when people come along who play the game the way that I always say I would play it, I end up objecting to their style.  I think the differences between my style and strategy and theirs would be that I would value alliances a little more than the people who I have associated with yet disliked.  I would also try to exhibit a different attitude in the deception.  In any case, I would never have done the things Jon has done.  In the typical loved ones reward challenge, Jon's visitor was one of his friends.  Jon asked his friend how his grandmother was doing, and his friend said that she died.  His face got red, and his voice got shrill.  He was so taken back.  All the other contestants let Jon's loved one win the challenge (which consisted of the visitors moving closer and closer to the edge of a plank at the decision of the castaways until they fell off into the ocean).  Sandra was the only one who made Jon's friend take a step towards the edge, causing Jon to curse at her and yell about how his grandmother dieing obviously wasn't important.  Jon's friend got to spend a night with Jon alone at the camp.  The rest of the tribe was given a machete and a box of matches and sent to a barren beach on another island for a night.  When Jon and his friend got back to the island, they rejoiced at the brilliancy of their scam.  Jon said, "My grandmother is at home watching Jerry Springer right now."  They had had it planned that, if Jon's friend was chosen to come to Panama to visit, he would tell Jon that his grandmother died and therefore win the challenge.  I would commend him for thinking that far ahead and knowing enough about people's reactions to know that he would be given the win under those circumstances before he even met the people that he would play the game with.  But that is just low.  I hope that people find out about it before the game is over, but if they don't, I anxiously await the reunion episode when Jon will undoubtedly be called out for it.  I just hope that it doesn't get shrugged off like most incidents do after the game is done.

     Rupert has finally fallen.  I knew that he would get it if he didn't tone it down a little, but he was just too naive.  He had the most honorable attitude about the game, but he was just too forceful.  He was too much of a threat.  Well, Rupert is currently missing.  He was unavailable for an appearance on The Early Show the day after the episode that he was voted out on, but they did show an interview from the Pearl Islands that was taped not long after he was voted out.  Rumor has it that he was unavailable because he is playing Survivor 8.  I whole-heartedly believe that Rupert is in the Pearl Islands right now, playing Survivor again.  I can only hope that he has learned from his mistakes and figured out that being noble isn't always the right thing in Survivor.  There is always someone else who has no problem being a rat.

     And speaking of Survivor All Star, I read some other rumors.  Apparently this one is starting with three tribes, much like my prediction for the anti-merge in Survivor: Pearl Islands.  The buff colors are rumored to be red, blue, and green.  I've also read a roster of the supposed players.  Unfortunately, Rob Mariano from Survivor: Marquesas was listed.  But Tina and Colby from Survivor: The Australian Outback are supposedly there, too, along with Ethan and Tom from Survivor: Africa.  So they more than make up for Rob's presence.  The game is taking place in the Pearl Islands, which at first sounds a little weird.  I mean, they just got done filming in the Pearl Islands, and now they are doing another season there again.  But the more I think about it, the more I like it.  It's as though the series has been paused for this special occasion.  Also, the Pearl Islands fit incredibly well into the Survivor mold.  It's as though they have found the perfect location and are now holding the perfect game of Survivor there.  I think part of me likes it so much simply because it is unexpected, or at least it was unexpected to me.  

     The location is under a huge lockdown.  They are taking this edition of Survivor incredibly seriously.  The contestants were given aliases to travel under, and they were sneaked through customs.  The group of islands where they are filming is now a no-fly zone, and the surrounding waters are also off limits.  Apparently some unrestricted islands are close enough that high-powered binoculars were able to catch a glimpse of the contestants entering the game.  Either way, though, I am severely stoked about this upcoming season of Survivor.  I don't know who I am routing for.  I guess I'll just have to wait and see.  It's going to suck to see some of the winners get voted out, and it's also going to suck to see some of my favorite faces taking the walk of shame again.  It would be sweet if there was more than one winner, but that might take away from the effect of the game.  After all, it is Survivor, not Survivors.

     I don't know who I want to win Survivor: Pearl Islands, either.  I probably would have said Rupert at first, but when you really look at it, he was not the best player.  He might have been the best fisherman, the best at the challenges, and the best at immersing himself in the game, but he was not the best player.  Survivor is not a game about staying alive in a remote location.  The motto is "Outwit, Outplay, Outlast", and I don't think Rupert did all of those things.  That doesn't stop him from being my favorite player of Survivor: Pearl Islands, and it still doesn't stop me from wishing he was still in the game.  I think it's a crime that Savage isn't on the jury, too.  But anywho, Survivor is good right now.  I feel like it's in a renaissance of sorts, and I'm soaking it all up.  It bothers me to think that the finale is coming before Christmas, because Christmas is going to be my time of rest, relaxation, and entertainment.  I will comment more on that in a later update.  But as for now, this very Survivor-ific update is done.

     Evening has fallen on this incredibly short Thanksgiving.  I just got home from work.  Nobody is back from Orlando yet, so it's just me, Bebe, and the cats here.  I would say that I can't believe it has been a year since last Thanksgiving, but I can.  It seems like a long time ago.  I think this is going to have been one of those years where you look back and you have trouble understanding how only a year has passed.  I don't get many of those, but they do happen.  I didn't get any "Let's all be thankful" emails from anybody this year, and the uneventfullness of the day has got me wondering what I am thankful for.  Yeah, I'm thankful for my family, my health, and all the typical blessings.  But forgive me, because I think I'm just going to bypass that.  No one needs to hear about how we should be thankful for those things anymore, because I'm sure most of us have heard it enough, and we are all thankful.  Lately I have a lot of things to be thankful for.  I remember back when I would hope so much for a car, a job, and all the things that come along with them.  Well, I've got them.  And it's great.  Yeah, I had to work on Thanksgiving, and I usually work every Friday and Saturday night.  It seems like I turn down offers to do things with friends very often.  But I am very thankful that I have a job at Springz.  I visit my friends' jobs and see their managers, and it makes me realize how lucky I am that I work under the people I do.  I am thankful that I work there, and I am thankful for my two friends who helped me get a job there.  Something tells me that I wouldn't have ever gotten hired if it weren't for them.  I'm thankful for the new friends I've made there, and I'm thankful for my older ones.  Carty, dude, I don't know what high school would have been like if we didn't end up being friends.  As I've often said, I wouldn't have gotten in as much trouble if I didn't meet you.  But as you've always said, I wouldn't have had as much fun.  I'm thankful for my school.  I am so fortunate to be able to go where I do.  Lately I haven't had the same fondness for it as I have, and even now, I can say that I'm probably ready to leave it.  But whenever I say that, I always have to clarify.  I'm not saying that because I think life will be better outside of school.  I just feel like school has changed so much, and the things I loved aren't the way they used to be.  Still, it's a good place, and I'm especially thankful for the few teachers there who have transcended the mold of hard-nosed disciplinarians and dealt with us as more than just students, but rather as people.  They have almost dealt with us as adults, even though we barely act like it.  

     And speaking of that, I'm thankful for the one month of childhood I have left.  December 27th marks the day that I'll join the lot of you who have crossed over.  I don't want to do it.  I refuse to grow up, but I can't keep from becoming an adult.  I wonder if I will still feel like eating Kid Cuisine meals, or consuming my own weight in candy.  I would assume so.  My parents have always said that I'm "[current age] going on [a far greater age]".  I think I've gotten all the growing up that I am going to do out of the way.  Now I just have lessons to learn, and a life ahead of me to apply them to.  I'm thankful for the things I have, and I know that all of them are mine by no work of my own.  I owe them to my family, my friends, and most of all, God.  The trick now is living it.  I have that one month left to be a kid.  If I'm thankful for it, I'm going use it to the fullest, right?  Somehow, I feel more apt to do that now than I have felt for the past year or more.  I don't know what I need to do to make the best of it, but I want to do whatever it is.  So have some more turkey, and try not to fall into the trap of paying homage to the day by naming your blessings.  Figure out how you can use what you've got, and do it.  Hey, who put this soapbox under me?

     Mmm, chili mac...  Food of the gods.  I had some for dinner tonight.  Today was a long day, but I'm actually not that tired.  I was late for school today.  I would blame it on the spare tire that was on my car, but I left ten minutes late.  Yesterday morning I had a flat tire.  This wasn't the typical flat tire that I have twice or thrice a week and remedy by putting more air in.  This was a completely, totally, dead flat tire.  So my dad and I changed it and I had to ride around on a little doughnut-sized tired.  I can't believe how many people don't know that these things exist.  Everyone at school was amazed by it.  I thought all spare tires were tiny like that.  I know every one of my family's cars have had spares like that.  As I was driving on Maricamp today, some guys drove past looking at my tire and laughing.  Anywho, so today I planned to have it fixed among all the many other things that I needed to do.  I left school at 1:ish, like usual, and went to Springz to pick up my paycheck.  Nygaard was supposed to meet me at OCA to give me back Max Payne and Max Payne 2, but he was a little late.  So about halfway to Springz, I notice the little redhead following me.  When we got there we did some catching up as I played the newly-restored Pump It Up machine.  We took a short trip to Blockbuster, but upon returning, I wanted a drink.  Not wanting to walk in, get a drink, and just walk out, I decided to stop and play some more Pump It Up.  I don't know how that made things any better, seeing as how both the games and the drink cost me nothing, but it did make me feel a little better.

     So I arrived back at OCA twenty minutes late.  Carty, Jon, and Reilly were waiting for me.  We had planned to film a few scenes from our economics video, but we ended up only filming one, a car scene.  Nate, who has yet to make an appearance in the video, was supposed to be in a scene today, but he doesn't get out of school until 3:20.  So, ditching our responsibilities, as we all seem so apt to do, we headed to Jon's brother's house right down the road to play Halo.  Mmm, Halo...  I was accused of being a camper, but I beg to differ.  I move quite a bit when I play Halo.  I just happen to do it without anyone noticing.

     Anywho, so as the day grew even longer, I turned my attention to getting my tired fixed.  I had left the leaking tire at home, which meant that I would have to drive all the way back there to get it if I was to have it fixed today.  I went through Belleview to cash my paycheck (I really need to get direct deposit), and got stuck in some killer traffic.  By this time I needed gas, and it ended up being about 4:30 when I got home.  I turned the car off for all of about fifteen seconds before turning it on again and driving to Baseline tire.  For some reason, they were closed, though their advertised new hours are 7:30 AM - 5:30 PM.  So, fighting the same bad traffic, I went over to Belleview Tire.  I was a little too late.  They closed at 5:00 PM.  The funny thing about those two stores is that Baseline Tire is on 441 in Belleview, quite far from Baseline Road, in fact.  And Belleview Tire is on Baseline Road, not really in Belleview.  But, I digress.  I thought I was going to have to wait until Friday to get the tire fixed, tomorrow being the Day of the Bird and whatnot.  But my dad suggested that I go to the Sears automotive center.  So I packed up and headed out for another long ride, but this time I was actually able to get the tire fixed.  The only reason that I'm not probably still waiting there is that the tire wasn't on my car.  They were understaffed, so people were having to wait huge amounts of time.  But I guess one of the lesser mechanics was able to work on a car-less tire.  So I had to put it back on myself when I got home, but that's probably better than waiting all that time.

     So that was my day.  Busy days seem to be occurring more and more frequently for me.  Last Thursday was the registration day for Spring 2004 dual enrollment.  I signed up for ENC1102.  I saw so many people that I knew that that day.  Well, so many for a public place.  I first saw Hannah, then Sue-L.  Then I saw Katlyn Nolan, who I hadn't seen in years and years.  When she asked what else I had been doing after we had caught up on the basics, I gave her the address to this site and said that it had everything she could possibly want to know about what I have been up to.  And then I saw Greg from Sunday school.  I'm pretty sure I also saw someone I knew in middle school, but I was never quite sure, so I didn't say anything.  Actually, I don't think I would have said anything even if I was sure.

     The day before this, I had the privilege of going to IAAPA (International Association of Amusement Parks and Attractions).  Katie, Jenn, and one of my now-former managers, Jim, rode to Orlando together.  We made it in one piece, despite the fact that Katie was driving.  I had been told that IAAPA was huge.  Absolutely enormous.  And it was that.  But I think that whoever said that to me underestimated my imagination.  I had envisioned it being a lot bigger than it really was.  Still, the convention ran for eight hours, and we barely covered the whole thing in time.  I'd say a good 70% of the booths were nonsense, but things worthy of mention are the steam cleaning booth where we got our jewelry cleaned, the aqua massage booth where we all filled out surveys under our aliases to get free massages, the glowstick popsicle booth, the free candy shop booth, the Andamiro booth where I played Pump It Up Prex 3, the Namco booth because they are Namco, the Sammy booth because...well, because they are Sammy, the big robotic arm, and, of course, the Springz Entertainment Centers, Inc. booth.  There were a lot of food companies there.  Nothing great, but like frozen pizza and snack food companies, and they had samples aplenty.  Coke and Pepsi both had booths there.  I tried Pepsi Twist for the first time, and I asked what ever became of Pepsi Blue.  They didn't know.  Jenn and Katie got airbrush tattoos, had their faces painted, and stopped at nearly every picture booth there was.  They called me a party pooper for not being interested in any of these things.  I would have gotten a tattoo if they had more to choose from than hearts and faeries.  As I alluded to earlier, we all went under aliases.  I was the cafe manager.  The girls went under female manager names.  It was fun to try and play it off as someone who actually knows what they are talking about when someone would approach you and try to give you a sales pitch.  I got a couple of nice pictures from IAAPA, and I'll post them soon enough.  I also got a flier advertising Time Crisis 3 from the Namco booth.  I didn't bring my video camera into the convention center because I didn't want to carry it, but now I sort of wish that I had.  Still, it was a great experience, and I hope IAAPA will be back in Orlando next year.

     As we drove home, Katie mentioned the exit on the Turnpike to her grandmother's cemetery.  I thought for a second and asked if it was the same cemetery that all my relatives are buried in, and, sure enough, it was.  You see, Katie and I both have family in Orlando, and we both go there to visit for almost every holiday.  So I guess it makes a lot of sense that most of our relatives are buried in the same place.  I said maybe we would be buried there one day, but she didn't like that.  Then I said that I know if I were to die right now, I would be buried there.  I think I only freaked them out more.  When I die, I want to die in an exciting way.  Or at least in a non-boring way.  I don't want to go to sleep one night and never wake up.  I want to be poisoned, or blown up, or at the least, shot.  I don't think it's morbid to think about that, either.  You only get to die once, so why not have some kind of preference?

     Tuesday was a big day.  X-2: X-Men United was released on DVD.  Counting Crows' new album, Films about Ghosts: The Best Of was also released.  And, there was an open casting call held at the Grand Cypress in Orlando for an Adam Sandler movie.  Also, I vacuumed out my car on Tuesday, and now it smells like lilac.  I put a bunch of lilac-scented carpet vacuum powder stuff on the floorboard before I vacuumed, and I think I used a little too much.

     I am going to try to update again tomorrow.  I updated on Thanksgiving last year, and it was deep, and meaningful, and good.  I don't see that happening this year.  I'll try to update, but I don't know that I'll be blown away by anything.  I have to work tomorrow, and then I'm coming home to watch TV or something until my family gets home from Orlando with all the leftovers.  They better not skimp...  Anyways, I have so much school stuff to do.  I have an anatomy research paper due on Monday, which wouldn't be so bad except that I have to have fifty notecards turned in along with the paper.  I'm not a notecard person.  Then I have the economics video due on Tuesday, which I'm still not sure on how to edit.  And the Friday after that, I have a rough draft due for my English research paper.  Pre-calculus is hard, and I have a test in there a week from today.  Exams start December 12.  That's really soon.  I'll be so happy when Christmas break gets here.  But enough of my complaining.  Enjoy the food tomorrow, and try to be thankful for something.

     Last week was Spirit Week at OCA.  This year's homecoming didn't seem quite as good as those of years past.  Carty, Kyle, Jer, Meghan, and Sarah were on the homecoming court this year.  Carty and Meghan were the homecoming king and queen.  Since I haven't been going to football games as much this year due to work, they have been a lot harder for me to sit through.  I get so bored.  I left in the third quarter last night to go check my work schedule for this week.  I went back, though, and after the game, I joined a group to go get some food at Steak 'n Shake.  Nygaard and I rode together, talking of great and many things (girls) as usual.  While at Steak 'n Shake, I read a card advertising their pumpkin pie.  It said "Only for a limited time.  But, oh, what a limited time it is."  After asking Jon, Nygaard, Bean, Alyssa, and even the waiter, I still don't understand why that is funny.  The waiter suggested that maybe I just wasn't a funny person, which was even more erroneous than his previous excuse that it was British humor.  Can anyone explain this to me in such a way that I will laugh?  I want to be part of this exclusive club.

     Speaking of an exclusive club, or rather not speaking of one at all, I gave blood on Wednesday.  The Civitan bus came to Springz and was offering twenty special e-tokens to whoever would let them tap into their veins for a pint.  Longtime readers will remember the update called "Leave My Sister Alone" from last April in which Carty, Nygaard and I all volunteered to give blood.  Nygaard's blood suction went off without a hitch, but I was feeling a little queasy and was swayed by one of the techs into not giving blood.  Carty, who had long sworn to never give blood because he felt like he would lose a piece of himself, ended up giving blood anyways and passing out.  I was going to give it another go a few weeks ago when the bloodmobile came back to OCA for another handout, but I hadn't eaten anything all day.  So this past Wednesday, I finally did it.  Ana, the tech who nursed Carty back to consciousness, was there and remembered me.  I got a t-shirt parodying American Idol, and was once again told that I'm blood type A.   But most importantly, I got twenty special e-tokens, or as I see it, six games of Pump It Up.

     Also on Wednesday, the long wait for Max Payne 2 was over.  I made the pilgrimage to EB and picked up my copy, which I finished today.  I feel like I rushed through it too much.  I don't really understand the story.  I played Max Payne through in just a few days as well, but I guess I was paying better attention then.  I think the story was also a little bit more gradual in Max Payne as opposed to Max Payne 2.  When the biggest plot twist was revealed, I didn't catch it because it happened so fast.  Whereas in Max Payne, the plot slowly doubles over itself until you see the big picture.  My biggest complaint is the increased vulgarity in Max Payne 2, but as a game, it's every bit as good as the first one.  I think nostalgia and just the originality of the first game are what make it stand out more than the sequel in my mind.  But it was still worth every penny.

     Come to think of it, everything happened on Wednesday.  It was a long day, but actually a really good one.  My parents will be home from vacation tomorrow some time.  I can't say that I'm looking forward to it.  I haven't done anything that I shouldn't while they've been gone, but the freedom was just so nice.  Oh well.  Maybe they will find another reason to leave the state or country at the end of this school year, much like they did in tenth and eleventh grade, respectively.  I have to be at work at 6:45 PM tonight.  I have a little time to waste, and how better to do it than watching TV?  Speaking of that, the second season of Dark Angel gets released on DVD this Tuesday.  I can't wait.  Until next time, stay in school, don't do drugs, be good, venas tol, onward and upward, upward and onward, and somebody call me.

     Don't expect much from this update.  It isn't forced.  I just don't plan on talking about any popular subjects.  Like in the olden days, it's an update entirely for my sake.  I just got off the phone with Onew.  I like talking to Onew.  She goes to FSU, and she told me all sorts of stuff about college, some of which I'm sworn to secrecy about.  Not really.  Well, I am sworn to secrecy, but it's no big deal.  Anyways.

     I didn't go to school today.  This happens every year.  A few weeks after school starts, I miss a day, and I have a little relapse back to summer.  Last year it was for my wisdom teeth operation.  Every year when this happens and I miss a day of school, I always realize just how precious summer was.  Then I wish it was summer again, as I do now.  School, for the most part, is just a big waste of time.  I could take every grammar test from now until the end of the year and ace them all.  Well, except for the ones on the chapters with nothing really worth testing, so the tests end up being on something stupid like a set of grammar rules that you have to complete.  I hate those tests.  They are just tests for the sake of testing.  I couldn't do well on literature, obviously.  But I don't do well on it to begin with because I don't read the stories.  So really, I could finish the school year for English right now.  I know that I couldn't do the same for math or science, but I'm going to forget all that information a week or so after I learn it anyways, so why learn it to begin with?  This last school year is turning into one big chore.  I guess I'm being pretty boisterous right now.  I don't plan to disregard any of the work or anything like that, but it's just getting more difficult mentally to make myself do it.

     The title comes from a little observation I've made lately.  I've been at my job a few weeks now, and I've pretty much seen/met all of my co-workers.  There are quite a few other people who are new at Springz, too.  Apparently a lot of people have left due to college, and that's why they hired a good amount of new people.  I got the idea for this update title when I was at Publix yesterday.  My brother worked there until recently, but he just left because of college.  I used to know the name of most everyone there, and not just because they all wear nametags.  I knew most employees, not personally, but their names, and maybe a little something about them.  Now, though, there are so many new faces.  I don't know hardly any of their names.  The staff has changed so much.  This wouldn't mean crap to me, except for the obvious coincidence.  Things seem to be changing.  New people are showing up in the same places to do familiar jobs.  I was thinking about this when the subtitle of Marvel vs. Capcom 2 came to mind, and here we are.  We're the new age of heroes.

     As I stepped outside today, I got a gust of cool breeze in my face, and it smelled like fall.  This is probably a premature appearance of the genuine fall feeling, but I welcomed it nonetheless.  And if you don't know what I am talking about with the fall feeling, then just ignore this section, because everything I'm about to say is even more whimsical.  I loved summer when it was in its prime, and even towards the end.  But now I think I am ready for fall.  I think I am mostly ready to be smack dab in the middle of some things I'm looking forward to.  I wish I was past the time of saving for my car insurance payment, and in the time of enjoying the things that I plan to save for and buy after the payment.  I'm ready to be in the middle of what looks to be a good season of Survivor.  I'm ready to be fully settled into my job and better acquainted with the people I work with.  Unfortunately, those times are not this time.  I hope that when they are, though, they won't feel like the same old, same old present.  I want something new, and I do have a lot of new things going on, but most of the time, it all seems like nothing has changed.  That's not a bad thing, but I would just love to skip the gradualism of life right now.  And that is something that you seldom ever hear me say.  So maybe that in itself should be a new feeling to mark the changes and the distance that I've come.  It still doesn't seem like anything, though.  

     But by now I'm tired of thinking about things like that, so I guess I'll go take part in the stuff that highly contributes to making the time all blur together like this—TV.  

     So tired.  Sleep would be nice right about now, but I have homework.  For some reason, though, I'm writing an update.  I'll never understand myself.  I'll never understand why I will be so tired during the day, yet stay up until midnight or later doing nothing important.  It's like Jerry Seinfeld's illustration of morning guy, who always gets messed up by night guy's bad partying and sleeping habits.  Night me always screws morning me over, too, by staying up late and not doing homework.  Morning guy would be happy to pick up night guy's slack, except he is just as much of a lazy bum as night guy is.  And I know it's going to be like that tonight, too.  But I felt I had to update.  It's been a while, and I did tell Angie that I would update a few days ago when she asked me to.  I'm a little late, much like I was with the reward that I finally gave her today for guessing a future update title correctly, but at least I'm finally updating now.  So, without further French colloquialisms, I'll get started.

     Man, I am so behind.  Amanda's birthday was Tuesday.  She's now eighteen.  She is the first person my age that I know of to become an adult.  Time really flies.  I remember being in eighth grade with her.  It doesn't exactly seem like it was yesterday, but it's weird to remember all of us back then and think that now we are about to be legal adults.  I realize that it doesn't make much of a difference in the actual person when it happens.  It's still just crazy to think about.  Nonetheless, belated happy birthday, Amanda.  And come to think of it, Ashlee is eighteen now, too.  So happy birthday to you, too.

     Work is going nicely.  I really like my job.  I am getting pretty good at my typical position, though I still have a few problems from time to time.  I met Jennifer Reidt, who I mentioned a few weeks ago as the person whose application I was mistakenly given when I went to get a blank application from Springz.  Actually, it was Nygaard's, application, but he left it at my house, and I took it back.  I assumed that she didn't get hired since I turned her application back in a few days before I turned my own in, and she wasn't hired when I started.  Anyways, though, Pump It Up is coming along nicely.  Sarah, Jon, and I went to Springz Friday afternoon, and Sarah and I played a few rounds.  Sarah set us up on "Winter", and despite my fears, I actually made a B on it.  A few days earlier I had made a D, and I thought that was something to be proud of.  I was all excited about that, but last night when I played again, I made an F on it.  Then I failed in the middle of the song.  Then I got an A.  Then another D.  I don't really know what to think as far as how well I'm doing.  But I do love Pump It Up.

     Believe it or not, that's it.  I thought I had all this stuff to update about, but I've got nothing.  I could do homework, but this is night guy speaking, and there's some unwatched episodes of Seinfeld and The Simpsons on the UTV...  I'll try to not make it so long before updating again, but honestly, I need something else to write about.

     It's been a while.  I can't say that I haven't been busy.  Then again, I can't say that I have been busy these last few days.  Today, yesterday, and Tuesday, I didn't work.  I go in tomorrow for the first time since Monday.  I'm at the same station, which is incredibly boring, and I don't think they plan on training me for any other positions on the busiest night of the week.  Oh well, though.  At least I'm getting paid.  And I like my job a lot so far.  I just learned how to use the cash register system well on Monday night, so I should be scheduled for shifts at the info desk more often now.  I have put in quite a few hours at Springz these past two weeks, though.  I guess as normal working hours go, it isn't that much, but this being my first job, I feel like I am there all the time.  I also feel like I'm not able to be around friends too much anymore.  But it is all good, as they say.  I'm often at Springz even when I'm not working, and when I am, I really enjoy being there.  Still, I am there a lot.  Pretty soon I'll start spelling all plural words with z's instead of s's, and try to use e-Tokens as a form of currency.

     Today the Survivor: Pearl Islands contestants were revealed.  I watched The Early Show and saw them all in action.  It's kind of weird to think about, because if I'm not mistaken, the show just finished filming last Friday.  That means that it is probably being rushed through post-production as we speak, getting ready for the premiere on September 18.  No contestants are from Florida this time.  Oh well.  With the exception of Jan from Survivor: Thailand, all Floridians have been voted out very early in the game.  The buff colors aren't anything original this time, but I do like the tribe names: Morgan and Drake.  These are, of course, the names of famous pirates, which makes sense considering the theme of this season is piracy.  They could have taken words from the language of the indigenes people and made more exotic names, but I like these.  They go with the theme, and they are a breath of fresh air.

     I love Counting Crows, as you all know.  But the other day, as I was listening to This Desert Life (the whole album, not the song for which it was named), I was taken back to ninth grade.  That CD contains so many memories for me.  It's great, especially because that's such a forgotten time in my life.  When I hear that CD, I think about Ultima IX, that dumb football movie with Keanu Reeves, Amanda Wynn (who is not so distant anymore as I now see her at work semi-regularly), Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, Halloween, talking to Nikki on the phone, Thief, and my beloved rice cooker.  It's funny how some music is stuck in your memory like that.  It's funny how seemingly unrelated things all get tied together like that, too.

     I've really been following Big Brother 4 closely.  Some of the things that they do on this show are just down right clever.  I think I have to give them Survivor's title as the king of product placement.  I love product placement.  I don't think it's corny at all.  It is so much better to make me want to buy a product by seeing it used on TV on a show that I was going to watch anyways, rather than seeing a thirty second spiel about why the product is so great while I'm waiting for my show to come back from the commercial break.  Actually, I don't watch commercials.  I just skip them with my UTV.  Even more reason to use product placement.  But, I think the best thing they have done so far is actually taking a houseguest out of the house for a public appearance.  On last night's show, Jun won Head of Household, and was asked to go into the diary room.  She was blindfolded, and actually taken out of the house.  She's at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards right now.  I had heard all about the upcoming 2003 MTV Video Music Awards, but I had no intention of ever watching them.  But when I saw last night's episode of Big Brother 4, I immediately ran a search on the UTV and set the show and its pre-show to record.  They got at least one more viewer.  And you know that any hardcore Big Brother fan who couldn't care less about MTV is going to be tuning in now, too.  That is some seriously smart marketing.  I would like to do something like that for a living.

     Well kids, it's been fun and all, but now I have to either watch the awards show, or do homework.  One announcement that didn't fit anywhere else, and, subsequently, that no one will care about:  I got my first S rating on Pump It Up on, of all songs, "Temptation".  Have a good day.

     This morning started relatively slowly.  I woke up, drifted back to sleep, and got up for good at just about noon after a scary dream about Pooty and one of my parents' horses.  I required some pants and shoes for my first day of work at Springz, so I took a shower, threw on some clothes and started off to the mall.  My first stop was Gap, where I tried on some nice khaki dress pants.  I liked them, but, being the resourceful shopper that I am, I wanted to look at some other stores before I made a purchase.  So I went down to American Eagle, and, not surprisingly, found no dress-style khakis there.  As I was leaving, I saw Jessica Little and Dunai.  We spoke for a minute or two.  They said they were there for a birthday party, and that they had both won $20 in a scavenger hunt.  After more idle chitchat, I bid them farewell and went on to ponder this birthday party.  I assumed it was for Ali and Bean, considering that their birthdays were yesterday.  Late happy birthday, Christine and Ali.  Anywho, I checked out Belk for some more pants, then decided to start looking for some shoes.

     On the way to Footaction, I saw Mrs. Carpenter and Miss Carpenter.  Miss Carpenter and I said hi but didn't really stop and talk.  I then went to Rack Room and found a nice pair of Nikes.  I wanted to look in J.C. Penny's shoe section first, though, so I trotted down to the store.  I browsed the shoes there and didn't really find anything.  As I was making my way back out to the mall, I saw Lindsay.  I stopped to say hi to her when I slowly realized that I was surrounded by quite a few other OCA girls who must have been camouflaged in the racks of women's clothing.  Brittany faded into view from the rainbow of pastel fabrics, wearing some sort of tiara.  Bean came up behind me and tapped me on my shoulder—the opposite shoulder from which she was closest to, that little charlatan...  Kim Banks stood by Lindsay, and a non-OCA girl that I was never introduced to came and went from the group several times.  We talked about how the year was so far, my decision not to play basketball, and my new job.  It was here that I found out that the birthday party was Brittany's, whose birthday was Monday, the first day of school.  Late happy birthday, Brittany.  We talked for a little longer before I left and went on with my shopping.  I still hadn't made any purchases, but I walked down to Mega-Hit.  I looked over the new and pre-owned PlayStation games to continue my search for the many games I want and don't have, and also to see if maybe there were some non-Greatest Hits versions of Final Fantasy X and Kingdom Hearts at a Greatest Hits price.  Lo and behold, I found a used copy of Metal Gear Solid, the game I've had a craving for for so long.  I really wish I had just ordered a new copy when they were still available a little less than a year ago, but I didn't, and now I must resort to a pre-owned copy.  That's why I'm throwing my money around now buying games so often—I know they are all on their way out the door for good, and I don't want to let them pass me by.

     So I bought MGS, and since my stomach had started eating itself, I decided it was time to get some food.  I walked to the food court, and as I was about to get in line, I saw Alyssa waving at me.  Then I noticed she was at a large table full of more OCA girls.  This day kept getting more and more ironic.  But wait, I'm not done.  Angie came over to the little pole fence thing that divides the eating area from the walking area (why do they have that, anyways?) and we spoke briefly.  She said she would prepare a place for me at the table, and, true to her word, she did.  So I sat down at the table with her, Alyssa, Laurie, Tara (Harris), and Christine.  Jess came back from somewhere with a small girl in tow, who she proceeded to wave through the air in the fashion of an airplane...with a damaged wing.  As we ate, we spotted Mary Beth Large of former OCA studenthood.  Dunai joined us later, followed shortly by Becky.  Amidst the conversation of how many OCA people were at the mall that day, they confirmed my uncertain sighting of Zack Eubanks in EB.  We saw Heather Pittman, an OCA student from long, long ago, and the girls talked about someone named Tim White working at the smoothie kiosk, who apparently also went to school with us before.

     As things regrettably often go, the table talk turned to my website, brought on of course by me.  I mentioned my thoughts I've had of ending this site because it is partly responsible for my lack of things to say when I'm in person.  Or on the phone.  Or anywhere.  As I started talking about things to Angie, I would realize that she already knew what I was going to say because she had read it on the site.  But she urged me to go on, for she wanted to hear my expressions and so forth to get the whole experience.  Becky and Dunai had had a strange encounter with some guys earlier, and Angie asked me if I had any strange girl stories to tell.  So, again, I began retelling stories covered in previous updates.  By the way, Angie, you never heard the best one.  Anywho, the conversation was interrupted by another ex-OCA student sighting.  Everyone was staring at the other end of the food court, and talking about some girl in a white shirt.  I asked what was going on a few times, but they were all in an investigative daze.  When one of them finally came to, she told me the name of the girl they were all looking at.  Get ready...  The girl on the other side of the food court in the white shirt was none other than Madeline Henderson!!!

     I scooted my chair back and prepared to leave.  This was not good.  If she saw her former classmates, she may end up coming over, and there would be no mistaking that I was who I was.  I know I sound like I was being a pansy, but how awkward would that have been?  "So...gotten any calls from total strangers lately?"  There was a problem, though.  The only thing I had bought was the video game, and that wasn't even one of the things I went shopping for.  I had to have some new pants for work on Monday, but with her now looking very closely at our table, I wasn't about to risk getting up.  

     Then I had a light bulb.  I asked if it would be too much trouble to enlist the services of the eight lovely ladies to escort me to Gap.  Looking back, I don't know how this prevented her seeing me.  In fact, it probably ensured that she did.  But there's a certain something to be said for a guy surrounded by an army of female bodyguards, and at the time, it made me feel just a bit safer.  They delivered me to Gap unscathed, where I said my goodbyes and thank yous, then went and bought my pants.  I hotfooted it down to Rack Room and bought my shoes, then snuck out the long way...just in case.

     Moral of the story:  Sometimes too many familiar faces can be a bad thing.  Seeing a lot of people I knew was cool until I saw someone that I had an ardent desire to never see again.  I saw a total of sixteen people who are or were in some way related to OCA.  And the majority of them ended up saving me from the possibility of an awkward encounter.  So Dunai, Angie, Jess, Alyssa, Becky, Tara, Christine, and Laurie, I personally thank you for the escort away from danger.  You were very good escorts.  Maybe you could work for an escort service.

Ha-hah.  Is he kidding?

     I just can't seem to get online anymore.  Every once in a while I'll get lucky enough to land an internet connection, but it usually only lasts about two minutes.  That's not even enough time to check my email.  So as of right now, I'm going to start writing updates like normal and posting them whenever I get the chance.  Funny that this should happen again this summer.  It's very similar to last summer's compilation of offline updates.  Anywho, speaking of summer, it's almost over.  I have a little over a week until it's back to OCA for orientation.  And after that, well, it never feels like summer.  I'm really excited about the new school year, but I wish that I didn't have to go through August and September.  These are the most bland months of the school year.  Nobody really knows any of the new people very well, and all of us who are already friends seem to be stuck in this half-summer, half-school limbo.  Speaking of the new people, I saw someone who I assume was a new girl today when I went to school to drop off my volunteer hours and a photocopy of my dual enrollment report card.  She was standing in the entrance hallway of the elementary building, pointing at one of the senior class portraits, saying, "There's Michael."  I say this was a new student because she was with what appeared to be a mother, and who else would go into a school with their mom other than a new student?  Not that any of this really matters...  I was just a little bit excited that OCA will have at least one new face this coming year, even though it probably won't be in my class.  It never usually is.

     I must retract my overly-assuming statement that Ashley Sanders is a traitor.  I was informed today by Mrs. Loyd that Ashley will in fact be returning to graduate this year.  Ashley doesn't read this site, but I still wanted to right the wrong of calling her a traitor.  So there.  Moving on to possibly even less important things, I have been watching Big Brother 4.  Hey, it fills the gaps between Survivor seasons quite nicely.  Whereas Survivor is about surviving as well as strategy (whether I want to admit it or not), Big Brother is entirely about strategy.  The contestants aren't starving, though some of them would have you believe that eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every day for a week is just as bad.  The only episode I have missed so far is the one where Michelle was evicted from the house.  I can't believe I missed this one.  For some reason my UTV only recorded about three minutes of it.  Michelle was one of my favorite players, even if she did get a bad wrap as a bimbo, more or less.  On the bright side, she lives in Boca Raton, FL.  I'm not sure where that is.  But I know that it's in Florida.  And I know that I live in Florida.  Do I smell a CKasper.com exclusive interview?  ...No.  No, I don't.

     And last but not least, I am now finally licensed to pilot a motorcar anywhere in My United States of Whatever.  Speaking of motorcars, I have one, too.  It's just as I promised it would be in previous updates—white, stationwagonular, and with a hole in the front bumper.  I like it a lot, even if it is not the coolest thing on the road.  My main beef with it is the lack of power windows, power locks, and non-power seatbelts.  The locks aren't as much of an issue as the windows, but the power seatbelts are just weird.  This car must have been made in that short span of time where manufacturers thought it would be cool to have the vehicle itself put the shoulder belt on the passenger.  The waist belt is manual.  Not that I care about that.  I would rather have the whole seatbelt be manual.  I use the overhead "emergency release" to unbuckle the automatic shoulder belt when I park and get out.  Then when I get in, I like to pretend it's a space car with futuristic seatbelts.  It doesn't have a CD player, but my dad is going to install the one that came out of his car when he got his uber-radio.  Anyways, this is something that I have been waiting for for quite some time now.  I am very grateful to my grandparents who so kindly gave me this car.  According to Mrs. Seay, it's a lot better than the typical teenager's station wagon.  Now I just have to get a job somewhere, and I will be sitting pretty.  I guess that's about all for this update.  I have no clue as to when I'll be posting this, so the timestamp below the signature will be the time of completion, not posting, for this update and all updates to come for the foreseeable future.

     Things look really different in the morning.  Usually I am asleep for all of the morning and a good portion of the afternoon, and I should be today.  But I have an appointment with the optometrist in Belleview in about an hour to get some more contacts.  I woke up at 6:00 AM and left at quarter 'till 7:00 to go jogging.  I'm running on one hour of sleep.  I think that's actually some kind of new record for me.

     Everyone pretty much knows that these kind of weird sleeping habits are typical of me.  But today, I have a pretty legitimate excuse to be running on one hour of sleep.  Okay, actually I don't.  (This is going somewhere, I promise.)  This really must be the summer of meeting new people.  Last night, as I was out on one of my many late-night walks, I ran into my neighbor Casey.  I'll have to apologize for the spelling; I'm just guessing.  Anyways, Casey was coming to look at my horses with her friend Ashley.  Ashley lives in Pennsylvania, which is where Casey used to live until about a year ago.  She tagged along on the return trip to Florida from Casey's recent stay in Pennsylvania.  She's leaving for home some time today, though.

     Casey and I hadn't talked since almost this time last year.  Awkward silences quickly ensued, making me remember possibly why we haven't talked much.  The conversation wasn't entirely fruitless, though.  Anyways, my other neighbors have some relatives visiting from California.  Two of them soon joined us in my driveway.  I have no idea what their names are.  I have been introduced to them multiple times, but I still can't remember.  Oh well.  Casey started talking about some candy back at her tent (she and Ashley were camping out), and I jumped at the offer of some of it.  While Doritos aren't candy by any stretch of the imagination, Skittles were enough to appease me.  I jumped on her trampoline, too.  I'm a leech.

     The rest of the evening was pretty uneventful.  Except maybe for when Casey, Ashley, and the two other guys tried to make some firewood out of a cut-down tree...  I called it quits at about 2:00 AM (I think) to go help move some furniture back at home.  After that, I continued my walk outside for a long time.

     Moral of the story?  Well, there really is none.  In fact, I don't think there's really much of a reason for this update anyways.  It's been a while since I updated though.  I am going to get that notebook back soon, so my report of the Grand Cypress will be readable in a few days.  I think all updates may be more like this one in the future.  I'd explain why, but it doesn't make much sense.  If you really want to know, email me and I'll tell you.  Or just email me because you're a nice person, and I'm a nice person.  And nice people email each other.  Seriously.  No crap.

     I'm finally home.  Carty's family just dropped me off at my house, and it appears that I left my notebook in their car.  I did write an update while I was away, and it tells about all the really great people that I met on this trip to the Grand Cypress hotel.  I should probably have the notebook back some time within the next few days, so I will be posting my update that I wrote in the hotel room last night as well as an update that Carty wrote in the room and in the car on the way home today.  

     The hotel was just amazing.  The lobby had a very tropical feel to it, with shallow pools of water, caged birds, and tropical plants.  The building was eighteen stories tall, and the lobby was actually a sort of atrium that all eighteen floors opened up into.  The pool was no less stunning.  A cave connected two of the pools, one of which had a bridge which was nice for jumping off of, though very much against the rules.  The pool is where we met Dominique, a very friendly and cute staff girl who said that I had the coolest name in the world.  I wrote plenty about her in the update last night, so as soon as I get that one back, you can hear about her.  In fact you can hear about a lot of people, including Andy and Drew, Suzy the Staff Girl, The Elevator Girl, The Original Hot Girl, "Geovani", "Shrek", Staff Girl (who Dominique told me was named Ashley), Suzy the Homeschooled Girl, Jackie, Monica, and the two jumping guys.

     I would cover the food at the Moon Fish Grill, but Carty wrote a little about it in his update this morning.  I really wish I had brought my camera.  I could have gotten pictures of most of the people that I mentioned and posted them here on the website.  It seems that every really good trip I take, though, I forget to bring my camera.  Man, I really didn't want to leave the Grand Cypress hotel.  But I guess it's really all for the best.  Andy and Drew left this morning.  Jackie and Monica left yesterday, I think.  I know Suzy left yesterday.  And Dominique is probably somewhere high over the Pacific Ocean as I write this.  Oh well, I had a great time.  Oh, and that thing that I said I didn't want to say for fear of jinxing the trip?  I'm really glad that I didn't say it, because it came true.  What I wanted to say was that every summer I go on a trip with Carty, and we make some really great memories.  Then when school gets back in session and we are back to the daily grind, I can think back on them and remember the good times.  I wanted to predict that this trip would hold some great memories for me.  And it did.  This trip has given me more memories than the past two summer trips combined.  My only regret is that I didn't get to know a little better some of the people I met, and maybe give them the address to this site so we could stay in touch.  I would love to continue my conversation with Suzy the Homeschooled Girl, or hear about how Jackie likes her first taste of public high school.  And I would have loved to see the look on Elevator Girl's face when I handed her a piece of paper and said, "Go here.  I'll write about you".

     Anyways, I had a wonderful time.  I would go back in a heartbeat.  As of this moment, I haven't talked to any of my friends, except of course for Carty, since I left for this trip on Wednesday.  I'm contemplating calling Sarah and seeing what's up with her.  Check back for the update from the hotel.  I had a lot of fun writing it, and I think you'll enjoy reading it.  As for now, I have a lot of unpacking to do.

     Greetings, friends and lovers.  After much, much preparation, I think I am finally ready for departure to the good city of Orlando.  You see, as these things often go, I was unexpectedly given the opportunity by Cartito to go on a trip to Orlando with him, beginning today and ending Sunday.  It is just a good will trip to gain the trust of the people...before smashing them—and you—under the green, metallic foot of a giant robot frog.  But, I digress.  I was told that we will be leaving about 4:00 PM, but I haven't heard anything else since about 10:30 AM, so I decided an update would be in order, especially considering how long it has been since my last update.  I packed one of my school notebooks in my suitcase.  Not the one that Jessica vandalized with "Cris [loves] me" and "Jessica is hot" scribbled in cheap ink, but the one with all the Charlie Brown-esque drawings of my classmates.  As such, I will be able to write an update while on this trip should I have the time, privacy, inspiration, and desire.  I may even get Carty to help out.  At any rate, I thought you all should know where I will be for the next four days.

     I recently got my hair cut.  I am a pretty loyal customer of Regis in the Paddock Mall, but I decided to try out the highly-advertised $12 haircut at the Haircuttery.  All in all, I'm not disappointed, but I think my next cut is going to be back at Regis with good old Joe.  Joe is insanely good at cutting hair in the style that I prefer.  The man has mastered the faded clippering.  He got me hooked on Spiker gel, which gives me my signature sharp spikes.  I wish I could remember his last name, as there are two Joes working at Regis.  I know it's a somewhat generic last name...  Williams.  I think it's Williams.  He's the older of the two Joes.  Anywho, I urge the Ocala-based male readers of my site to give Joe Williams (I think) a try, and tell him who sent you.

     So I guess I have only one more thing to say before I leave, and that is really more of something to share—this.  I followed a link to this little tidbit of craziness from a topic posted on the Good Eats Fan Page Message Board.  That silly fellow Al, who I believe is doing a lot of traveling right now and meeting fellow GEFP board users, posted a link to this, and I couldn't help but pass it on.  In fact, I like it so much that it is going to join the likes of "Hi-HO" and "I Love You" under the "Fun Stuff" section on the sidebar of this site.  After I get back from my trip, that is.  I showed it to Jenn and Angie both last night when I discovered it, and it seems that Angie has actually seen it before.  She said her pen pal from Germany sent it to her about a year ago.  Upon further inspection, it is on a completely German site that appears to follow the adventures of a cartoon rat and some sort of game bird.  And these are my people.  That's right, when my culture isn't terrorizing the majority of Europe or inventing sausages with similar names, they are using the miracle of the internet to contribute singing horses to society.

     Speaking of the trip, I really want to say something about it.  I want to make a prediction.  But I don't want to say it and then have it not happen.  I don't really even want to think about it for fear of the same thing.  I just know that if I say something, I'll jinx it.  This is just all really cool, because last summer in early June I updated right before I left on a trip with Carty, and the year before that (which was before the birth of this site) I also went on a trip to a hotel that is near the one that I am going to be staying at.  That was for the Fourth of July also.  Just a bit of nostalgia that I thought I would share.  I'll really be strolling down memory lane if we end up on the boardwalk outside of Epcot some time during this trip.  But, that's not really so important right now.  What seems to be important is that I pop my shiny, new, attractively-packaged, shiny, six-disc set of the first season of Dark Angel.  The FedEx guy brought it while I was writing this update.  That's the first dealing that I have had with FedEx.  Not too bad.  I ordered it Sunday night, and it's now Wednesday.

     Anywho, I think this update is done.  Did it seem different to you?  It seems sort of irregular to me.  It's probably because I am feeling a strange sense of urgency that may or may not be related to the still unwatched copy of Dark Angel: The Complete First Season sitting inches from the keyboard as I type this.  Ah, but whatever.  Look for a rennovation to the sidebar after I get back, and I'm not just talking about the German horse things.  I apologize for any typos or other strange mistakes in this update, as again I am feeling oddly rushed and am not going to proofread it.  In fact, I'm just going to use a title from my big stack of pre-made, unused titles.  I'm also having trouble getting online, so this update may not even get posted until I get back anyways.  But, I think I have had enough false endings to this update, so this time it's for real.  I'll talk to you all on Sunday or after.  Write me some emails, or something.  Fare thee well.

     It's a little bit after noon, and I'm awake.  Strange, I know, but it makes sense when you consider what happened yesterday.  Sunday and Monday were one big day for me, although most of Monday I spent sleeping.  I woke up at 5:00 PM Sunday afternoon and stayed up all night.  Monday morning, instead of falling asleep, I went to the mall at 10:00 AM.  I came home and fell asleep around 1:00 PM for a few hours.  Then at 8:00, I went to bed and slept until a little after midnight.  I had intended to sleep the whole night, but I guess my nap had tided me over sufficiently.  I got up and ate some spaghetti and salad and talked to Jenn for a little while.  Then with the help of extra strength sleeping pills, I drifted off to sneak around secret food irradiation facilities with construction workers.  Okay, so that dream happened before I went to sleep for good last night, but I still wanted to mention it.  Anyways, the whole staying up and short napping and whatnot was a plan to get myself back on a normal schedule.  That is where I got the title, "Death and Rebirth".  At any rate, I'm happy to actually be awake during the daylight, and I plan to keep it this way for at least a little while.

     I may actually be getting high speed internet access soon enough.  I was browsing OCA's website when I noticed a link at the bottom leading to the company that designed the site.  I was eager to know what web design companies may be based out of Ocala, so I followed the link.  XP Internet Services is an e-business solutions company that designs and hosts websites as well as provides dialup internet access and something called wireless internet.  I had heard the term "wireless internet" before, but I always thought it was for cell phones.  In many cases, I still think it is for cell phones.  But this XPdsl^SM that is offered supposedly can give high speed internet access to those who are not offered broadband (DSL, cable modem, etc.) in their area.  And that would be me.  I'm almost scared to get my hopes up, because something this good seems, well, too good to be true.  What does any of this mean to you?  Well, nothing really, except if I do in fact get broadband, you won't have to listen to me talk about my sub-par dial-up connection speeds any more.

     I rented Aliens in lieu of the damaged Angel Sanctuary DVD that I got from Blockbuster.  I had rented the first movie of the series, Alien, two summers ago.  I just never got around to renting any of the other movies.  This one had a somewhat different flavor.  For one thing, there are swarms of aliens instead of just one, hence the appropriate plural title.  I thought the acting was all just a little too '80s at times, like the attempted witty banter between some of the soldiers and Sigourney Weaver's deep, guttural screams of desperation.  But it was good, and I must extend props and other rap dignifications to Aliens.

     I saw Ashlee yesterday.  She was the reason I went to the mall.  I went to the CFCC bookstore and found out how much they would buy back my already-used text books for.  I then went across the street to the mall where I met Ashlee to sell her my books.  She is taking ENC 1101 for the Summer B semester, whereas I just finished ENC 1101 for Summer A.  Books are horribly expensive, even used, so we decided to beat the system and make our own little exchange.  Ashlee got the same quality books for half price, and I got the same amount of money back that I would have gotten from the bookstore.  Everyone's a winner.

     I was a few (twenty) minutes early, so I strolled around the mall amid all the power walking old folks until Ashlee arrived.  Aside from finding out that a new American Eagle store will be opening some time soon, I made another discovery.  I stopped in FYE to futily continue my search for a new copy of Metal Gear Solid.  While there, a sales woman told me that FYE will buy back old CDs, DVDs, and video games.  In a strange coincidence, I had a tall stack of old CDs in the car that I was going to take to a pawn shop later that day and accept whatever I could get for them.  I brought them in, gave them to her to scan, and got $24.50 in store credit.  Not bad, considering most of the CDs were one-hit wonders that I bought/asked for as gifts on impulse.  Thank goodness for today's internet music piracy.  It saves me fortunes.  Anyways, though, as she scanned them, she looked at some of the titles and said, "Wow, what did you do, raid your sister's closet?"  Heh...yeah.  Closet...  Sister...  That's it.

     I'm moving along nicely on making Jon feel left out and behind.  If you notice, I've archived some of the posts, so he will actually have to go into the archives to get updates that are new to him.  Splendid!  To top this all off, I was surprised to find a contribution to the site from Nygaard in my inbox last night when I woke up a little after midnight.  Jonny's screen name signed off a day or two ago, much to my delight.  The last time I checked it, which was well before it signed off, it had been online for three days and several hours.  He had said that Uplift lasted for a week during his many attempts at persuading me to attend, but a week can be interpreted in different ways.  I expect to see him back home tomorrow or Thursday, which would mean that he is leaving today or tomorrow and stopping one of those two nights at a church in Alabama.  You could ask yourself just why I am so seemingly obsessed with him being away and out of the loop, but that would be like asking the square root of a million—no one will ever know.

     Hello there.  This night is absolutely dragging.  I can't believe it's only now almost midnight.  I've been basically nocturnal for a few days now.  This is the beautiful thing about summer.  I get to stay up all night and just do whatever I please.  Well, sort of.  It's almost becoming a curse lately.  The whole theme of my life these past few days seems to have been darkness.  My eyes haven't seen the full light of the sun for two days now.  I wake up, and it's late afternoon.  By the time I take a shower, it's evening, and then dark soon after that.  And they mostly come at night.  Mostly.  Anyways, darkness is cool and all, but if Northern Exposure's Dr. Joel Fleischman knew what he was talking about in that one episode where everyone in town wore the visors that emitted light during the long, dark days of Alaskan winter, the body is actually physically dependent on light.  Only to a certain extent, of course, but constant darkness can lead to depression.  In my case, it's more like anxiety.  I almost have cabin fever tonight.  I took a walk to get the mail a little while ago, but that was short-lived.  I sort of want to get out of this habit of sleep.  Then again, I've had the same experience during the daylight hours.  The morning or afternoon will seem to just drag on and on.  I wonder, though, if this is the summertime boredom that I am long overdue for.  If it is, I know it is only a matter of time before I learn how to entertain myself doing nothing.

     In the mean time, I will have Chrono Trigger to tide me over.  This is my most favoritest game of all time.  And in the world.  It is an RPG, and I am playing the re-released version on PlayStation.  Well, I am playing it on a PlayStation2, but it's a PlayStation game.  Ah, whatever.  I digress.  I really love this game.  It is about time travel, and in turn, saving the world.  I have reached the part towards the end of all RPGs where there are a bunch of side quests that diverge from the main plot.  I did the one tonight that involves Robo in the replanting of a forest that had been turned into a desert by subterranean-dwelling monsters.  This is where you get into the coolness of the time travel aspect of Chrono Trigger.  After defeating the monsters, you return to the surface of the desert and go to this house where Fiona and her husband live.  They have dedicated their lives to replanting the forest, but with their crude 600 A.D. farming technology, it will take long past their lifetimes for their dream to be complete.  Robo volunteers to stay and help.  Utilizing your nifty time machine, you can travel forward into the future.  What is only a few seconds for you results in four hundred years of labor for Robo, evident by the lush forest in place of the desert in 1000 A.D.  In the middle of the forest is a cathedral dedicated to Fiona and Robo that just happens to also contain the remains of the post-apocolyptic robot.  He is damaged, but still functional.  Lucca repairs him, and happiness is restored.  Robo has been contemplating their adventure for four hundred years, and the quest goes on to involve a somewhat deep conversation about regret and death that ties into the plot, and even further to a involve Lucca in a solo mission to change a big mistake that she made in the past.  You can actually change it or not change it, whatever you choose, and the result will affect the outcome of the future.  Cool, huh?  There's all kinds of groovy future-changing time travel involved in this game.  For instance, a "sun stone" is necessary to complete another quest, but sun stones don't grow on trees.  They are made by placing a "moon stone" in sunlight for aeons.  But no problem is too big for time travelers to tackle.  Place the moon stone in the sun in the Prehistoric, then jump to the present, and, viola, sun stone.  It's good stuff.  Did I mention I like this game?

     Anywho, moving on to more important things (sarcasm), I've rekindled my love for Futurama lately.  After that episode I mentioned last update, I've started to notice the way that Futurama seems to be a "dramedy" (mix of comedy and drama) more than your average animated sit-com.  I guess it started about three weeks ago when I saw the new episode entitled "The Sting".  This was on Fox, not Cartoon Network, because it was new.  It was awesome from start to finish.  It had a twisting plot.  It had heartfelt drama.  It was really...surprising.  It was basically about Leela mourning Fry's death.  But there was so much symbolism involved.  In the end, Leela wakes up from a coma.  She was the one who was almost dead.  It is only after the episode, when you remember some of the things that happened, that you realize what was going on the whole time.  For instance, Leela almost did something in her comatose dream that would have resulted in her real-life death.  And Fry had been by her side the whole time.  All the hallucinations she had about Fry were the result of her hearing Fry talk to her at her bedside.  Check out this message board thread to see just how deep this episode was, and how much it impacted the fans.

     This episode and the one that I talked about last time got me thinking about Futurama's plot in general.  You've got Fry who loves Leela, but she turns down every attempt he makes to show her affection.  This is especially irking to the viewer because Fry is the only person she knows who actually thinks she's attractive, and who honestly does love her for who she is.  Once in a while, she will hug Fry, or show him some kind of affection, like the Valentine's Day episode where she let him rest his hand on top of hers.  I thought about how frustrating this is, and how much every fan including myself must want them to be together.  But as I thought more, I realized that this is a certain flavor of love story that might be more rewarding than a conventional one.  Fry gets turned down so much that those small, rare moments of affection are so sweet.  If Leela were to ever accept Fry, it would be so different.  Holding hands or hugging wouldn't be a groundbreaking thing for them.  The story would have to move further into their relationship and show them sharing a profoundly deep love to remain original.  Right now, it is something original that Fry cares so much about Leela, even if the feelings aren't mutual.  This "less is more" type of romance is something that I need to get my head around if I am going to write a really great story.

     Something I forgot to mention a while ago is that Jenn, my beloved mentor, is going to be getting married.  And she has asked none other than me, her mentor-ee, to be a groomsman.  I was honored, and glad to accept.  The wedding won't be for over a year, but it's all for the best as I will be out of high school by then, which will certainly make things easier.  I am giddy as a little girl.

     I think this update has gone on long enough.  I wonder what Jon is doing right now.  I guess he is in the full swing of Uplift.  Every day, I look at his online but idle screen name as a beacon of torment, mocking me safe and sound from his DSL-equipped fortress.  You'll pay for this one, Juanny.  Your death will be slow and painful, involving a bag of apples and a fully-stocked tool chest.  Sorry to resort to the inside joke, but those are what make the world go 'round.  End transmission.

     So I suppose it's time to update.  Two calendar days ago (one of my days ago) was Father's Day.  I took a trip to Orlando to see my grandpa.  I drove, as is the style of the time these days.  This was one of my safer trips to Orlando, unlike the last time I think it was that I almost changed lanes right into the hood of another guy's car.  Some of the anxieties I experienced while driving in Orlando are due to a strange precaution my dad makes me take involving left turn lanes, but most of them are thanks to the crazy, crazy drivers and huge amounts of traffic.  It is interesting, though, to be able to drive in a place where I grew up long before I could even reach the peddles.  Well, I should say a place where I lived before I could even reach the peddles.  I didn't really grow up there.  But it's cool that I know exactly which combinations of tiny streets and big highways to take to get to a certain destination because I've seen it done a million times.  Anywho, we met my great-uncle, great-aunt, and two cousins for dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse.  It was a fairly enjoyable time, but what really made it important is that my grandpa just bought himself a new car.  He got a Ford Focus station wagon.  Now, station wagons aren't really my type, but I think it was a classy decision because it is a Focus.  It's funny that I say station wagons aren't my type, though, because in something that could maybe be considering irony (but not really), my grandpa, being the awesome guy that he is, is passing on his '95 Ford Escort station wagon to me.  That's right, my first car in all its glory.  My brother's was an '89 Ford Taurus, brown as...um...a brownie.  Sorry, it's late.  All in all, I think I would take what I'm getting over what he got.  I don't actually get the car though for another few weeks.  He's being nice and getting all sorts of inspections and not really necessary repairs done to it.  I can't wait to start driving.  I want to avoid the whole hotshot teenager "I've got a car now and I'm cool" image, which, considering what I'll be driving, I don't think that's much of a problem.  But I want to avoid the mentality, especially when I get a job.  I can't help but feel a little proud, though, because I'm standing on the brink of achieving two things (car and job) that I have wanted for so long.  No...  I haven't just wanted them, I've fought for them.  I negotiated so much with my dad to get these two things for probably close to two years now.  It hasn't been good enough that I've been willing to get all the money for it myself.  And I look at other people my age, and I don't want to say that they've had it handed to them, but they haven't had to deal with parents who basically expect you to rely on them for every bit of transportation until you are 18, and like it.  Other people have had parents who realize it's the normal thing for kids to get their license when they are 16, get some sort of a car, and a job if necessary to pay for it.  Not that any of this really is going to matter much anymore.  It's just actually been a journey for me, and a battle at that.  And I'm about to get what I've wanted.  Not that it's going to be dignified, but you know, I don't care one bit.

     Moving right along, I've been filling out some email surveys lately.  I think I've filled out two recently, and I have three more to do.  That means that you all will be getting them in your email inboxes for your reading enjoyment.  Always remember, don't send me a survey unless you want to get it back. ^_^  I've actually seen a new kind of survey now, one that you fill out about the person who sends it to you.  I've gotten these in the past, but I've never filled them out because some questions are a little bit frightening.  But two of the three surveys I have on my plate are this style, and they seem to have only questions I don't feel weird about answering.

     Finally, I have a link I'd like you to go to if you are interested and have time.  Tonight I read an interview with the host of one of my favorite shows, Good Eats.  Yes, this is a cooking show.  It's not a typical cooking show, though.  I don't think that's enough to win anyone over, is it?  I've followed this show as a fan from obscurity to some pretty widespread fame, as far as tutorial shows on a niche channel go.  Good Eats is hosted by Alton Brown.  This man is a genius.  I have heard the story of how he started the show a million times, but I guess it never really caught on until I read it tonight that he really did gamble his life on it.  I mean, how many people would actually give up their successful job and go into five years of training to create their dream?  And the things he said about his wife...  Man, I just hope I can marry a girl like that some day.  He mentioned something about being a role model, and you know, I really do look at him as a role model.  Granted, the show is lighthearted and focuses on little more than cooking and food science, but his devotion and belief in what he does is inspiring.  I've read his book which is just about the greatest honor someone can receive from me—I can probably count on one hand the amount of books I've ever read in their entirety.  They just don't hold my attention.  I've read his interviews.  I know what he's all about.  He sits down and finds what he thinks is the right way of doing things.  If that means suggesting that, say, you store beets encased in sand inside a container in your refrigerator, or roasting a chicken inside a flower pot that you sent through the self-cleaning cycle of your oven to preheat it, then that's what he's going to do.  Granted, there are plenty of normal methods that he recommends.  I just can't help but look at him now like a serious risk taker who it all paid off for.  His meticulous ways and strong belief in what he does are sometimes interpreted as arrogance, condescension, or stubbornness, but the same thing happens to me.  I really like this interview.  It's almost a darker side of him where he tells what really happened to make the show that we see now, and how he thinks society has really gone downhill.

     I suppose that's about it.  My final class is tomorrow, followed by an optional class on Thursday.  I'm going to see for sure if Carty and Candyce are going to that or not.  It's not really a class.  You just walk in and find out your grade, ask any questions you may have, then go down the street to Tony's Sushi Bar to celebrate the end of the semester.  I still need to cite a few things in my last report which is due tomorrow.  I can't decide if I should do that now or after I wake up later today.  So, anyways, I'll try to update again soon, especially since this class will be over.

     It's been a while.  I can't say I've had a good excuse for not updating, except for maybe helping out at my church with Vacation Bible School every morning last week.  As testament to the folly of procrastination, now that I am finally updating it's going to be quite huge and most likely boring.  Anywho, without further adieu (as they say in Frenchland), here's the update:

     The first draft of my 1,500 word argument essay is due tomorrow night at class.  I haven't started yet.  I guess I'll have to do that after I finish writing this update.  I'm tempted to just not turn it in until next class.  I mean, the professor probably wouldn't have set tomorrow's class as the due date if one of the ladies in there hadn't asked if we should have it ready by the next class.  And with the way the turning in of assignments in handled, I sort of wonder if he'd even notice if it was late or not.  That would ruin my perfect record of having everything on time, though.  And I guess I need to work hard to cushion any potential blow from not having any conferences with him.  I suppose I could squeeze one conference in, but I don't think I can get two in before the class is over.  Even if I did, I don't think they would count as much as two spaced out evenly in the semester would.  I mean, it would be obvious I was rushing to just get them over with.  Oh well.  I don't even know what I'm going to talk about if and when I do have a conference with him.  I have no questions or anything.

     I took Animal Crossing back to Blockbuster on Thursday, so my GameCube is sort of lonely right now.  I don't know if I am going to buy another GameCube game for a while.  I don't know what to buy, actually.  And I'm afraid to look for something to buy, because I'm afraid I'll find something.  I think I want to drop the $20 on a copy of Metal Gear Solid for PlayStation.  I played Jon's copy in early 2002, and I've been in love with it ever since.  When I asked for it last Christmas, it was all sold out.  My last hope is to search the obscure stores on the internet and hope they are legitimate.  I've found one place claiming to sell a new copy of it on Yahoo! Shopping, so here's hoping.  Anywho, a lot of GameCube games at E3 looked really good.  I am especially interested in GiFTPiA.  The name is a combination of the words "gift" and "utopia".  I've read IGN's preview of the game, and that doesn't sound like a very fitting name, but oh well.  The director and game designer of GiFTPiA worked on Chrono Trigger.  That means little to you, but lots to me.  GiFTPiA is a strange mix of RPG, adventure, and simulation.  It's similar to Animal Crossing in that your character roams his community interacting with others.  But there's more of a story to it than there is with Animal Crossing.  It has RPG elements, too.  Read the preview if this sounds at all interesting to you, because this game looks really sweet.  It's also quite weird.  There's things like the radio station that uses huge speakers to blast music across the island that the game takes place on.  But then there's unique, stylish things, like the main character's face being scrambled for the first hour of gameplay because he's a minor and he's being shown on TV.  Then there's the really out there stuff, like the mushroom-induced hallucinations that tell him he should try to help more people instead of just earning money for himself.  This game has a million and one unique things about it, and I can't wait to play it.  Unfortunately I have a long wait ahead of me.

     Taking a step away from video games, Pooty the cat has been bothering me lately.  He hasn't been acting too much like a cat.  He follows me now.  He doesn't stay around my other cats too much.  Instead he just sits outside my front door.  Yeah.

     I think I'll make a trip back to Blockbuster soon.  There are a few PS2 games I'd like to get, and plenty of movies I need to rent.  Have you ever noticed that every Blockbuster has a certain smell?  It's the same for each Blockbuster, but other stores don't smell the same.  I can't figure out what it is.  I'm thinking it's a lot of plastic, which makes enough sense given the DVD cases and video tapes.  It's almost a good smell, but then again, this is coming from the person who thinks chlorine smells good on people after they've gotten out of a pool.  

     Saturday I saw Jonny for the first time since the last day of school.  Nygaard came and picked me up around 3:00 PM and we headed to Jon's place to swim.  And swim we did, not before injecting Nygaard with his fix of Battlefield 1942.  Whilst swimming, we watched The Animatrix on a poolside TV.  I didn't really get to pay attention too closely, but what I saw was really cool.  We stayed until about 12:30 AM and then Nygaard and I returned to my house.  I had a really good time, and we agreed that that was the best way to hang out since it costs nothing and is still loads of fun.  I hope that we can casually hang out like that more often.  In fact, I hope that I can do that with different people in the near future.  So if you want to invite me to your house, anyone, feel free. ^_^

     I have a few more notes of topics to write on.  Yes, I make notes from time to time.  We've been over that, right?  But I think I'll stop here.  My last order of business, though, concerns a little girl by the name of Sarah Davis.  It's her birthday tomorrow, which is actually today by now.  She'll be seventeen years old.  So drop her an email or an e-card or a phone call or something and wish her the best.  Happy birthday, Sarah!

-Chris

12:26 AM   6-10-03

     Lo.  I woke up around 9:00 PM tonight after a nice six hour nap.  I guess that's less a nap and more a full night's sleep.  It hit the spot, but now I have quite a predicament.  Tomorrow I must go to church at 8:30 AM to help with Vacation Bible School as I did today and will be doing for the rest of the week.  That's not really a problem in itself, as I could just stay up all night, come home at 12:30 PM tomorrow (actually today) after Vacation Bible School and sleep all day again.  The problem is my dual enrollment class.  I have to be there at 5:30 PM, leaving only five hours after I get home to gain sleep.  And as some of you know, I'm a cranky monkey when I wake up.  I guess I could go early and swim in the CFCC pool until class time.  That would probably keep me awake.  But man, I don't know how I'll make it through class tomorrow night.  I've had some experience with attending multiple-hour classes over the summer on zero hours of sleep (see "Madeline Henderson" and "Joint Photographic Experts Group").  Needless to say, it's a recipe for disaster.  I'll probably come home stricken with love for one of the divorced single parents in my class.

     I have recently discovered the existence of Weebl and Bob.  Weebl and Bob seems to be this series of Flash movies from England.  I first heard about this from the Good Eats Fan Page Message Board folks back around the end of 2002.  The episode I watched was hilarious.  It made fun of Final Fantasy VII.  It's far different than most of the other episodes, though.  It was made by Bob, who apparently doesn't do Flash movies too well.  Weebl and Bob must be like Megatokyo in that the characters, or at least the main characters, are exaggerations of the real people that create the episodes and their friends.  The next one, which was a standard episode, just didn't tickle my fancy.  But I've since gone back and started watching all the episodes.  I'm about up to date with them.  It's definitely British.  What I really want now is the sweet Weebl and Bob t-shirt that they are giving away in some contest or something.

     And while I'm pointing out sites to check out, do swing by Angie's Xanga site.  This is Angie Mueller of OCA fame.  I say fame because she believes that my site will make her famous.  And far be it from me to crush this little girl's dreams.  Anywho, I think I am going to add a new section to the sidebar at the left that has other people's site's links on it.  All the sites I know about thus far are Angie's Xanga site, Candyce's Xanga site, Jenn's website, and Jenn's Whaptastic Diary.  You'll notice that Candyce's site hasn't got a link.  That's because I can't find the freaking thing.  So Candyce, if you're out there, send me a link.  And if anyone else has a site, Xanga or otherwise, you should also send me a link.

     I guess that's about it for now.  I need to start working on my paper that is due in less than twenty four hours.  The good thing about this class is that even though papers are due almost every class, I've always got plenty of time to write them, even if I don't start until close to the due date.  I think I much rather prefer a class like this that is held twice a week than one that is held four or five days a week.  At least for this course.  If it was more involved, I would probably prefer the four day a week daytime class.  I guess I would still prefer a daytime class, if only for the sake of being able to go do things after class.  I know this makes no sense to anyone else, but it seems like a waste when I've come all the way into town and when I get out of class, any place worth going is closed.  Oh well, now I'm just rambling.  Until next time.

     Summertime is here.  Happiness and cheer.  I am getting back into my groove already.  It's so weird.  Last summer seems so distant, but after school ended a few days ago I immediately snapped back into the routines and habits of last summer.  It's back to watching shows like Seinfeld and The Late Show, back to staying up until crazy hours of the morning (though I still haven't quite achieved my usual schedule yet), and soon I hope it will be back to cooking regularly.  The updates will probably be affected, too.  I won't have so many things to write about that other people can relate to.  Instead, I'll probably have shorter updates, which is something I've wanted to have for a long time now.  And they will probably be about topics of little interest to other people.  I'll probably lose a lot of my readers, but oh well.  I can't really change that.

     Grounded for Life has always had my respect because the show makes accurate references to things I know about.  The jokes often play on the oddness of Jimmy and Henry's interests.  The last episode I saw was about the difference in interests between Sean and Jimmy.  They referenced manga, even though Sean pronounced it wrong.  Then they made two references which I didn't recognize.  They were talking about one of the manga's story, mentioning some princess with a tail and a bunch of maidens and something called the Overfiend.  I'm not quite sure what that was, but given the show's good record of accuracy, I'm sure there's actually a manga out there that has that stuff in it.  Then they talked about a movie playing in town called "Magic January Fire 6", shown in the original Cantonese.  Again, I'm not too sure what that is, but I'd like to be.

     I had to miss my college class last Thursday night because of a drama performance at OCA's kindergarten graduation.  This was the actual last moment of school for me, you could say.  I was graded on this, but school was essentially over already.  I wanted to get a picture of the drama class and Miss Mullins, but I forgot to.  The performance was good, considering I forgot almost all my lines a few minutes before we had to go on stage.  Towards the end, we started to fall apart a little bit.  Carty and I managed to sweep a screw-up under the rug by trading a few of each other's lines as we were saying them.  So after all that, I forgot to get my excused absence form signed by Miss Mullins.  This is quite a problem.  Since Carty also forgot, we are going to call her and see if we can go to her house on Monday or Tuesday before the class and get them signed.  I've also got to call Candyce and find out what happened last class.  I know that the first draft of a comparison and contrast paper was due, which I haven't started yet.  I hope there's no other big assignments that I'll have to due before Tuesday night.  I still have to revise my first paper and turn that in again.  Heh, I'm in college.

Oh, and one last thing.  Most of the pictures are up now, including the new-old North Carolina pictures page.

     Today was the day—the end of the 2002-2003 school year.  It was such a strange, and actually ironic occurrence.  Last year's final exam wasn't Mr. Carpenter's Biology exam.  It was Mrs. Thompson's BST II exam.  But, nontheless, Mr. Carpenter's Biology exam was so long that I ended up staying a while after the exam period to finish it.  Today, I had to do the same thing with his Chemistry exam.  Carty stayed for a while to throw out some sentimental and reminiscent comments.  Eventually, he must have gotten tired of waiting and decided to leave.  I finished my exam shortly after, and started walking down the cleared-out hallway.  It was instantly dead.  All the lockers were empty.  The teachers sat in their rooms, minding their own business.  I walked down to the fork in the hallway where the two wings of lockers split from the main hall.  I turned left, about to go out the normal way.  But then I remembered how last year, after the BST exam, Carty drug me over to his house.  At the time, it was right across the street on the other side of the retention pond.  I told him I wanted to stay and say goodbye to some people.  He told me I didn't need to do that.  I still sort of wish I had gone and said bye to a few faces, but I walked over to his house with him anyways.  So when I thought about that, I turned around, and I walked down the other wing of this deserted hallway.  I threw open the doors (well actually just one of them) that I had walked through every morning.  I walked down the sidewalk to where I could get a clear view of the retention pond and the path that we walked a year ago.  I looked for a while, and then I turned around, and I left.  Okay, I took a picture first.  Then I left.  As I was walking down the sidewalk by the kickball field, I encountered Carty.  He was back to bring his Geometry book to Mr. Shaddix.  I walked back with him.  Mr. Shaddix isn't coming back next year.  I'm going to miss him.  This year was not what I thought it was going to be for math.  My best memories of Mr. Shaddix will be from my tenth grade fifth period Algebra II class, population six.  I told him that my math grades were trash before he came to teach at OCA.  I shook his hand and turned my back.  It's weird to think that I'll probably never see him again.  It's not that I'm all that attached to the guy.  I've just spent a lot of time around him, listening to his Alabama voice, watching him write equations and various other figures on the board.  And I'll probably never see that again.  He's going to teach in Macon, GA now at Gilliad...Gilliad Christian...something or other.  Spite.  I've already forgotten.  Oh well.  I stop there every year in October on vacation.  Twice, actually.  Once on the way to North Carolina, and once on the way home.  I always stay at the Motel 6 there, I think.  It's your typical Ye Olde Offramp Inn.  Then I go eat breakfast at the Cracker Barrel down the road.  Being that close gives me ideas.  I want to show up in his class one day unnanounced.  Just go in, sit down, take out some books when the bell rings.  Heh heh...  Anywho, I digress.

     As I walked out, I finally paid Mrs. Andrews the $8 I owed her from the National Honor Society fund raisier.  I'm the future NHS president...  I don't really know what that's going to be like, but I think I'm going to go with it.  So as we walking down the halls, I mentioned to Carty that last year we went over to his house.  We decided to walk over there and take a picture of the school.  And we did.  We crossed the big street and looked over at the school.  I took a picture, and we started heading back.  We took a minute to remember how last year on that last day, we were hammering out plans to go see Spiderman.  That movie seems old now.  And as I walked down the sidewalk back on campus, it became obvious that there was no one to say goodbye to.  Just like last year.  Coach Snyder was heading back into the gym, presumably after handling the sign-out sheet.  Just like last year, Carty and I neglected to sign out for the last day.  I made plans to meet Coach tomorrow and reclaim my copy of Devil May Cry.  Carty and I walked out his car, then he chased me to mine.  And the year was over.  Those last few minutes were captured on video, by the way.  I got in the car, popped in my Third Eye Blind CD, and skipped to the thirteenth track, my favorite song of all time—"Motorcycle Drive By".

     So, why do I write all this?  Just to exercise my characteristic monotony?  Well, a little bit.  Mostly just because this day meant something to me.  I'm never ever going to be a typical high school student again.  Next year, I'm going to be a senior.  I'm going to be taking only five classes.  I'll be on my way out the door the whole year.  I'm never going to be just your regular high school kid again.  That ended today.  I guess I could still pass as one over the summer.  But next year, I'm going to be more grown up whether I like it or act like it or not.  Today reminded me so much of last year.  It was almost like the barrier of time had been removed for a minute.

     Last year was good because it was a new frontier.  I started last year with three friends: Carty, MiniMe, and Jen (not to be mistaken with Jenn).  That's it.  I became friends with Sarah, Katie, Meghan, Jon, Aaron, Elliott, Nicole, Erica, Channing, Ashlee, and Jessica (if you want to consider that a friendship).  I met or became more acquainted with countless others.  This year held the strengthening of many of those friendships.  I became friends this year with some of the people that I met for the first time last year.  Last year was so new.  This year didn't have the same glitz and shine, but it was still important.  Because, after all, which is more important: glittery moments spent with new faces, or strengthening relationships with friends you can count on?  Another thing that made this year different was that I think I had more of my emotions on the line.  I chased a lot of girls this year.  Sometimes I'm not too proud of that.  But it's not like I was trying to develop feelings for them.  It just sort of happened.  Either way, though, I'm still standing here at the end.  I think I've learned some stuff.  Okay, I know I've learned some stuff.  I guess the real question will be if I can/will use it.  Anywho, I digress.  Last year, I wanted to find a girl.  But I guess I pretty much resigned myself to the fact that there was no one for me, and there wasn't going to be anyone for me for a while.  I remember what brought these feelings on.  It was this girl that I had chased after for almost a year and a half.  Finally I realized that my life was crap because of it, and I resolved that the summer of 2001 was going to be awesome.  And it was.  It's probably because I found self-sufficiency.  Suddenly I didn't really need some girl there beside me.  There hadn't really been too many girls there beside me to begin with.  Then when the new school year came, there was this flood of people.  It super-charged that portion of my life.  I felt like whatever I was doing, I was doing it right.  I had friends, I was making acquaintances, and I wasn't bogged down by some make-believe relationship anymore.  And that all lead to an amazing year of school.  It was a huge success.  It just happened to shut off that one portion of life that I've returned to this year.  It's not easy.  It's not always fun.  But it's crucial.  I wish I could achieve a balance for next year.  I need self-sufficiency, but I don't want to shut out emotions.  I don't want to miss opportunities.  I'm not really that scared about next year as far as decisions and whatnot.  In actuality, I probably should be.  What I'm worried about is wasting time.  I'm worried that next year I'm going to speed through and not live every second as fully as I can.  I'm worried that all the things I wanted to take part in, or have, or be, in my high school years won't be attained.  After that, there's no getting that back.  I'll never be in high school again.  These last three years of high school were the most crucial for maybe.  And maybe that is just me.  But that brings me to my next point:

     I want to speak to the ninth graders, the soon-to-be tenth graders.  I don't think any of them regularly read this site.  But I'm going to say what I want to anyways.  This summer between ninth and tenth grade was my best.  Don't waste it.  Have fun.  Do what makes you you.  I played video games, watched a bunch of TV, hung out with Carty, and dreamed about the future.  That's pretty much me, right?  You're growing up, so don't waste it.  This next year is going to be something special.  I think it's this time period.  I didn't just get lucky and have a great tenth grade year.  This is the perfect age.  Most of you are between fifteen and sixteen years old.  Some of you are getting driver's licenses and cars.  There will be enough of you that don't do that, though, so that you don't feel weird not having a car.  You are going to be getting older.  Taller, bulkier, whatever way you have yet to physically grow.  But you're going to be growing a lot inside, too.  I'm not going to try and tell you how to do this best for a multitude of reasons, the last of which not being that I don't really know.  All I want to say is this:  Live.  Find your friends and spend time with them.  Make some memories to tell your spouse about when they ask you what you were like in high school.  Maybe your future spouse is actually in school with you now.  It's a long shot, but it happens.  Make some memories to look back on with them.  Do the things you want to do in high school now.  Don't go crazy and do something bad, but what I'm saying is try next year to become the person you want to be.  Find the image of yourself that you want to achieve, and do it.  I have my own image figured out, and I hope that next year it can become a reality.  And most of all, forget that I told you to do any of this.  Just do it.  Don't try.  It's mechanical that way and it doesn't work.  Trust me.  Don't try.  Just do.

     This was a great year, despite my contrary feelings during many parts of it.  I had a great time being around all the people I was privileged enough to know.  Thank you, everyone.  We'll do it all again next year, one last time.

Now, who's coming to see my drama performance at OCA tomorrow night?  7:00 PM. ^_^

     You know, food always smells better when someone else is cooking it.  I don't know how many onions and peppers I've slice in the years I've been cooking, but tonight, when I smelled those things being prepared for dinner, it was so much more appetizing than when I handle them.  Anyways, I thought you should know that.  I watched Northern Exposure for the first time in a long time today.  Once again, I'm left somewhat in awe of just how great this show is.  This episode dealt with Ed falling in love with a girl who he wooed with letters that Chris was secretly writing for him.  It was a pretty accurate portrayal of some real life personalities.  You've got Chris (who is played by John Corbet, the co-star of My Big Fat Greek Wedding) who is so cultured and so familiar with the social aspect of life that it's no big deal for him to eek out some romantic words for his friend.  Then there's Ed, who is so horribly reserved.  Ed knows the feelings, probably because he's had them fed to him by his ardent love of movies.  He just has no social experience, and is therefore horribly introverted.  He's got the feelings, he just has trouble expressing them.  I keep leaving this show and coming back to it.  It always seems to stay fresh that way, even if it's not intentional.

     I took my geometry exam today.  I now have one more exam to take before this year is officially over.  I don't know how I feel about that so much anymore.  This year was good, whether I noticed it at first or not.  It's just so...different.  Think about the beginning of this school year.  Think about the summer leading up to it.  Maybe it's just me, but man, it feels like so much has changed.  Some changes were pretty unpredictable.  Others are even ironic.  It feels like so long ago, too.  I remember homecoming, and just that very beginning portion of the year in general.  I look back on that as fondly as I look back on 10th grade.  I probably feel this way because it's just as unattainable as 10th grade is now.  I've really got to stop listening to music that reminds me of these times while I update.  Otherwise I'm going to be ranting about this every time.

     Anyways, though, it seems like I'm always happy with the present once it has become the past.  I guess it's just another of my problematic personality quirks.  I look down at my arm now, though, and I see the very faded remains of some writing that, earlier today, read "I love Jessica," and "I love Katie more."  Now, these were both written entirely for the sake of a joke, and sorry Katie and Jessica, but neither of them could come close to comparing with the girl I like.  It just makes me think about the value of friends.  I really know some of the most interesting and awesome people around, and in bulk I might add.  Life is good.  I think that's one of the reasons I'm a little anxious about this summer.  I'm pretty much being cut off from all the people I know.  I'll see Carty and Candyce twice a week until June 19.  Other than that, I think it's pretty much over for me and my friends on a regular basis after this Wednesday.  Sarah's heading off to the beach for a month, anyways.  I don't think I saw Meghan once last summer.  Katie I saw a week or so before school started this year, but she strangely ignored me.  Jon's probably going to be disappearing, too.  Last summer I learned to cope, but, well, circumstances were different last summer.  I know it's how things just have to be, but I don't want to see this school year end for the sake of everyone I get to spend time around five days a week.  I guess that's it for now about this, but don't think I'm not going to rant in just as much detail again on Wednesday after I take my last exam or Thursday after I do my final drama performance.

     Speaking of that performance, I had to write a speech which I will be reading Thursday night at the kindergarten graduation.  This is the first time I'll be presenting something I've written to an audience.  It's also going to be a rather large audience, made up in part by my peers.  Well, okay, I know Nicole and Elliott are going to be there.  I dare say I'm a little nervous.

     It's not even summer yet (for me) and I'm already feeling the boredom coming on.  I think summer will pick up in the middle, around July or so.  But as for these first months, I don't know what I'm going to do.  Anyways, I think this is about it.   Time to end one of the last updates in my junior year.

     Islands of Adventure is so awesome.  I went there for the first time in two and a half years yesterday with those of us from OCA who qualified for the reward field trip.  Carty, Meghan, Erica, Candyce, Sarah, and myself formed a group and hit Hulk first.  I found it to be a little bit weaker than usual.  After the initial blast out of the launch tube, I was able to really relax.  I was kind of disappointed.  After Hulk, we went to Spiderman, which Sarah had a strange aversion to.  Jurassic Park and Cat in the Hat came next, each fun in their own ways.  But Fear Fall was the best for me.  It made up for the shortcomings of Hulk.  I didn't remember it being quite so powerful. ^_^  We had experienced transportation problems on the way down to Orlando, and we stood in line forever to get our tickets, so the day went by pretty fast.  It was fun, though, and I enjoyed spending time away from school with friends.

     The previous night, I attended my first college class.  Carty and I arrived at exactly the same time, and that was a good thing.  I had left my schedule at home.  I swung by the mall after school and I had no time to go home before going to CFCC.  I was going off of memory for the building and classroom numbers.  I had the building right, but I would have ended up in the wrong room had he not showed up.  Candyce came closer to the class's starting time.  By then, we had already found the cafeteria and taken advantage of the vending machines.  Okay, I had taken advantage of them.  It appears I will be living off of Pepperidge Farms Milano cookies, beef and cheese snacks, and 20 oz. Dr. Peppers on Tuesday and Thursday nights until the middle of June.  The class quickly became less and less threatening.  We received our syllabi (plural of syllabus for those who don't know) and realized that we had already done or at least covered each of the four papers that the class will require in Mrs. Swartz's English class.  The main challenge of this class, I believe, will be sitting through it.  They are three and a half hours long.  My professor seems to be somewhat taken by pornography, as well.  I think he mentioned it about five different times in the class.  He reminds me of Mr. Carpenter, though, in the way that he will get off on rabbit trails and by his attitudes toward teaching and learning.  It doesn't bother me, though, because these things make the class less boring and easier, respectively.  He asked how many dual enrollment students were in the class.  There were the three of us from OCA and two others, if I saw correctly.  One of them was a girl who new Aaron Moews of former OCA fame.  I wonder if I should bother with meeting the other dual enrollment students.  The semester is over June 20, and it's not like I don't know anyone else in the class.  My first paper is due on Tuesday.  It's a personal experience essay.  I am a little stumped on what to write about.  It doesn't have to be true, but it shouldn't be unrealistic.  It also has to appeal to a universal audience.  Once again, I'm ready to write, but I can't seem to find a way to get started.

     Survivor: The Amazon has entered the final stage.  The four are Jenna, Rob, Matthew, and Butch.  Heidi got voted out Thursday night (while I was in the third hour of my English class).  If only Jenna could have gone with her...  I watched The Early Show's interview with Heidi, and a few people called in and asked some very accusatory questions.  I guess I'm not the only one who doesn't respect them.  The caller pointed out that she said she was an important part of the tribe, but all anyone ever saw was her, Jenna, and Alex lying around and do nothing.  She blamed it on editing.  Thursday night's episode also showed Matt saying that he had convinced both Rob and Butch that he plans to sit with them in the final two.  He said that he knows he'll have to betray one, but he doesn't know which.  I didn't know Matt had that in him.  The finale is tomorrow night, and I personally can't wait.  I don't really know who I think will win.  I will be happy if anyone but Jenna wins, but typically, the people I don't like make it farther than I want them to.  Sometimes, one or even both of the final two castaways are very uncanny.  Take Kim J. from Survivor: Africa (a season of Survivor which I think was really good, regardless of what the rest of the world thinks).  She didn't really merit being number two.  Ethan simply won immunity and chose her over Lex for his opponent in the final two, which in turn won him the game five votes against two.  Then there's Sean from Survivor: Marquesas.  Okay, so I just didn't like him.  But as I recall, he caused problems with the other players, and he still got voted out one episode before the final four.  In that light, Jenna may make it to the final two, in which case I'm pretty sure she would lose to her opponent, save for maybe Rob.  I don't know what I think about Butch.  I know he's a good person.  I've just seen Rob and Matt take fire before and work their ways out of it.  They are more developed characters than Butch is, so naturally I would like to see them win more.  If Rob wins the final immunity, he would probably take Matt to the final two.  Not because of alliance, but because Butch is so blameless.  He make take Jenna if she's still around, but let's hope she's not.

     That's about it for today.  I have four more days of regular school left.  Friday is the first exam day, and the following Wednesday is the last.  I'm sort of excited about summer, but then I remember I will not be seeing many people.  I will probably lose touch with most of them, and that bothers me.  Oh well.  I should learn to be self-sufficient.  Until next time.  Venas tol.

     I'm kind of tired.  We had a whacky schedule at school today in light of the senior-faculty softball game.  It's our typical end of the year in-school softball game.  Everything is falling in place for the end of the year.  Friday is our reward field trip, where those who have gotten no detentions or have been on the honor roll at least once during the year are eligible to miss a day of school for a trip to some theme park.  Last year we went to Wild Adventures in Valdosta, Georgia.  At the time, I thought that trip was pretty pathetic, but I like it now that it's over.  It was really nice because I spent time with some people that I didn't know too well.  That's where I first really interacted with Nygaard.  Meghan and I hung out, too.  I also have vague memories of Channing and Sammi.  This year, the trip is to Islands of Adventure.  This means that there will be plenty of stuff to do, so unlike last year, I probably won't end up laying down on a bench beside a giraffe just to kill time.  However, that means that the day will probably go by quicker, and I won't be spending time with many new people.  Just as good, though.  I'll look forward to spending time with some people I already know. ^_^

     Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of this site.  The first update ever ("Her Name is Noel") was posted the day after last year's end of the year field trip.  Ironic, isn't it, that tomorrow's one year anniversary update will be posted the day before this year's field trip?  I'd go on further about what has happened with this site over it's first year of production, but I think I'll save that for tomorrow.

     Saturday was a good day, even if I had to sacrifice my one day that I get to sleep as long as I want.  I woke up early to go paintballing with the basketball team plus Nygaard and Hoss.  This time was a little bit different than last time.  Not only was it much, much hotter, this time I played a little more aggressively.  I kind of regret that, though.  I wasted a lot of paintballs.  I did get more accomplished this time, including being the one to complete a capture the flag-esque game with cover fire provided by Jer and Carty.  Also worthy of mention was the relentless pounding that Carty and I rained upon Ryan in an attack/defend game centered around a two-story wooden fort.  It's all equal, though, because Kyle and Kevin unleashed their fury on me in a pincher attack which I still have bruises from.  After the paintballing, some of us went to see X2: X-Men United.  Sarah joined us, as well.  I have to say, it is one of the sweetest movies I have seen in while.  It's definitely a good way to start off the summer.  I think the summer of 2001 remains undefeated for good and/or hyped movies: The Mummy Returns, Tomb Raider, Shrek, Pearl Harbor, my beloved Moulin Rouge, Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, and I'm pretty sure A Beautiful Mind.  Granted, not all of those movies were good, and I didn't see Moulin Rouge or A Beautiful Mind in the theater (though I wanted to), but it was still a pretty fruitful summer for movies.  I haven't kept up too much with the upcoming movies for this summer.  All I know about is X2 and Hulk.  I did see Ewan McGregor on the Regis and Kelly show today talking about his new movie, Down with Love.  I don't regularly watch Regis and Kelly.  In fact, I don't even know how it got recorded on my handy-dandy UltimateTV, but either way, I'm glad it did.  The movie sounds really interesting.  It takes place in the '60s, but it tries to mimic the movies of the time.  It sounds like it will be worth seeing, if only to hear the song that Ewan McGregor and Renee Zelweger perform for the credits.  

     Tomorrow is the first day of my English class at CFCC.  I'm a little bit nervous, but have a feeling that the real anxiety will set in tomorrow as the time draws even closer.  I guess this is the last update I will ever make in this first year of my website.  Again, I'll reserve the nostalgic reflections for tomorrow, but I guess I'll just say for now that it's been a lot of fun.  Read the archives.  Update over.

     Mercy me, this has been a strange night.  I don't know how I feel right now.  I'm not even writing with a purpose.  That's either a recipe for stellar success or utter disaster.  I just got done talking to an old friend.  We were never that close when she went to OCA until leaving last year.  But I had a really nice, really meaningful conversation about some things that have been all over my mind lately.  This friend, as well as the topic discussed will remain nameless.  This is partly because I don't think many people would respect what I want to convey right now if they knew the details.  Life is so complicated, you know?  And we only make it that way ourselves.  My life is up and down in a constant roller coaster of worries and carelessness.  The care-free times, those are the ones that life is just easiest at.  And the times of worries are where I learn my lessons and face my trials, most of which I feel like I fail to grasp.  I had pure, simple logic laid before me tonight, and I still can't put my worries aside.  Chalk it up to these raging teenage hormones (some of which I am convinced are estrogen, because most guys just don't act like this).  Ah, I've said too much, as usual.  Anywho, you knew this was coming, so let's just get it out: Last year was great because it was care-free.  I worried some, and when I did, I felt like I do know.  But none of it perpetuated.  Now that I've said my usual piece about the past, let me muse about the future.  Lately, I've been annoying even myself by how much I talk about the past, and that has to stop.  So, sorry to anyone who has been bothered by it.  This school year has had a lot of troubles, and just a lot of stuff.  I tell people that I think this has been a really full year.  That's what I mean when I say that.  This year has just had so many chapters with so many characters in the story of my life.  And that has been rough.  It hasn't hurt me, really, but it's just been really stressful and taxing.  Last year wasn't like that.  This year was the first time it was.  So I wonder if this year has been the bridge between the mostly-care-free-and-sometimes-stressful and mostly-stressful-and-sometimes-care-free stages of my life.  I want my future to be like last year, to be care-free, but taking matters into my own hands to achieve this end will mean changing some of the things about me that separate me from other people.  I would lay down and die before I would be the same as the masses.  I hate some of the things that make me different from other people, but if they are the price of having the good kinds of uniqueness, then so be it.  I am an odd or an end or something like that in this crazy world, and I love being unique so long as it's not a detached, awkward form of unique.  My life's uniqueness seems to change with the roller coaster ride.  When I'm up, my uniqueness fits the bill perfectly, making my life all the more enjoyable.  And when I'm down, it makes me feel like I'm out in left field without another soul in sight.  I'm writing tonight after that conversation because I appreciate what was said to me.  It was one of those left field moments, but I didn't feel alone.  And maybe it's just the roller coaster again, but I am really fortunate to have friends like this.  Again, I'm not close with this person.  Everything tonight was so out of the blue.  But I know that this is what friends are for.  I try all the time to be there for whoever I can.  People come to me and throw their problems out there.  Usually secrets get thrown in the mix, too.  And I care.  I honestly, honestly care about what people come to me for advice for.  I don't know why you all trust me so much, though.  It's not misplaced.  But do I really have that much of an impact?  Because, when you are sitting across from me sharing your secrets and spilling your problems, I'm sitting across from you scrambling to try and find what I'll say next without sounding like an idiot.  We all know that I don't really converse well, and that creates a bit of a problem when I need to vocalize my understanding.  All I want when people come to me to share their worries is to make them feel good, but I feel like I usually don't.  I used to be better at it, I think.  Tonight, though, I sit on the other side.  I'm the one on the couch in the psychiatrist's office.  Tonight, my gratitude goes out to the friend who took some time to listen to me and tell me why everything is probably going to be okay.  This isn't the end of my demons.  But it's a start.  Sometimes that push in the right direction is what I need.  I know what I need to do with my problems right now.  I knew that before this evening.  But now I feel better about it.  I have hope, which makes more of a difference than you can ever imagine.

     Summer is fast approaching.  There's still some four weeks of school left, if I'm not mistaken, but you can definitely tell that it's getting to be that time of year.  Things are just winding down.  The seniors have ten days of school left.  With the passing of April comes May, the harbinger of summertime fun.  It also brings the one year anniversary of this website, and I need some ideas for what to do to commemorate the occasion.  Email me if you have any.  Anywho, this year is almost over.  Much like the end of last year, my parents are now safely out of the state.  Actually, they are out of the country.  Needless to say, I'm enjoying the freedom.

     The current season of Survivor is winding down in conjunction with the end of the year, as it always does.  I'm wondering what tonight's episode is going to bring.  I was thinking about this today in history class.  Heidi and Jenna had better not make it to the final two.  I don't even want them to make it to the final four.  In order for that to happen, two of the next three episodes must end with them being voted out.  I'm hoping that will happen tonight, especially after reading one of the teasers for the next episode in my weekly Survivor email newsletter: "A Survivor promises to vote against a trusted ally, sending the wounded friend into a flutter."  However, last week's preview of the next episode revealed that tonight's is going to contain a tender moment between Heidi and Jenna, probably when Jenna receives some kind of good news from home.  At least, that's what I've concluded from other teasers in the email I just mentioned.  Of course, I have to remember Robb from last season.  He tearfully expressed his emotions to his tribe, which warmly received them.  Then they turned around and voted him out.  Not a moment too soon, if you ask me, but, I digress.  I just hope that either Jenna or Heidi gets voted out tonight.  The problem is that they don't pose any threat, and the sheer presence of women seems to be a big desire in this tribe.  Since Jenna and Heidi are considered attractive (although I say it's a matter of opinion), they are greatly valued.  And what's more, they are in an alliance with Rob and Alex.  That means that the few people outside of this alliance are more likely to go tonight.  Good people, like the shadow-man, Butch.  I call him the shadow-man, because at this point of the game, most of the low-lying, fly-under-the-radar types have gotten much more camera time and are becoming quite the plotting, scheming players themselves.  Butch is still far from the spotlight, though, so I don't really know what to think.  I like him, especially because he's not obnoxious and boisterous, and he's not just out there trying to get in good with the women, like most of the other guys are.  Rob, even though he fits that bill, I have a little bit of faith in.  I can see him voting them out when they start to cause trouble.  Alex, however...  I see Alex's alliance with them as being based more on the fact that they are young, obnoxious, arrogant, and "hot".  Not that I think Alex is necessarily obnoxious and arrogant, but he associates with that group because of the age similarities (even though I think Alex is older than all other members of the younger alliance).  Anyways, the point is, Heidi and Jenna bother me for many reasons, and I want little more tonight than to see one of them voted out.

     And while we're on the subject on TV, I guess I should finally mention that Iron Chef is coming to an end.  The amazingly-cool cooking competition is being ended with a series of battles between the Iron Chefs themselves.  First was a battle between Masahiko Kobe, Iron Chef Italian, and Chen Kenichi, Iron Chef Chinese.  Chen won, making that battle Kobe's last.  I have dedicated my locker at school as a small memorial to the wonder that Kobe was.  Next was a battle between Hiroyuki Sakai, Iron Chef French, and Hasakaru Morimoto, Iron Chef Japanese.  The victor was Sakai, ousting Morimoto from Kitchen Stadium for evermore.  Last weekend's episode was a battle between the winners of these two battles, which I have yet to watch.  The winner was proclaimed the "King of Iron Chefs", and will go against a very powerful challenger this weekend, one that I'm anxious to know the identity of.  I have set the UltimateTV (television recording device similar to a TiVo) to record a re-run of the battle between Sakai and Chen.  I like them both.  I liked all the Iron Chefs.  But I think my world will probably come crashing down on me if Chen is not the "King of Iron Chefs".  Still speaking of TV, Survivor is on right now, and I'd be pretty stupid not to go watch it after I just wrote all my predictions and comments about it.

     This week has been great.  I only had two days of class.  Wednesday, the Junior class took a trip to Cross Creek, the home of Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings.  Mrs. Swartz stopped by Publix on the way there, where Carty and I picked up some Doritos and Pepsi Blue along with our previously-ordered subs.  The drive was relatively short from there to Cross Creek, probably about forty minutes.  There was really nothing to be done there.  Elliott had brought a few sling shots and a bag of paintballs.  Jon, Elliott, Jeremiah, Carty, and myself quickly went to work pelting each other with them.  We played a few games, then Paul and Rory took Elliott and Jer's place for a final round.  Being about as bruised and dirty as I could handle, I decided to join the rest of the class for lunch.  Afterwards, we were joined by a group from North Marion to tour Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings's house.  Hardly any of our students went.  Carty and Meghan dropped out at the last minute, leaving me, Sarah, Candyce, Nicole, and Elliott as about the only ones from OCA that toured the house.  Even then, Sarah, Candyce, and myself left the tour early to walk the nature trail.  Sarah took to precisely decapitating small purple flowers with a thin stick, while I ended up smashing most of them into the ground with my bigger stick.  When we rejoined the class, they were playing some old games like Red Rover Red Rover and Human Tug-of-War.  I think we all got to know each other a little better playing the latter, if you know what I mean.  More relaxation was followed by a hike down a tiny trail to a river.  The water was brown, presumably from acid shed by the trees.  Nearly the whole male population of the class rolled up their pants, got in, and started walking upstream.  I happily declined, returning to the picnic area with Mrs. Swartz and company.  When the guys finally came back, they were making plans to do the same thing this weekend in a different river.  We left soon after, returning to the OCA parking lot a little while after school had let out.

     Yesterday and today were also abnormal days.  I was among the many select students who got to skip class to help with elementary field day.  I was assigned to the 50 yard dash—same as last year.  Dave Hilburn and Nate were my fellow helpers at the activity.  By mid-morning on both days, all classes had completed the 50 yard dash, leaving me pretty much free to go hang out at other events.  I remember last year's field day.  It was quite the memory.  In fact, I just bought some pictures from last year's field day at the unused yearbook picture sale.  I thought about bringing my camera this year to take my own pictures, but I forgot on Thursday.  Not to mention I can't find my camera right now.  Today was tough.  Last night was incredibly long.  I went to the softball game at school, then got home and got online for a while.  I was up until 4:00 AM working on the research paper that was due today, and I didn't get in bed until 4:30 AM.  But, you know, these past few days have been so cool.  This whole week has really been cool.  It started with reminiscence of the Junior/Senior last weekend with pictures and stories, then morphed into the field trip and now field day.  And each day had a counterpart night that I spent online talking to people about meaningful subjects.  It was all just great.  This week has been awesome.

     I have more things to write about in this update.  It would be more like a classic summer update, which I remember as being the easiest, most off-the-cuff updates.  I'd really suggest checking out the archive sometime.  Anyways, what I was saying is that I'm finding it harder to write about stuff like I did over the summer.  It was all about the TV shows I watch and things like that.  It's about things I know no one was interested in, but it's what I found easiest to write.  Now, though, I seem to be losing interest in putting those things on this site.  I seem to make it more and more like an OCA companion guide.  While this is what I find myself wanting to write, I fear that the site is getting boring.  Maybe summer will bring a change.  I don't know...  When life gets like it is right now, it seems hard to update.  It's not that I don't want to commemorate the moment with updates, but that I find it hard to sit down and write them out.  Oh well.  What are you going to do?  For now, this happy but distant little boy is signing off.

     Junior-Senior has come and gone.  Last night was great.  I met Sarah at her house at about 5:30 PM, took some pictures, and we headed off for the banquet to the tune's of Linkin Park's Meteora.  She and I share a common liking to the song "Nobody's Listening".  We arrived at the banquet as some of the first ones there.  Nicole and Elliott, Ashley and Austin, and Katie and Joel were the only students already there, I believe.  Elliot, large block of mighty sinew that he is, brought a laugh or two in his white-with-black-trim tux.  He would have looked so perfect as a villain in a James Bond movie.  Sarah and I checked out a collage of some pictures from earlier in the year (and a few from last year, too) of juniors and seniors.  I was surprised to see myself in quite a few of them.  Then the others started to arrive—Jon, Jer, Ashlee, Carty and Meghan, Nygaard and Katelyn, Fluck and his date, and a lot more people that I don't know or forgot to mention.  The location of the banquet was a big house which is actually surprisingly close to my house.  It was a really nice atmosphere, except for the cow pasture in the distance, the John Deere tractor parked right next to the banquet area, and the pet dog weaving his way through tuxes and formal evening gowns.  But I liked it.  It fit OCA very well.  Dinner was served—pork (loin, if I'm not mistaken), chicken, beans, salad, and the like.  And then...Nate arrived.  I don't think one thing Nate was talking about made any kind of sense, but it was hilarious.  He dubbed the dinner "million dollar food" because there was no rice, and the dog he referred to as "Poopsy".  Truly the life of the dinner portion of the party.  

     Dinner was followed by an inspirational message by the Merricamp Road Church of Christ's youth minister, affectionately known as "Hoss".  "Hoss" succeeds Mrs. Thompson and her husband as the youth director at that church's youth group.  Mrs. Thompson was in attendance at the banquet as well.  After his presentation, some seniors were blindfolded and given a few whacks at a piñata, which looked horribly out of place hanging from a tree limb earlier in the evening.  This concluded the planned events of the banquet.  I stayed to reminisce with Mrs. Thompson about the time late last year when I pledged to her that I would behave better in her class, only to turn around and burst out laughing at the goofy clipart Carty had sabotaged my computer screen with.  I said goodbye, though I plan to see her tomorrow, and the group consisting of Sarah, myself, Carty, Meghan, Jon, Jer, and Ashlee headed out to the parking area.

     After standing around for a long time, we all headed off to the bowling alley up by OCA and McDonalds.  We kept our formal garb on.  There's something very cool about bowling in a vest and bowtie.  Except I was the only one wearing a bowtie.  Anyways, I digress.  We bowled a game each, Sarah and I bringing up the rear on our team with some pretty lousy scores, and Nygaard or Nate, I don't remember which, breaking a hundred.

     Here we all parted ways and walked out to our cars.  I assume Jon, Jer, and Nygaard headed home.  Carty, I'm guessing, took Ashlee and Meghan home, then returned home himself.  As for Sarah and I, we drove back to the mystical land of Sparr where the evening had begun for us.  So that's it.  Junior-Senior, the thing we had planned and looked forward to since last year, came and went.  Carty said it was too short, but I sort of disagree.  I think it was just right.  All in all, I don't think I would have changed anything, except maybe I would have bought a backdrop like we had looked at for the beginning of the year.  Normally I would say right about now that you could look at the pictures I took of this whole deal, but, amidst the picture taking at Sarah's house, I forgot to bring my camera to the banquet.  So I really have no pictures of the location or the attendees.  To make matters worse, I forgot my program, which I'm pretty sure listed all those in attendance at the event.  At least I got a flower and a glass as mementos, which by some miracle survived the ride in Sarah's truck.  Normally I would probably say something that attempted to be deep and meaningful, mentioning how this marks the beginning of the end, but I'm looking back on this night all too fondly right now.  I have a feeling that the events of last night are going to join the ranks of some of my favorite memories from the past few years.

     Have you ever talked to someone that you haven't spoken to in a long time, not because you realized that you haven't talked to them for a while and you make it a point to, but just because it happens.  You encounter that person when you've both got nothing better to do that sit and have a conversation.  And as you talk, you realize more and more that this person is a very cool friend.  You want to talk like this more often, and you begin to wonder why you ever stopped.  Strangely, I can't remember who I've done this with, but I know I have done it.  Not recently, but I know I have done this before.  Even stranger is that what made me think about this is the Counting Crows CD that I am now listening to.  I fell asleep on the couch sometime not long after 5:00 PM, and when I woke up at four minutes 'till 11:00 PM, I started thinking about some music I hadn't listened to in a while.  I popped in the second Moulin Rouge soundtrack, but that was short-lived.  Then I decided I was in the mood for some Counting Crows.  I got Recovering the Satellites and stuck it in the CD player.  And now I'm wondering, why did I ever leave?  This music brings back so many memories, namely from ninth grade.  Then I remembered the feeling of getting reacquainted with an old friend.  It's kind of the same thing.

     Tuesday was the blood drive at OCA.  I got my permission slip all signed, and I was so ready to give blood.  I skipped out of fourth period and made my way to the blood drive bus-like vehicle in the far end of the OCA parking lot.  Nygaard and Sweet were both there already.  Carty came for moral support, only after stealing my permission slip and trying to physically stop me from going through with it out of a primitive, savage-like belief that I would be losing part of myself.  After going through some registration information with a nurse, I was led into a tiny room that was probably a bathroom in the vehicle's former life.  My blood pressure was taken, and a nasty little device stuck my finger, drawing some blood which was later identified as type A.  This had set me on edge, what with my girlish disposition and all.  She asked if felt sick at all, and I said I did, but only because of the needles.  She then told me that if I felt bad about needles and blood, I should not give blood.  Reluctantly, I accepted, grabbed a Gatorade, walked out to the the parking lot, and squatted down to avoid passing out.  Carty was hopping around me like a little cricket, and when I got some breath I told him what happened.  He was now infatuated by the process and convinced me to go back to watch Sweet and Nygaard having their blood drawn.  I was feeling better by the time I got back to the bloodmobile and when I was able to watch Nygaard get the needle inserted into his arm, I told them I would go ahead and give blood, too.  But, alas, I was already on the record as a "deferral".  I don't pretend to understand what that means, but I can't help thinking that it is medical speak for "wimp".  So anyways, Carty was now so intrigued that he abandoned his former superstitions and volunteered his own veins.  After eeking out a pint, he announced to the bus that he was about to pass out.  Then he did.  A few seconds later he was back to consciousness.  He downed some Gatorade and ate a few Nutterbutters, and we were off.  I think Carty has now reverted to his blood-misering ways.

     Today I got to see Mrs. Stephanie Thompson, mentioned briefly in the update titled "A Light that Shines on Me", and more memorably in the one called "The Changing State of the World I Know".  Both are available in the archives.  Something seemed so strangely right about seeing her back in the halls of OCA.  She fit perfectly, like she was still a teacher there.  I sometimes wonder what this year would be like if she never left.  For one thing, I think she would have pushed to have BSTIII available during a different timeslot than that of the Juniors' English class.  Homecoming would have been a little more hectic with her running around motivating everyone.  The Junior/Senior would have been considerably different—not better, just different.  Probably planned and funded better, but not necessarily better overall.  This whole year has just been drastically different than I had imagined.  I think that is one reason why I said it sucked at the beginning, and why I still say that there is no comparison to last year.  Mrs. Thompson is just an element of OCA that makes the whole thing seem a little bit out of whack in her absence.  Oh well, though.  What are you going to do?

     Speaking of the Junior/Senior, it's tomorrow.  I visited the location on Wednesday.  Overall, I am pretty pleased with it.  It's a lot like I imagined it would be when we were planning it last year.  When we started thinking more realistically and naming possible locations this year, I ditched my no doubt Moulin Rouge-inspired images of an outdoor banquet.  But it seems that the banquet is in fact going to be a lot like I formerly envisioned, and for that I'm glad.  I'm also glad that Mrs. Thompson will be attending the Junior/Senior which she so fervently anticipated through all of last year.  I plan to take plenty of pictures which will be posted here, presumably before the weekend is out.

     On a technical note, I have (FINALLY) been able to upload this site to my new ISP's server, which means that those problems everyone has been experiencing with the site not loading should be a thing of the past.  As I write this, I have yet to figure out how to get the link on www.ckasper.com to send viewers to the new server instead of the old, defective one.  I plan to have that fixed very soon, but then again, I planned to have this whole problem taken care of a long time ago.  So for now, if you really want to, you can bookmark http://home.att.net/~gkasper/mywebsite.html, which is the future home of this site.  Or, you can just keep accessing the site through www.ckasper.com and wait just a little longer.  Either way, I'll be sending a multi-recipient email like I did when I liked that girl over the summer, except this one will inform you to change your bookmarks rather than asking you for a phone number.  

     Anyways, I think that's about all I've got for now.  I'll probably update again after the Junior/Senior.  Until then, farewell.

     I have returned a day early from Clearwater Christian College's College Days.  You can check out my pictures of the trip by clicking here, or by clicking the "Spring Break '03 - Clearwater" link on the bar on the left.  I've had to take down all other pictures, including my cool logo that Jon made me, just to make room for the Jacksonville and Clearwater pictures.  I'll leave them up for a week or two and then take them down and put up the old picture pages again.

     Carty and I left around 5:ish yesterday, and, despite the nasty storm and my hap-hazard navigational skills, we arrived safely in Clearwater just as the sun was setting.  I took some nifty albeit low-quality video of our arrival.  Unfortunately, I haven't the webspace to load any of the videos on the site, nor do I have the patience to upload them to the server on my slow connection.  Anywho, the first order of business was to check in, which I had read in one of the emails I received from the college was to be done in the gym.  Tipped off by the crowd standing outside, we deduced that the building we passed right before parking the car was the gym and headed inside.  We both received a t-shirt and a nametag in exchange for our $20 registration fee.  The nametags were multi-functional:  the front bore our names (imagine that), and the back had our room numbers and team names for the campus-wide game of Clue to be played later that night.  A considerably burly fellow by the name of Matt showed us to our rooms.  In the process of going out to the car to get our bags and walking to the dorms, we asked him a few questions.  One of the first that Carty asked was, "Do you like it here?"  He said yes, and that things were getting better because of changes that were being made.  I jumped right on that one, asking exactly what was changing.  "Well, like coffee pots on each floor."  I tried not to laugh.  I guess that's cool if you're a student there and you've been coffee-less for several years, but I was hoping for something a little better than that.  However, he did go on to say that there was a possibility that dress code changes would be made, but that there was no talk of changing the rules about dating and the like.  We asked more questions, though I can't really remember what they were.  Matt showed us to our rooms, conveniently located just a few doors apart from each other.  No one was in Carty's room, and his bunk had no mattress.  When I entered my room, though, I was greeted by a pants-less blond sprite by the name of Andy Smith.  Someone known as Sniff was in the bunk under mine, presumably asleep, though he did comment that their planned prank had been foiled by my early arrival.  They had obtained a wheelchair and were going to push Andy around and try to pass him off to me as a mentally retarded kid.  I probably would have believed it, too.

     Having dropped our bags in our rooms, we returned to the gym's exterior to wait for the game of Clue to start.  It was quite a while before it did, but we somehow ended up being late to it.  I missed the presentation of the rules, so most of the game's concept was lost on me.  I walked across the gym floor and joined my team—the Tigers—as well as met its leaders.  I'm afraid I don't remember their names, but that's cool.  They probably thought I was weird anyways when they both offered me a hand to shake, but because I had spit and chocolate on mine, I told them they didn't want to do that.  

     The game of Clue was mostly running around campus finding people in costumes and asking them questions that I assume are asked in Clue.  I don't know—I've never actually played it.  My team came in second, winning us all Clearwater Christian College key chains and a jump start on the line for ice cream.  By this point, Carty was close to going homicidal on me, you know, with the dark looks and asking me to pick my poison.  He just wasn't having a good time.  Not that I was bowled over by it myself, mind you.  After the game of Clue, we were given the option of staying in the gym and watching March Madness, which I understand is some sort of basketball event, or doing whatever until a 10:30 PM curfew.  Carty and I walked around a lot, doing mostly nothing, although we did shoot some hoops at their outdoor basketball courts and sit in Carty's car listening to the new Linkin Park CD that I got him for his birthday.  Speaking of that, "Faint" and "Nobody's Listening" are, thus far, my two favorite songs from that CD.  At curfew, we headed back to the dorms.  Carty's room was still unoccupied, and his bunk still had no mattress.  My room was absent of the beings known as Smith and Sniff, but in their stead was a calmer, fully-awake, and thankfully, fully-clothed young man whose name I believe was Derek or BoDerek or something like that.  From here on out, he shall be known as Derek.  Derek was playing his guitar when we got there.  I spent about five minutes clearing all of Sniff's stuff off on my bunk, which is visible sitting on the floor and ironing board in my pictures of the trip.  Derek received just about every question that Carty and I had about Clearwater.  He answered us in a very non-handbook style.  We got quite an insider's perspective.  He said he had a seven-page paper due the next day, so he started working at his computer.  It seemed like hours of thumb-twiddling went by, with me laying on the top bunk and Carty sitting on the floor.  Eventually, though, Carty decided to go back to his room for the night.  I gave him my sleeping bag that I had laid over the mattress, seeing as he had nothing to sleep on.  Eventually, Andy returned to the room, and he brought with him about 8,259,613 other people.  The proctor called a lights-out soon after, but apparently that signals nothing more than the lights must be turned out, for Andy and his gang of misfit children kept on partying, Clearwater style.  And apparently that partying revolves heavily around showering.  They invited me to go take a shower with them, but I happily declined.  I don't know how much time passed, but they returned, and continued their merry-making.  One of them wore nothing more than a shirt and a raccoon-skin cap.  Somewhere amidst all this hustle and bustle, I was given a blanket to lay over the mattress.  I took it on the advice that I didn't want to be laying in some of the stuff that had been on that mattress.  The group decided to find some unsuspecting visitors to play their wheelchair prank on, and, judging from their stories when they returned, it worked on one person.  I don't know when, but sometime, the majority of the guys decided to go to bed, and Andy and Sniff followed suit not long after.  Derek did, too, but only as a temporary cover.  He still wasn't done with his paper, and when one of the guys that was previously in the room decided to go blow an incredibly loud horn in the hallway, he said the proctor would suspect our room immediately.  Well, we didn't hear from the proctor, and before I fell asleep, I saw Derek head back to the computer for some more late-night report writing.  A man after my own heart.  

     I woke up at some point in the night to see Andy butt naked, rummaging through some sort of something.  I was pretty used to this kind of thing by now.  I think he had said earlier that he went to work at "three", so I'd assume that meant 3:00 AM.  Although, I was under the impression that he was a security guard there at the school, and I did see him in chapel the next morning.  Security guards are supposedly exempt from chapel, so I don't know.  Anyways, I woke up many times during the night, but at 7:15 AM, I got up, got dressed, and woke Carty up.  I headed to the bathroom to shave and brush my teeth, waited on Carty to do his hygiene stuff, and then we both headed off to breakfast in Cathcart Hall.  It was pretty good, especially for school cafeteria food.  We then returned to the gym for a small presentation/devotional for the College Days attendees.  After that, the students started flowing in for chapel.  The better part of the gym was filled with folding chairs that were soon occupied by the students.  Andy, now wearing clothes, came up to me and talked for a little while.  He was considerably mellower this morning.  In the course of talking, I asked if he knew a Brad Shaddix, which he heartily replied that he did.  It was cool to meet people that knew people from my world.  Almost every time I told a student I was from Ocala, they would ask if I knew someone.  And I had heard of every one of them.  As the chapel was getting full, Carty and I saw saw Seth Hohman walk by.  I had been keeping my eyes peeled for him as well as for Jessica, since I saw her name on a nametag at the registration table the night before.

     Chapel wasn't bad.  I don't have too much of a problem with OCA's chapels, but Carty said this chapel wasn't bad, so I'll take his word for it.  After chapel, we said hi to Seth and asked about Jessica.  He said she was coming today along with Nina and Chris (meaning Chris Pryor of past OCA attendance).  I never knew Seth when he was at OCA, but it was still nice to see a familiar face and observe him in this post-high school state.  Carty and I then headed off for Education Psychology in Arthur E. Steele Hall.  This was a pretty nice class.  It started with a quiz, then went into a lecture, and ended with the students splitting into groups with the visitors and working on worksheets with us.  Next was History of Western Civilization I, which was nothing more than a film about Joseph Stalin.  I guess we picked a bad class to visit.  Derek told me that they watched Band of Brothers (I think this was that special that was on HBO at the beginning of tenth grade.  And yes, I did specifically choose to say "at the beginning of tenth grade" over "last year" or "in 2001" just so that I could mention that year again) recently in that class, too.

     A presentation on the admissions process was next.  It was very short, and I got one of my biggest questions answered—does CCC accept state scholarships?  The answer is yes, so long as it is a Florida state scholarship.  Now, if I can just get a Florida state scholarship...  We went to lunch after that, and this too was surprisingly good, consisting of Cuban sandwiches, black beans, rice, and fish sticks.  Granted, the fish sticks were a little out of place, but it was still good.  We then went to English Composition I.  It was a test day in that class, and the students were just taking the test and leaving.  I thought about going over to the Probability and Statistics class just because of the stories Mr. Shaddix had told us about it.  But I had told Carty that we could leave after the last class, a day early.  While he had perked up considerably from the night before, I think he was happy to be leaving.  I wasn't too sad to be leaving, myself.  I distributed some little slips of paper with this site's address around the Merritts Hall dorms.  I left one in the change receptacle of a soda machine.  I even left one on the top napkin of a napkin dispenser in Cathcart Hall.  And yes, I know how dorky it is that I did all that.  So we gathered our things together and loaded up Carty's car.  I went to look for some fellow College Days people to tell them that we were leaving.  I didn't want to catch any resistance from a staff member, but I didn't want them to go looking for us when we didn't show up for this football game thing that they were transporting the College Days attendees to and from tonight.  But I couldn't find the people I was looking for, so we just left.

     And that's that.  What's my take on all this college mumbo-jumbo?  Good question.  Friday night was pretty lame.  But it's like I said to Carty:  I didn't go there to eat ice cream and play Clue.  I went to check out the classes.  And that's what I did.  In that respect, I was rather satisfied.  If I go to a Christian college, it will almost definitely be Clearwater.  I liked UNF up in Jacksonville a lot, though.  So much nicer than the University of Florida...  It looked like what I had envisioned college as being like, before I saw UF's campus and assumed that my idea of college was skewed.  I don't know.  I have decisions to make.  And one of the strongest feelings that I as well as Carty have walked away from this whole experience with is this:  I don't want to go to grow up.

     "Ahh, the sleeve. That's where I wear my heart. Good for keeping you warm or looking stylish, especially if it's one of those baseball jersey-types. One of the styles in long sleeves these past few years has been to print an image or a word down them vertically. I find that pretty cool."  You've got to love one word.  That was my entry for today.  The word was "sleeve".  I highly recommend checking out one word.  At least go look for some of my entries, listed under the name "Phobos".  I post every day, though I missed the past few because of my trip to Jacksonville, and I'll be missing more on my trip to Clearwater tomorrow.  It's advertising for this site, though.  I post a link with every entry, so maybe one day someone will click my name and be sent here.

     I've had Zelda for a day now, and I'm progressing quite nicely.  I finished the classic Zelda starter quest—collecting three items to unlock something that usually effects the rest of the game—so I assume I'm about to really get settled into the plot.  The three items in this are large pearls with weird symbols on them.  The bear the names of the three goddesses from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.  There is a lot of stuff that has carried over from Ocarina of Time in a very wink-wink, nudge-nudge style.  For instance (this could be considered a spoiler, but I don't think anyone who reads this even cares about this game), the Kokiri children from Ocarina of Time are in this.  They have abandoned their human forms, though, and developed freaky wooden bodies with leaf faces.  The Deku tree is back, which I assume is the older version of the big sapling that sprung up in front of the dead Deku tree in Ocarina of Time.  Normally, I wouldn't try to piece together any kind of continuity between this Zelda and the last.  It has always been my belief that each Zelda game stars the same characters that were in the last and takes place in the same Hyrule as the last, but has a story that exists independently of the other games' stories.  This is the only way that I hold onto my purist tendencies and not die of frustration at the lack of continuity between games.  But this game is different.  It actually covers why things are different from Ocarina of Time.  This game is an honest-to-goodness sequel to Ocarina of Time.  And the belief that I scoffed at for so long, and wrote off as an obsessive fanboy's desperate attempt to find meaning in an upside-down universe such as Zelda's has been written into the story.  It's official now, at least for this game:  This Link is not the same one that was in Ocarina of Time.  The Wind Waker takes place many years after that Link lived.  And Hyrule is now gone, destroyed by Gannon after breaking out of the Sacred Realm where he was sealed at the end of Ocarina of Time.  And what's my take on all this?  I'm cool with it.  This game is so different, so off the wall, that I don't care what they did with it.  My biggest problem with Ocarina of Time was that it had the potential to be the kind of Zelda that I would make.  But it wasn't.  This Zelda is so wacky, so screwed up, that I'm not trying to make any sense of it.  I'm just playing it.  And I'm enjoying it.

     My Jacksonville pictures page is experiencing some difficulties.  I have met my quota of pictures, or webspace, or something.  So I have to ditch some of the pictures.  I think I'll get rid of some of the 11th grade pictures as well as the pictures of me outside of school.  After a little while, I'll drop the Jacksonville page and probably do the same with the Clearwater page a little while after it's been posted.  I may also lighten the load of the 10th grade year pictures page, but as I said online earlier tonight, that is holy ground.

     Well, this is it.  I'm leaving tomorrow (or rather, today) around 4:00 or 4:30 for Clearwater Chrisitan College.  Hopefully I'll get more pictures this time.  And hopefully I can fit them all on the site.  So, until I return, happy existing.  

     Judging from the weather and this week of relief from school, one could deduce that spring has sprung.  And so far, this break has been pretty nice.  I got back this morning from the trip to Jacksonville that I mentioned in the last update.  Yesterday morning, Carty arrived around 9:00 AM.  Jessica was going to tag along for the ride to see a friend who lived in Jacksonville, but she was unable to attend.  So Carty and I snapped a picture of ourselves, popped in my Jerry Seinfeld CD, and headed north on 441 for the waterfront metropolis known as Jacksonville.  After taking the wrong onramp for I-10 and ending up going in the wrong direction, we found ourselves backtracking a little until we were heading the right way.  Once arriving in Jacksonville, we took another wrong turn.  Rather than backtrack on a crowded highway several hundred feet above some ominous-looking water, we decided to just go with the way we were going.  Carty used to live in Jacksonville, after all, and he said he could find the way.  From there, he seemed to fade in and out of familiarity with his surroundings.  We traveled down Beach Boulevard, which was a road listed to be taken much later in the adventure on our hand-written instructions.  Never quite revealing if he knew where he was going or not, Carty somehow delivered me to his aunt's house in a cozy, shady neighborhood around 11:45 AM.  We wanted to see the university that day; the next day brought Zelda for me and birthday present shopping for him.  Calling the university, we were informed that if we wanted to tour the campus that day, we had to be there by 1:00 PM.  It was 12:30.  Carty called his mom back in Ocala and asked how to get to the college.  She instructed us to take St. John's Bluff Road for about fifteen minutes.  Ack.  We darted out to the car, and, adhering to all speed limits, traffic lights, and road signs, rushed towards St. John's.  It took us a little while to find it, but we soon were on St. John's, heading for UNF.  We passed the school, which was surprisingly secluded from the road it was located on.  So, after backtracking once more, we headed down a road on the campus that was very reminiscent of the entrance to Disney World.  Ignoring the parking permit station, we followed the also Dinsey-esque signs to a parking lot that was supposed to be near the admissions office.  Well, it was, but that didn't stop us from getting out of the car and sprinting off in the opposite direction looking for it.  We decided to briefly split up.  I went into a building full of offices and the like and stopped a lady who was on her way out of the building.  She pointed me in the direction of the admissions office just as Carty was coming back from his search.  We ran to where she had described and, thankfully, made it in time for the tour.

     After filling out some typical informational cards and receiving some info packets (which I only now realize that I left in Carty's car this afternoon when I got home.  Carty, save mine.), we were off on the tour, guided by a young lady known as Jolie.  I think that was her name.  That, or I completely made it up.  Anywho, she showed us the courtyard full of people that Carty and I had run past like idiots moments before, then some buildings where various tests as well as free tutoring was offered.  We got to see a typical classroom, which was not very big at all.  The room held about as many students as the OCA English room of the 2001-2002 school year.  The room itself was smaller than the English room, but the number of desks was about the same.  We saw the gym, workout center, pool, and some restaurant that featured a Dance Dance Revolution machine.  Jolie could tell that Carty and I were finding a few things funny that no one else did.  She inquired about our smiles, but we didn't feel like explaining them in front of the whole group.  She showed us the emergency call boxes, where students could press a button and have one of their many "real police officers" respond in under two minutes.  More muffled laughter ensued.  We then passed the college of business, which I took a picture of.  The green, as they called it, was a large field of grass where Jolie told us that movies were often projected onto a large outdoor screen.  After seeing that, we went into what I think was an auditorium, though we only walked through an outer hallway.  This concluded the tour of the learning facilities.  Most of the group stayed for a tour of the dorms, but Carty and I as well as a few other people split at this point.  I don't know about the other people, but he and I were getting really bored.  I would have liked to see some dorms, but we were also planning on going to the beach, so I was a little preoccupied with that.

     Leaving the college, we went to lunch at a barbeque place known as Woody's.  After that, we went to Carty's grandparents' house which was incredibly close to his aunt's house.  Then we returned to his aunt's house, got into our bathing suits, and headed down to the beach, not before stopping at Carty's other grandmother's shop to see her.  The beach was windy, and the water was cold.  We took our shoes off and put our feet in the water, then turned around and went back to Carty's aunt's house to swim in her heated pool.  After dinner, we decided we were in an anime mood, and cruised around looking for comic shops.  We found two, both of which were closed.  We ended up in the mall, where we were approached by a fledgling rapper.  After listening to a few of his tracks, we bid him good evening and moved on.  Apparently Zelda got released late last night.  I saw a guy walking along in the mall reading the back of his copy.  I stopped him and asked what the deal was.  He said that if you preordered it, you could buy it the night before it was released.  This didn't really help me any since I preordered mine in Ocala and there was no GameCube at Carty's aunt's house.  So we returned to his aunt's house, watched the end of Batman Forever, and retired for the evening.

     This morning, we woke up at 8:30 and left shortly after.  We went to one of the comic shops to see if it was open, but it seems these places all keep the craziest business hours.  We then went to the mall again to see if I could get my copy of Zelda anyways, though I'm not really sure why.  Even more puzzling was why we then drove to the parking lot of a Best Buy and sat there for five to ten minutes waiting for it to open along with all the other electronics freaks.  When it dawned on us that we had no reason to go to Best Buy, we drove off.  As if we hadn't made enough useless stops, we saw some motor scooters that we hoped were Vespas and stopped to give them a closer examination.  Most unfortunately, they weren't Vespas, but that didn't stop me from snapping a few pictures.  One of them is me sitting on a yellow motor scooter, holding a can of Starbucks Double Shot.  The implication is that it is a can of the sour soda is that Naota doesn't like in FLCL, since it also comes in a small black can like Double Shot.  

     Finally we started to make our way back home, and after a few more wrong turns and backtracking, we ended up back on I-10, then 441, then back in Ocala.  We stopped at a comic store in Ocala, which was of course closed.  Then we went to EB where I was finally bestowed with my copy of The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker.  The guy even talked me into a 30% off players guide deal.  Corty was also the victim of clever advertising, as a Chic-fil-a sample roped him into buying some nuggets or something.  Thankfully, I am immune to the temptations of Chic-fil-a.  Carty dropped me off at my house (not without taking another wrong turn), and our first unsupervised roadtrip was complete.

     This is the only non-Jacksonville trip topic I'm going to cover in this update, but it's one I really wanted to talk about.  I think this feeling finally put itself into words last night as I sat in the car at a red light smelling my hands and arms:  The smell of chlorine is strangely romantic.  Alright, hear me out.  I don't know if I can explain this at all, but we all know that that has never stopped me before.  It's not the smell of chlorine like those tablets that you put in the float and set adrift in your pool.  It's not the eye-burning smell that I find subtly attractive.  It's the smell of the aroma on a bathing suit, or a damp towel.  It's the smell of it in a girl's hair.  And while there was no person on this trip that wore the chemical cologne of chlorine and made me recognize it's attractive properties, it's like I said—I finally had this feeling come out in words last night, even though I have had unrecognized experience with it in the past.

     I'll save my impressions of Zelda for another day.  Since I didn't make that first update that I said I would—the one before leaving for this trip—I'll try to update again before I leave for the trip to Clearwater.  Sarah isn't going to Clearwater anymore, so it looks like it's just going to be me and Carty, who will be meeting up with Nina and Jessica at some point.  You can check out my small page of pictures from the trip to Jacksonville here, or by clicking the new link on the sidebar.  I wish I had taken some more.  I have so many more mental pictures from the trip.  I'll try to take more on this next one.  And with that, I'm out.

     I'm even going to comment on how long it has been since I last updated.  I think it just goes without saying now that I don't update like I used to.  So, jumping right into it, I recently found a neat little website known as One Word.  Each day, a word is selected, and you get one minute to write about this word.  The point is not to define it, but rather to write whatever comes to mind.  I usually end up writing something that sounds like an excerpt from a letter or story.  The idea is to exercise your ability to write exactly what you are thinking without being concerned about editing.  You can check out the entries for the day when you submit yours, and you can also look at past entries.  Keep an eye peeled for some of mine, listed under the name Phobos, of course.

     I'm going to be taking a class at CFCC this summer.  I was so excited at first, because I thought a lot of people from school were going to be joining me.  Initially, Candyce, Sarah, Katie, Carty, Nicole, and Eliott were all going to be taking the class along with me.  Now it looks as though it will only be me, Candyce, Carty, Eliott, and maybe Nicole.  The class is English 1101—a writing class.  I decided it would be a good way to get a head start on college, check out the CFCC scene to see if I actually want to go there or not, and earn some extra credit for school, as I understand that CFCC classes count as honors classes at OCA.  I also want to get a job this summer.  Any ideas on where I could find one?

     Some of you may remember my sad report in the update entitled "I Remember"* way back in May of last year that the Fox series Dark Angel was cancelled.  I was happy to find out that the show now lives on in book form.  I recently ordered Dark Angel: Skin Game from Amazon.com.  I'm about halfway through it, and so far it is really good.  I have a horrible aversion to reading, so any book that has kept me this long must be good.  The story takes place immediately after the last episode of the TV series.  Actually, it begins during the last episode, and covers the end of the whole Jam Pony hostage situation and the transgenics declaring their independence.  From there, it seems to go more into a fan fiction-esque storyline.  Or rather, it turns into what would be a suitable episode of season three.  By that I mean that it contains a good story line having to do with the main plot, but not drastically affecting it.  Mostly a filler episode.  And I find that pretty cool.  I would much rather have side stories like that written and leave main story elements like White and the breeding cult, those weird tattoos on Max suddenly appearing, and where exactly Sandeman is, to the hope of another season of the TV series.  Speaking of the TV series, Dark Angel - The Complete First Season is going to be released on DVD on May 20.  As soon as I get the money, I am pre-ordering it in hopes that the second season will also make it to DVD.

     Survivor: The Amazon has started.  The whole male/female tribes thing is not too interesting.  It has definitely put a different spin on the show, but it's still not that interesting.  The men were not doing too well on the first three episodes, but last week they won both the reward and immunity challenges.  The immunity challenge was really cool.  It consisted of a bunch of ropes holding sections of two banners in a curled-up position.  The tribes had to build fire beneath the ropes and let them burn until the ropes snapped, unfurling part of their banner.  The tribe to burn all the ropes and exposed their entire banner won.  As I said, Tambaqui did this, sending Jaburu to Tribal Council.  And it is a sweet Tribal Council.  The tribes take a boat down the river to get there.  Outside, there is usually a bit of light from the moon and stars (I assume...the shot is usually an aerial view looking down).  But under the canopy of the trees, it is so dark.  Tribal Council actually looks scary.  And the "Walk of Shame" looks really sweet, too.  It is just a beaten-down path out into the jungle with some ambient lighting set up.  So far, the men and women have both visited Tribal Council twice.  My prediction, as well as my hope, is that the tribes will only remain separated by gender until the switch of members that took place in Survivor 3 and Survivor 4.  At least, that's how I would do it if I were running things.  I don't know if there will be any strings attached to the merge like there were on the last Survivor, but as far as the question of whether or not there will be a merge, I would say there most definitely will be.  

     I'm going to keep this update short.  I still intend to make smaller updates in higher frequency, even though it seems I have been doing the opposite.  Oh, I forgot to mention, Counting Crows is playing at Universal Studios Florida's Marti Gras concert series.  Me and Jonny are going.  I can't wait.  Well kids, that's all for now.  Until next time.

*For anyone who remembers, that update was posted the day of the absolutely monumental fight between Carty and myself after we took the final exam in Shank's life management class.  If you know what I did, or rather was forced to do, after school that day, you'll know why my day was described as crap.

     These were the words of one Dr. Francis Cartalion Rudolphian Se-ay, Jr.:  "Hey Kasper, your shoe's untied!"  I played in the game against Altamonte tonight longer than I have ever played in a game.  Everything I said before about being ready and losing the nervousness in the next game...all crap.  I was so tense.  I missed at least two passes.  Then out of nowhere, Carty yelled those words.  My shoes were so tied.  I wanted to hurt my friend. ^_^  He tells me that it, along with other outbursts like "Bite them!", was to loosen me up.  And honestly, I guess it did.  I turned around and sunk a shot.  First shot of the season.  First shot of my life.  Thanks to all who screamed for me when I scored.  That made me feel great.  I indulged in a little victory exclamation.  I'm at 100% for the season.  Heh, making one shot in a game this season was my goal.  Don't get me wrong, I'm still a pretty sorry player, but achieving a goal still feels good.  And hey, Coach said he was proud of those of us who subbed in.  That means a lot.  Jon scored; I scored; Carty played some awesome defense.  It was just a great game.  So as I sit here, curled up like a fetus, riding home on the bus, I have a little something to smile about.  I have just a little better of an outlook on the basketball portion of my life.  Thanks again for all the cheering and the high-fives.

     5:03.  Just a little less than seven hours left in 2002.  I didn't make the Christmas update or my birthday update, so I decided that I absolutely must do the New Years update I have had planned for a while.  I've been so lazy with updating.  I've been lazy with everything, actually.  But now I've got a 2-liter of Coke, a can of whipped cream, and a piece of blueberry pie sitting next to the computer.  I've got my new Relient K CD playing.  I guess there is no more excuse to avoid this.  I'll try to make this a hefty update, talking about the usual things, but much more than usual.  So, let's update, shall we?

     Survivor: Thailand is officially over.  Partly against my wishes, Brian won.  I feel a little better than I did before.  The film that he was in apparently wasn't quite as bad as I had thought.  He played the best game.  Looking strictly at that, there is no reason why he shouldn't have won.  Strategically, he played exactly how I would have.  Tina from Survivor: The Australian Outback did, too.  Those are the only two winners of Survivor that make complete sense.  Maybe Rich from Survivor: Pulau Tiga did, but I didn't watch that one.  All I know is that Ethan and Vecepia had good reasons for winning, but I never would have guessed that they would have actually pulled it off.  

     The last immunity challenge was awesome.  It took place inside a cave.  It was carved out by a river that ran through it (apparently those are pretty common on Ko Tarutao).  There was an island covered with hundreds of candles inside the cave.  Jeff was standing there.  He looked really...possessed.  He explained the challenge, which was called "Slip Through Your Fingers".  I'm a little surprised that it wasn't the typical "Hands on a Hard Idol" final immunity challenge—the three castaways have to hold onto the immunity idol until two of them give up.  Instead, they placed three big coins in each hand between their fingers and fitted themselves into frames that held their bodies in an uncomfortable stance called a kahn.  I think it is used for meditation in some kind of Thai religion.  It was symbolic of how at this last stage of the game, it is so easy to let the prize, the money, slip through your fingers.  The last one to keep their coins between their fingers would win.  Brian did, and choose Clay over Jan to go to the final two with him.  That is always the craziest rule of the game.  The person who wins the last immunity challenge wins himself a place in the final two, guaranteed, no votes required, regardless of how they played the game to get to the final three.  On top of that, they get to make the decision of who the other person is that gets a chance at the million dollars.  I don't think it's a bad rule.  It just always causes me a lot of anxiety. ^_^;

     So there's another chapter of Survivor history.  Next up is Survivor: The Amazon.  This has been in the works for so long.  They finally did it.  I could have sworn that Survivor 4 was going to be in the Amazon.  If September 11 didn't happen, Survivor 4 would have been Survivor: Arabia, and Survivor 5 would have ended up being in the Marquesas.  I really, really hope that one day, Survivor: Arabia can happen.  I love the way that the game can be in such drastically different locations, but it is always the same.  Survivor: Africa is the best example.  Nobody really liked that one, though, probably because they didn't like the location.  But I thought it was really good.  I am excited about Survivor in the Amazon.  I would not be very happy if it was on an island AGAIN.  As for Survivor 7, the applications are in and it's going to be played this summer, but no location has been announced.  The rumor is that it will be somewhere in Central America.  That seems a little too similar to the Amazon, but I'll be fine with it.  It's quite fitting that here, on the brink of 2003, the whole year concerning Survivor is already outlined for me.

     Moving away from Survivor (finally), I was talking to Jenn last night about what I want to do in the future in terms of a career.  I said my usual list of possibilities:  movie producer, movie director, journalist, chef, and the very vague "office job".  I haven't forgotten about law, but I just don't know if I am really that interested that I want to go through all that work.  She really helped me a lot with the office job idea, though.  I could get a degree in business or computer science.  She mentioned an "international media consultant", which is a desk job that involves media.  What exactly it entails, I do not know, but I would love to do something like that!  It would be great if I could work for a company that deals with something I like, and I think the paragraphs before this one are proof enough that I am a sucker for highly-dramatized media.  I would love to work for CBS or some other television-related company, or a film production company.  I looked at jobs, too.  Well, okay, I looked at one job.  Take a look at this opening for a scheduling coordinator at some company in Orlando.  I could do that.  I don't know the ins and outs of computers, nor do I have a desire to, but "proficiency with Microsoft Word, Excel, and Power Point" is something that I not only have experience with already, but I also like.  "The ability to communicate professionally and concisely with all levels of professional staff."  That sounds like it would satisfy the desires that sometimes make me want to be a lawyer.  I like to push, and even argue, for the things that I want to see done.  Most people who just read that are probably laughing now, but that is because I have probably never been in a real argument with them before.  I avoid arguments when they aren't important.  That is what separates a smart yet opinionated person from someone who argues because they can't admit they are wrong.  And "to prioritize tasks in a fast paced environment and solve problems independently" sounds like what I do in school and at home, minus the fast paced environment.  The beauty of this whole thing is that this is one of countless jobs just like it that is probably available anywhere in the country with almost any company I choose.  It allows room to change jobs for the betterment of my career, yet to become comfortable in a job when and where I wish.  Bearing this in mind, you can hardly blame me for seriously considering sinking into this sea of endless possibilities, of nonsense office jobs all under the vast umbrella of "business".  

     I believe it was Carty that I told once that I don't see my career as being a big part of my life.  That's barring the film or culinary or even journalism careers, since they would have to be.  I want it to be something I can enjoy, but I don't want my career to be my hobby, too.  Movies and cooking and writing crap like this website are what I do for fun, and I don't think I would lose that passion if I made any of them my career.  But I want to take my life a different direction.  Life is great right now for me socially.  I feel like I have a lot of intangible, undefinable substance to my life right now.  Maybe intagibility and undefinability are good signs that I really don't have substance, but that is how I feel.  So many adults, namely my dad, seem caught up in their work.  Not because it's THAT time consuming, but because that is just what they do.  I want my life to keep going in the direction that it is, with strong friendships and other social nothings being the focus of my life.  Can you think of a more socially-focused job setting than an office?  The work is such a footnote.  Maybe I am—no, definitely—I am mislead by TV, but I think I am on to something.  If I can do something that I can like, yet is not something so important that I can get consumed with it, the work can become a footnote in my life, and I can have the time and focus I will need to pursue my dreams of adulthood.

     6:50.  Yes, I really have been writing for almost two hours.  These things take longer than they might seem.  Five hours left in 2002.  I don't know how I feel.  How should I feel?  I'm very reminiscent.  So much happened this year, but so little of it is physical.  I feel like this was a very full year.  I've grown...I think.  I know I have grown spiritually, and that is most important.  It's also the most personal.  I think I have grown socially.  I have met and developed relationships with a pretty good number of people at school.  I feel like I've changed, like I've become more than I was.  I'm not just a neutral somebody.  I have feelings and opinions.  I guess this really started a while ago, at the end of my ninth grade year.  The following summer was probably the best of my life.  I won't try to say why for fear of another item-based explanation like the one a few updates down ("Gateway to Another World").  I just feel like ever since that point, I've started to actually exist.  If life is a story, and it seems so much like one to me, I have gone through character development.  The things about me that were always there are now seen.  That is probably the proudest accomplishment I can claim.  That is a little sad, especially because the whole thing is just feelings that are known and experienced only by me, and that I obviously am having trouble describing.  As far as the more, um, comprehendible happenings of this year, I would first have to mention Moulin Rouge.  Ah, where would I be without this movie?  Maybe a little less annoying. ^_^  Good Eats...It's been slow but insightful.  School has been great academically, and once again, socially.  OCA is my life.  That's why I like it so much and am afraid to be leaving it in the near future.  As for cooking, I know more and feel a little more experienced.  I have made a lot of new friendships as I said before, and all of my friends, new and old, are great.  And hey, my hair is spiky again.  As for girls...it's been crazy this year.  Most of them have gone unmentioned on this site.  Although there is that one over the summer that I made the two updates about.  I still wouldn't consider that obsession, as I was accused of.  The drawing was strictly comical, strictly intended for this site.  I didn't actually draw that before I decided to post it.  I do hope everyone realized that, but something tells me they didn't.  I think a lot of the things I do and say with this site are lost on the readers, which is no fault of their own.  I still go back and read that, though, and laugh.  I think I still have the drawing.  I think I kept it for the memory of it all.  I should give it to Jon for all he has helped me with on this site.  But as for girls, it's been a long, weird, painful, but wonderful year.  Vacation was alright this year.  I didn't want to go, and I didn't really enjoy it that much.  I had fun at times, but I think I would have liked to stay home and go to school more.  That sounds so wrong, but it's the truth.  I'm ready right now for school to start again from the Christmas break.  And there's basketball.  I think I shocked everyone, even myself, by joining the basketball team.  If there was anyone who saw that coming, please tell me.  It's been a crazy ride, and I hope it continues to be until the season ends in early February.  I've gotten better.  I'm still awful, but I have gotten better.  I don't know if I am playing next season.  I will have to wait and see.  I don't say that because of failure or fear, but rather because I don't know what life is going to be like this time next year.  Basketball has changed my life a lot.  That sounds like a strong statement.  It has been an experience like none before, but I was really talking about my daily routines.  I don't have much time at all now that I am on the team, and therefore no time to earn any money.  Christmas and my birthday were good to me this year, but it has still been and will continue to be a drastic change.  All I know is, this has been one long, crazy year.  So that's the year in review.

     And now, the coming year.  I have so much to look forward to.  That is why I am not too sad to see this year go.  I honestly feel like I am going to be getting something material in a few hours when the clock hits 12:00.  It's going to be a new year, and I am going to start another chapter of the story of life.  There's going to be challenges.  There's going to be decisions.  But I have so much to look forward to.  This coming year is going to bring me a lot of things.  First, there's Katelyn.  Not many people know about me and her still, probably because most of it has taken place over the break.  (By the way, this only further proves what I said about something memorable always happening at Christmas.  Whatever happens, in a year, I will be looking back on what has happened this Christmas.)  I am eager to get back to school, to start seeing her again on a daily basis, and to add another couple to OCA. ^_^  I'm eager for whatever this relationship brings.  Then there is basketball.  I've still got goals that I want to fulfill.  As for entertainment, Survivor, as I said, is nicely outlined for me.  The same goes for Good Eats.  This summer is probably going to bring a job for me, which is something I have pressed for since this time last year.  July will bring me a license, and with any luck, a miracle will bring me a car.  August starts a new school year.  It will be my last.  Maybe it is because of the new insight I have gained into a possible career, but right now, I have peace about leaving school.  That is a long time off...  And I have all this to look forward to.  

     This new year looks to be even better than the last.  I have detailed all the things I know about, but yet there is still the unknown.  Something will happen to people and groups of people this year that no one knows about yet.  I hope that whatever chance brings, whatever lies in wait in the coming year for me and for everyone in my life, it will be good.  May we all safely and happily return to this same point in one year, December 31, 2003.

     Every time I really start getting into a routine of updating regularly, I have computer problems.  I'm really just saying that because I've been sitting here forever trying to think of a good way to start this update.  Yes, sadly, that's the best I could do.  As for the computer, it's fixed...sort of.  Not really.  I ended up switching the motherboard and processor from another computer.  Now I'm dumbed down to a 750mHz Athlon processor.  Oh well, it's better than what I had before, which was nothing.

     Christmas is just around the corner.  I need to write my second annual Christmas email.  I'm going to get right to that as soon as I post this update.  Today is my brother's 21st birthday.  I would say to wish him a happy birthday, but I don't think anyone who reads this site knows him.  Instead, you can contain all your warm birthday well-wishing for a few more days before unleashing it all on me on the 27th.  I will be seventeen years old, and that is pretty depressing.  Enough on that, though.  I'll update on my birthday.

     In a recent conversation with the one known as Katelyn, I said that I can't take naps.  This was true at the time.  Then I felt the effects of a few almost sleepless nights due to school work.  I have taken two naps since then, and let me say, they are amazing.  I really wish I could take naps more often.  Those of you who are always sacked out on the couch, you are really lucky.  You are still lazy, but in a strange way, I envy you.

     I got my hair cut the other day.  That in itself isn't really worth talking about, but it's the hair gel I got that is so amazing.  It is called Ice Spiker gel, and once you put it in, it doesn't come out until you use shampoo.  It's even waterproof.  And I hardly have to use any of it.  Good thing, too, because it is outrageously priced.

     Okay, so this update wasn't my finest work.  It's late, I'm tired, and I have a lot of stuff left to do before I can go to bed.  I'll try to update again before Christmas, then again on my birthday.  As for now, I think I'll listen to "Simple and Clean", eat another handful of raisins, and get going on that email.

     Greetings, citizens.  As I said, I am going to start (or at least try to) updating more often in light of the extra time I will have from the impending Christmas break.  It may come as a shock to you that I am updating this soon after my last update.  It's been only 72 hours, or 89 if you want to get technical, since the last update.  How is this physically possible, you ask?  Well, after I posted the last update, it dawned on me why I could so easy and frequently update over the summer.  I made notes.  When I thought of something to write about, I would type just a few words containing the main idea at the top of the page.  When I had a decent list of things to say, I would update.  I guess I just forgot to keep doing that when school started.  It was also a lot easier to write things down when I thought of them since I was usually always at home.  Now I see that I haven't lost any of the inspiration that I had, just a bit of the organization.  Hopefully I will be able to use this technique for every update now, save for my occasional spur-of-the-moment one paragraph updates.

     I got my class ring this week.  Man, it's pretty.  Gold, blue zircon (December birthstone) with a smooth top and sunburst cut, a dragon on one side and a crusader on the other.  The dragon is technically to represent Asia, but it doesn't say anything about Asia, so I didn't feel too awfully bad about choosing it.  I also had nothing better to put on there.  The only other design I could have chosen might have been culinary arts, but that looked so dumb.  It was like a chef's hat with a knife and spoon...  Anyways, as much as I love how it looks, it doesn't fit well.  When I first got it, it fit perfectly.  It was snug, but I could take it off easily.  The next day I had some trouble getting it off.  Today I could barely get it on my finger.  This changing ring size must be pretty common.  Jer's ring wouldn't stay put on his finger when he first got it, but I think it fits him perfectly now.  It wouldn't be so bad that I can't easily get it off except that I have to take it off every day for basketball.  I've thought of just not wearing it until basketball season is over, but...I really like it. ^_^

     The weekend after Thanksgiving, I was in Gainesville dropping off a relative that stayed with my family for the holiday.  This was a perfect opportunity to visit the Old Navy store which is unlike any I have ever seen.  It's not in the mall or anything.  It's not freestanding.  It's in a shopping center.  Anyways, I digress.  When I walked in, I was handed a promotional scratch-off card containing money-saving offers and so forth.  So after a rather successful shopping session, I was standing in line to check out.  I pulled the card out of my pocket.  Unfortunately, I hadn't won $25,000, or even a free Performance Fleece pullover, but I started reading the fine print on the back of the card.  There was a place to fill out your address to get another game piece or something like that, and all the long list of rules and regulations and terms of agreement.  But at the very bottom was a box labeled "Canadian residents only:"  It said, "Prior to receiving a prize or discount, you must correctly answer, without assistance of any kind, whether mechanical or otherwise, the following mathematical skill-testing question:  Question:  Add 26 + 17, then subtract 10; then multiply by 2; then divide by 11.  Answer:  _________"  I could say a thousand things right now, but I think I'll just ask if anyone can explain this to me.

     Yesterday's basketball practice was great.  We ran so much, but that's not the good part.  I did great shooting some free throws before practice, but not so great during.  That's not the good part either.  The good part is that I feel like I really got the hang of a few things, mainly defense.  I also sort of got the feel for offense.  Tuesday night when I played in the game, I felt really lost.  We had the ball, and I was in position, but I didn't know what to do after that.  I've sort of got the feel for moving around yet staying in position.  Monday is the last game before Christmas.  We are playing Wade, a new team.  I heard that they are really far away.  I'm not looking forward to the long bus ride, but I am sort of looking forward to winning, which I hope we do.  And playing...which I hope I do.

     I put up the nativity scene today on the table in the hall.  This made me think of something the happened when I lived in Orlando.  We had the nativity scene set up on a table on the second floor of my house for Christmas.  But we didn't take it down until like March.  So we would have people come to our house and see the nativity scene.  They would comment on how pretty it was even at that non-seasonal time of the year, and then ask if we were Catholic.  So my question to you, my loyal readers (all two of you ^_^), is why did people ask that?  Do Catholics keep nativity scenes up all year?

     This was a huge update.  I hope I haven't burned out all of my ideas.  I'll try to keep updating this frequently.  This coming week is exam week.  I have a regular day of school Monday, and the rest of the week is is crazily-scheduled half and quarter days.  Come to think of it, I'll be leaving early for the basketball game on Monday.  I guess Friday was my last regular day of school for 2002.  Suddenly I'm nostalgic.  I am exempt from all classes except geometry, chemistry, and English.  I only have to be at school two days for the exams, but Honor Society and basketball practice are going to require me to be at school some time every day.  Anywho, I had better stop writing before this update gets any longer.  In the words of someone somewhere in Trigun, "Love and peace!"

     Christmas time is here.  Happiness and cheer.  Today I went to the OCA Christmas party at the ice skating rink downtown.  I'm very tired now.  Overall, it was great.  I did surprisingly well skating.  And then, when we returned to school, lo and behold, we were allowed to stay in casual clothes.  That's right.  Girls wore pants for two class periods at OCA.  I hope everyone lived it up, because I don't think any of us will live to see the day that it happens again.

     Speaking of school, I miss my little Chan-Chan.  Her birthday was this past weekend.  She's now fifteen years old.  My long lost OCA companion is getting all grown up on me.  We don't get online in the mornings anymore, and we hardly ever talk on the phone.  Chan, I miss you!

     Now I'm going to try to talk about something that I have been really hesitant to for a while.  I have to make this perfect, or it is going to sound awful.  I'm sure it will to some people anyways.  With the Christmas season pretty much in full swing, I find myself looking over my shoulder at what happened this time last year.  I do this every Christmas.  I do it all year 'round, but especially at Christmas.  It always seems that there is something especially noteworthy going on around this time.  And there are some really predominant, yet virtually indescribable themes in this wintertime world.  Most of you know my affinity for last year.  School year, that is.  Man...take me back there.  Back to this time, one year ago.  Take me back to that world of constant night, of fluorescent lighting and Metal Gear Solid 2...payphones and basketball games...Lord of the Rings...cut-and-paste and mid-Bible class stories about flirting.  It was a world that existed in and around the school gym, and online.  Does anyone understand me, or am I crazy?  Life is good now, but I would love to be there again.  I feel different than I did then.  Almost more aware of something, either myself or everyone around me.  I feel like I've grown so much, but that maybe I had it better before that happened.  Growing seems to have come at the price of being weathered down by it all.  Memories are great things, but it's often frustrating when you realize that memories are only that—memories.

     Basketball is going somewhat well.  I have now played in two games.  Just as I predicted, I did get to play in that away game.  It was only for the last two minutes of the game, but it was play time.  I got to pass the ball in, too.  Last night I played in a game against Calvary.  I didn't touch the ball once.  I was lost out there on the court.  I feel that that game was good for me, though, because now I know what it's like to actually be out there.  Looking back, I know what I was supposed to be doing the whole time I played.  Next time, I can see past the shock of being in the game and just focus.

     Christmas break is fast approaching.  Exams are coming up next week.  I need to update a lot more.  I sat down at the end of summer and wrote down a bunch of titles for updates.  I thought I would have used all of them by now, but I haven't.  That's partly because I haven't updated like I had planned on, and partly because I haven't used the titles that I planned out.  Even this update's title is not one of the them.  This one is original, though, so it's not quite so bad.  I hope to do some catching up before Christmas.  Maybe the break will bring a sort of renaissance that allows me to update with the fervency and frequency that I did over the summer.  At any rate, I'm really tired.  I should go to bed or something, but I won't.

     It's time to update, but I honestly don't know where to start.  I'm sitting here talking to Amie about Survivor, and I can't think of a thing to say.  So I guess I'll just talk about...Survivor.  It's down to six people now.  The tribes are merged, and the name is in fact Chuay Jai.  Curses.  And the buff color is gold, exactly like Boran from Survivor 3.  I'm somewhat disappointed.  I suppose there are just two episodes left until the final one.  This season seems to have gone a lot faster than the others.  The people are nice, but they aren't the best.  Clay is cool because he doesn't get caught up in the drama, but he's almost arrogant.  Jake is great, and he wouldn't be my last choice for the winner.  Jan...why is she still in the game?  Ted is stupid just because he is.  Brian would be my favorite if I didn't know he was an ex-porn star.  That leaves only Helen, who seems to have played the game wonderfully.  She's made all the right moves in all the tough situations she's been in.  That gives me faith that she will make it to the final two.  She'll at least be in the final four.  Anywho, only time will tell what exactly will happen.

     Tomorrow is the OCA Christmas chapel.  I have just received word from the Honorable Dr. Cartalion Se-ay the Tres that he will not be able to make it to school tomorrow to deliver his performance.  I have a good feeling that Fluck won't be there either.  That means I'll be doing a lot of the parts myself.  I know I'll be nervous when the time comes, but I'm not fretting it now.  I did pretty well on my oral book report yesterday.  Considering my report last year, this was much improved.  It's also fairly impressive considering that the book was a biography of Hitler and I didn't even crack it until I sat down to write the report.  Speech class has helped me a lot with public speaking.  I still get nervous, but I think it was a good "investment", if you will.

     Today was cool because I found some change in the snack machine.  It was also cool because it was Erica's seventeenth birthday.  Speaking of cool things, I highly suggest the downloading of the PlanitB remix of "Simple and Clean".  It's the opening theme for Kingdom Hearts, that PS2 game with Squaresoft and Disney characters.  I know, I know...  The song is still great, though.  Even the non-techno version is pretty sweet.

     Last night was our third basketball game.  We played Landmark, which I was told would be incredibly easy to beat.  We ended up going into overtime, and they won after they got some foul shots in the last four seconds.  That sucked.  I didn't set foot on the court, but I felt that loss.  Losing really stinks.  We have got to get better with our defense.  I am looking forward to tomorrow's practice because I know it will focus on exactly that.  I think it will also be laced with a nice bit of running, though.  At our second game, we lost a valuable player when Ryan dislocated his knee.  It was quite a disgusting as well as disheartening sight.  He says he'll be back for the last five games, though, and he's still attending practice in his crutch-aided state.  Very cool, if I do say so.  Friday is the first away game.  Maybe I'll get to play.  I don't know.  Part of me thinks I'm ready, but the other part knows I'll probably just puke all over the court the first time I go in anyways.  Whatever.  I'm having fun.

     Well, kids, that's it for now.  I hope I don't get sick from all these people I'm around that are coming down with something themselves.  I just got done being sick.  But this is the nasty kind of sick, the stay home from school throwing up kind of sick.  I haven't puked in at least a year and a half.  I want it to be something really good that makes me puke, not some dumb virus.  What a perfect note to end this on.  Until next time.

     I promised a Thanksgiving update, and by golly, I'm writing a Thanksgiving update.  The day has come and almost gone.  I've made busy most all day with cooking.  The turkey was wonderful, as usual.  So said the diners, at least.  I was a little disappointed.  I think it could have been better.  I am thoroughly stuffed, though.  I have yet to feel the effects of Tryptophan, but then again, I've never been a napper.

     I regret to say that my mind has been pretty far from thankfulness today.  So now that the work is over with and I'm laying here on the floor of my temporary sleeping quarters (company is occupying my bedroom, causing me to sleep in the computer room), typing this update via cordless keyboard, I think I will turn my thoughts to just that.  I've received several thankfulness-related emails from some people from school today.  I thought about sending my own version of these, but I think I'll wait and send my Christmas email like last year.  Anyways, these emails said pretty much the same things.  I think we are all thankful for our friends, our families, our school, and so on.  That has its value.  But I think the more important focus, or at least my desired focus, is to cherish what we have.  We can sit at our tables and ponder our blessings over turkey dinner, but what good is it all if we don't go any farther than that?  I've told a few people that life feels very urgent for me lately.  I have just about one and a half years of school left.  That's it for me.  And a month from yesterday, I will be seventeen years old.  That frightens me.  I am not going to be young anymore. It will be my last year of childhood.  Even then, seventeen-year-olds are generally expected to be mature, future-focused individuals.  I am not.  In the words of the good old Counting Crows, my walls are crumbling.  I have very little time to have as much fun as I can and bask in the light of my blessings.  So I'm not going to tell you that I am thankful for my friends, or my school, or anything.  But if I have learned a lesson today, (and let's face it, I probably haven't) I would say that it would be a reaffirmation of what I have already learned—seize the moment.  You and I both know that I have a problem doing this very thing, but I can't help but lay here and feel some kind of resolve to work harder at it.

"Go to sleep, little angel.  Go to sleep, little one.  Step out the front door like a ghost into the fog where no one notices the contrast of white on white.  And in between the moon and you, angels get a better view of the crumbling difference between wrong and right."   -Counting Crows

     I have been neglecting my site for far too long.  I wish I could say my life has been busy, but it hasn't.  I have just been busy.  That makes sense if you think about it.  It does to me at least...  Anyways, tomorrow is the first basketball game of the season.  I was feeling a little apprehensive about that this week, but today in practice, the team sort of got pumped up and went wild.  I feel like if I can be that way tomorrow night, it doesn't matter if I mess up.  As long as I have the heart to keep going, I will do well.  At least, that's what the coach has said almost every day since I joined the team.

     Survivor was good tonight.  Penny finally got what was coming to her.  I was glad to see Penny go, but she was the last of the hot girls to be voted off.  I never really thought anyone except Penny and Tanya were attractive, anyways.  Penny played the game a lot like I always say that I would.  At the same time, though, I find her style pretty repulsive.  I think I would play the game the same way she did, but I would have a little more regard for alliances.  She thought she was doing such a great thing by ditching Jake, but that was probably a contributing factor to her being voted off tonight.  If she hadn't made her bold move of snuffing Jake's torch in the immunity challenge, former Chuay Gahn would have probably went after Jake.  But after the display Penny made, former Chuay Gahn might have anticipated Jake's retaliation, and threw a few more votes in for Penny.  That said, Jake didn't even vote for Penny.  That is sort of strange.  He had a vote for Jan out of nowhere.  I would have liked to have seen Jan go a while ago.  Anywho, I think the main difference between Penny's performance in the game and my theoretical performance is that I would not jump ship so easily, or so soon.  If there is one thing that past seasons of Survivor have taught me, it's that it is never over for someone until their torch is snuffed.  Last minute decisions are often the most effective in this game.  I also hate the immunity challenge that was played tonight.  Last season had a similar one.  It reveals all of the secret plans and schemes of the tribe members, and, as I would guess is the case, causes them to make premature decisions.  And one look at last season's version of this challenge and the complete coup d'etat that took place afterwards will tell you that this challenge is worse than any player-to-player confrontations, Tribal Council interrogations, or anything that usually upsets peace among the tribe members.

     Thanksgiving is one week away.  I have, and have had for two years now, the task of making the turkey.  Why?  Well, no doubt you are prone to say it is because I am an amazingly great cook and everyone in my family pails in comparison to my turkey roasting skills. ^_^;  Unfortunately, you'd be wrong.  It is because I have become at least somewhat versed in the technique of brining—that is, soaking the meat in an extremely concentrated sugar-salt solution for an extended period of time, yielding a juicy turkey guaranteed better than yours. ^_^  Brining is an amazing thing for poultry and pork, and though it is a lot of trouble for a turkey, namely because I have to wake up in the middle of the night to tend to it, it is definitely worth it one time a year.  Brined and roasted turkey often finds itself competing with deep fried turkey.  I have yet to try deep fried turkey, but I am so sick of that retarded fad that I almost don't ever want to try it.  So...yeah.  I thought you should know.

     I have archived the old updates again.  Anything from earlier than 11-9 will now be located on the archive page.  I have been late to school almost every day this week.  I have got to start getting more sleep.  I especially need sleep for that game tomorrow night.  I don't want to sound like I'm expecting to play, but I don't want to not expect it either.  At any rate, I'm done.

     The end to a long week of twists, turns, and serious changes has finally come.  So far, basketball has been great as the work has required little skill.  However, yesterday when we scrimmaged, I realized how awful I am at this game.  I don't know what I'm doing.  I have really got a lot of learning and practice to do.  Last night I went out to eat with some of the team at Eastern Buffet.  I love that place...  Next time, though, we must remember to keep the place settings sealed of those who don't pay. ^_^

     I have mentioned before that Juan has an email newsletter.  The latest issue went out last night after I left his house.  As always, if you are interested in being on the mailing list, tell me.  Also, check out the page I have made for his newsletter here.  It has all the old editions of it archived.  The newsletter is a lot like my site, yet still different.  It covers far fewer areas, making for an enjoyable read on things like Sharpie markers and lip balm.

     As I said, this has been a crazy week.  Something I think I have taken away from it is that friends mean everything in life.  I am friends with some of the coolest people on earth.  I have my friends that I see most every class of every day at school, and then there's my 9th grade friends, and then there's my few close friends.  I wouldn't trade any of them.  Friends are always there for you.

     This has been a fairly short update, and I don't really know why.  In fact, I can't even think of anything to say in closing.  So...bye.

-Chris

1:16 PM  11-09-02

     Whenever I post an update with only one idea or aim, you know it's important.  At the very least, it is something I feel strongly about.  Tonight, I plan to do just that on the subject of basketball.  As I stated in my last update, I've joined the basketball team.  Today was my first practice.  My adrenaline pumped during seventh period.  Carty felt my pulse and told me it was beating like crazy.  I was so nervous.  The bell rang and I headed for the gym to take part in what would prove to be some seriously exhausting drills.  After one day, I already know that doing this is the hardest thing I will have ever done.  I have so much work ahead of me.  One of the first drills involved running the width of the court in one minute...seventeen times.  This didn't look too hard at first.  I thought I would make seventeen or close to it.  Well, I did.  I made fourteen.  But I didn't ever imagine that somewhere, probably in the low teens, my upper leg muscles would stop working for a little while.  I almost fell a few times.  I suppose that teaches me not to underestimate these drills.  This was the beginning of the rigorous activities.  My head was pounding.  I felt like what I assume it feels like to huff some kind of household cleaner.  I couldn't stand straight.  But as I sit here, freshly showered and in my comfy clean clothes, I know that this was a good decision.  One of the last parts of practice was talking about our spiritual lives together.  We paired off and prayed with one another.  That was something I wasn't expecting, but I really enjoyed.  I have high hopes for being on the team.  I'm not talking so much about our development of skill and performance on the court.  I just think that what I experienced today was something that I've never really known before.  The team was...a team.

     It has been so long since I last updated.  As you most likely guessed, I returned home safely from North Carolina.  I must now detail, as promised, the whole grave incident:  On the way to North Carolina, we decided to stop in Barnesville, GA.  This is the town that my great-grandmother grew up in.  After finding her old house and being lead through it by some very nice people, we headed down the road to the graveyard.  Weirdo that I am, I hopped out of the car and started taking pictures of cool-looking tombstones and crypts.  My family kept riding around looking for the graves of some family members, and I actually took a picture of one without knowing I was somehow related to the person it belonged to.  Freaky, non?  So I got a lot of pictures of graves and one very sweet picture of a Confederate monument, and as we were going to leave, my uncle saw a grave with a hole at the base of the marker.  He laid down on the ground and looked inside, and started yelling something about a hip bone.  I thought he was just joking, and after waiting in line for a few of my family members to get a glimpse for themselves, I peered in myself...with a flashlight.  At first I saw nothing.  Then I shined the light in the back of the grave.  I had two femurs smiling back at me. ^_^  That was a pretty odd experience.  I guess I can cross another item off the good old life list.  But, now that that's over with, let's just get right into it.  Shall we?

     I never thought I'd be saying this, but it is so great to be back at school, even if it is basketball season.  This proves trying for me because almost everyone I know, now including the Juan-chan himself, is either a basketball player or cheerleader.  That means I end up spending afternoons after school and the days of the away games by my lonesome.  Nevertheless, it's good to be back.  I've been tearing it up in the grades department lately.  Somehow, some way, I managed a B in chemistry on my first quarter report card.  In fact, I managed an A or B on everything.  And in geometry, I got a 94 on a test that I neglected to study for and was certain to fail.  So did Carty.  We've been squeezing as much gloating out of that one as possible.  Tomorrow is Wednesday, the best day of the week—CIA, midpoint of the week, and no homework.

     I have replenished my supply of Binaca, and even found a new flavor!  No, not cherry Binaca.  I wish.  One day...  The flavor I found is red, but it is known as "hot mint", and has a frighteningly similar taste to cinnamon.  I used that one today, so tomorrow is regular Binaca day.  Ah, I'm a freak... -_-

     If you are observant, you probably noticed that I have added a new category to the sidebar at the left.  Check out my new Pictures section.  Right now, the 10th grade year section doesn't work because I sort of forgot to upload all of the pictures.  But I did correct that problem on the Me section.  It contains far fewer pictures, but give it a look just the same.  And keep your eyes peeled for the 10th grade section to get fixed.  You can go read the captions now, if you like.  

     Ah, to Survivor, or not to Survivor?  I think I'll choose not to Survivor for today.  But I will say this:  Last week's episode was the best of Survivor: Thailand so far.  Sweet challenges, excellent "character development", the utmost class displayed by Sook Jai (of all people!), and best of all, Robb got voted out.  Next week I believe is the merge, and I am anxious as a monkey on crack to see what the merge tribe's name and color is going to be.  I'll have to explain why at a later date.

     Alas, it seems I've pounded out another update for your reading enjoyment.  I haven't gotten a real, meaningful, non-strictly-business email in so long.  ...Except for from Onew, God bless 'er.  I still haven't forgotten about you, Onew.  So, kids, here's so long to what is most likely the last update of October, a month that I for one think has flown by at an alarming rate.

     Resisting with all my might the urge to attempt another "Days turned into weeks..." Moulin Rouge parody, I come to you now live from Cattail Creek upon the Black Mountain Range, somewhere outside of Burnsville, NC.  It has been rainy all day.  The cloud that has stood between the cabin and a somewhat picturesque ridge is just beginning to lift its otherwise constant presence.  The heat from a formerly raging fire is close at my back.  I've lost all contact with society.  I am boycotting razors.  As such, I have grown some rather sweet stubble sideburns.  I sit here at the kitchen (if you want to call it that) table listening to "The Girl Who Stole the Star" on my Chrono Cross soundtrack.  3:01.  I'd be in speech class right now if I were home.  While I don't find that class as entertaining as I used to, anything is better than here, it seems.  I've spent four nights here already, and they are all a blur.  My dreams each night have been of home.  And now my thoughts turn there as well.  As many of you know, I was able to check and write some email the other day, nullifying the stamps and envelopes I brought along.  I'm thinking of asking to do a followup check again soon.  And you all had better have written me back.  Ah, but enough complaining.  I suppose it's time for some actual updatization.  

     It's Wednesday.  Thankfully, this trip has begun its downward stretch.  I keep my hopes up by trying to find ways to make it sound like I'm leaving soon.  For instance, today is the last day before the eve of the eve of my departure.  

     Yesterday, I must admit, was fun.  Granted, everything we did was my idea. ^_^  I spent the day in Asheville, NC.  Last year I went to the Biltmore House in Asheville, which was quite fun.  This year I went to the Asheville Farmer's Market.  While my hopes and expectations were far from met, it was, in a word, fun.  After that, we set out on a journey to find a local mill that made bags of cornmeal everyone at the farmer's market seemed to be selling.  I'm confident in the belief that this is the same brand featured on the corn episode of Good Eats.  The mill must not have been too local, though, for we turned around when we saw a road sign bearing a grievous number of miles to our destination.  Instead, we visited the Biltmore Mall.  I played Star Fox Adventures there, and while I can't quite put my finger on it, I'm disappointed.  Next came the Chinese buffet.  There was a Mongolian barbeque of which I partook.  The cook was using two long, tapered poles frighteningly similar to pool cues, to maneuver the food.  I had a rather yummy lamb lo mein.  That was the first time I had seen lamb on a Mongolian barbeque line.  Come to think of it, aside from gyros, that was the first time I had eaten lamb.  But, much like gyros, lamb lo mein doesn't really count.  The evening was topped off with a trip to neo-Ingles.

     On the schedule for today is... ah, yes—nothing.  Either tomorrow or Friday I plan to go catch some trout.  Trout ponds are fairly common up here. It's a little unchallenging, but assuming I found a river around here big enough to fish for trout in, I doubt my madd skilz in the department of fly fishing would yield much bounty.  Speaking of food, all I've been doing this trip is eating.  Well, and sticking my head in washed-out graves...  I'll cover that one when I get home.  I had some fried green tomatoes and bacon this morning.  Bebe smells like the grease I fried them in.  He must have found where I dumped out the pan and... uh, rolled in it.

     But anywho, as I sit here, now on the top bunk of my room (I've moved all around the house over the course of 24+ hours that it's taken me to finish writing this update), I'm thinking about all the people I know back home.  I had some rather meaningful conversations just before I left on this trip.  That's the kind of stuff that I really cherish.  Screw these picturesque mountain ranges and creeks.  The real beauty is back home.  I'm also doing a lot of remembering.  I'm sure that I was missing everyone last year, but to a lesser extent.  In that respect, I can see how things have changed.  I can see how I have changed.  I can think of each person that I knew this time last year and look at how almost every one of them has changed noticeably.  Most have become something far greater than they were a year ago.  But then, conversely, I'm thinking about my life and how little it has changed.  I have talked a lot about change since the school year started, and, believe me, things have changed.  It is only now, though, when I take a step back and look at my life.  It is only now when I see the cycle it has traveled in.  Things change.  Faces change.  But life—life stays the same.  I'm feeling the same things I did last year for different people.  And this year?  I think I know what it's going to be like, but I really don't.  Even eight or nine weeks in, this year is not settled into consistency yet.  That is, if every school year past is a guide.  Last year I came home from vacation, and that's when things started settling in.  Last year I had no idea what I was about to find when I got back home.  It was change, but nothing I hadn't done before.  Life never really changes.  There's always the story of a boy and a girl; there's always friends; there's always fun.  Life never really changes.

     Thursday nights are the best.  They are second to Wednesday nights, but only second.  The days are really starting to fly.  I find myself looking back at the amount of time I have spent in this school year and how quickly it has gone.  I'm also finding myself realizing that this school year is like every other in that it has changed from what it was in the beginning.  It has just now started to settle down into what it will be for the duration.  I can say now that I like it.  I don't want to get too comfortable with it--things may change.  But this year is settling into something very appealing.  That said, in a conversation after school today, I was telling someone how the days are really a blur.  I go to school for six hours, but what do I do?  I have a lot of fun, but I don't remember from day to day what happens.  People ask me what's going on, and I just stare for long periods of time before saying the usual "Nothing much."  The sad part is that it's the truth.  Even sadder may be that I am completely content with it.  I drift from person to person, day to day in the mindless dribble of "How's your day going?" and "What are you doing this weekend?".  But I love it.  I'm not saying I don't desire more substantial relationships, because God knows I do.  For all I have and what it's worth, though, I'm loving it.  Life is good, and I can't complain.

     I don't deny that much of the positivity I am feeling is due to tonight's episode of Survivor. ^_^;  I think it probably had one of the most just occurrences in Survivor history.  Tonight's reward challenge had four boats, two for each tribe.  Narrow bamboo avenues connected one tribe's boat to the other's, and crossed in the middle.  Tribe members had to make it from their boat to the other tribe's boat, obtain a basket, and return to their boat without falling off.  The catch was that in the middle, the two tribe's paths became one, and they had to duke it out.  The could only attack, however, when standing on a clearly marked portion of the bamboo midsection.  Failure to do so would cost them dearly.  This was a perfect setup for justice to be dealt to the boisterous Sook Jai.  It always seems that if there is one horrible flaw in Survivor, it is that the rain never really falls on the unjust.  Not so, tonight.  Sook Jai ended up being penalized at least four times for attacking outside of regulation.  Chuay Gahn would have certainly lost to the younger, more agile Sook Jai, but their arrogance did them in.  They would attack without even thinking, and immediately be penalized.  One member of Sook Jai even kept attacking her opponent's feet after being knocked off into the water.  That just screams ignorance to me.  And of course, they were all curse words and middle fingers about it.  But the idol went to Chuay Gahn.  I didn't really even feel proud that my favored tribe won.  I felt shamed that there are people that arrogant.

     It's Spirit Week at school.  Tomorrow is homecoming.  This has been a fun Spirit Week, though not as memorable as last year's.  I think that is largely because of the loss of people.  I've met plenty more since then, but no one can really replace someone else.  Not that there are gaping holes in my life, but it always seems that change in faces brings change in mood.  And that feeling of being different, of change, is something that doesn't always sit well with me.  There could be a hundred different things that make last year different from this year.  In case you haven't noticed, I talk about that a lot lately.  I'm tired of it, too.  I think from now on I'm just going to drift even further into the "take it as it comes, make it what you want" style.  As I said before, things are going really well.  They are quite different, but still going well.  Can I really ask for more?  I think tomorrow I am going to forget about what I was doing a year ago and worry about what I am doing in the here and now...and have fun.

     I know it has been a while since I updated when people actually start asking me about the site.  People other than Jon, that is.  But anyways, the first order of business: "Movies" by Alien Ant Farm has got to be one of the coolest new songs on the radio right now.  Life's been good to me as of late.  I haven't been too busy, but I've managed to stave off boredom.  I've attended the past two OCA football games.  Next week is homecoming.  Our team is...not so good.  I'm not saying I could do any better, though.

     Survivor: Thailand has premiered.  Most of the changes were very short-lived.  Instead of being assigned to tribes, the members were picked a la gym class by the two oldest contestants.  Buff colors are orange and purple, and the tribe names are Chuay Gahn and Soop Jai, respectively.  Separation of genders seemed like a complete publicity stunt.  It was just to separate them for ease in the choosing of tribe members.  The theme song is a little different.  It's a lot more mellow and soothing than the harsh, primeival tunes for Survivor: Africa and Survivor: Marquesas.  The intro is divine, though. ^_^  I've taken to the older, less pig-headed Chuay Gahn tribe, who seems to be on a losing streak.  I can't completely condone their votes so far, though.  Ghandia, who single-handedly wasted Chuay Gahn's huge lead on Soop Jai in the first immunity challenge and cost them the win, was spared.  Instead they voted off John for reasons that escape me.  Then this past week they gave the axe to Tanya.  Now naturally I'm partial to her because she's one of the only attractive women in this game, but she also had some potential.  She's a social worker, and that alone would have put her in my tribe had I been picking the members.  Someone who helps solve other people's social problems for a living sounds like a serious asset to the tribe.  She did have problems with getting sick, but the fact that she wasn't down and out (like Diane of Survivor 3) makes me question whether or not she should have really been the one to go.  I would have much rather seen Jan go.  The sad truth is that Jan is weak.  And it's not the kind of weak that can slip by.  She may very well have been the one that cost Chuay Gahn immunity this past time because she didn't remember how to detach the item she had to bring back to her tribe in an aquatic relay race.  ...Oh yeah, nobody else watches Survivor.  My bad.

     As I was cleaning my room about a week ago, I came across some SoBe bottles that took up residence in my locker for the better part of last school year.  A Lava bottle still had a tiny bit of liquid in it.  I twisted off the cap and suddenly it smelled like a brewery.  Apparently I inadvertently made SoBe wine.  I'm contemplating hanging on to this little novelty, though I'd never think of drinking it.  I'm pretty sure Lava has milk in it.  That sounds rather dangerous.

     Aren't the recent developments in public restroom technology amazing?  The automatic urinal is no new feat, but have you ever seen the Wave-a-Towel?  Yeah.  No more lever-pulling.  You wave your hand in front of a sensor and a motor inside starts spitting out paper towels.  Staples in town used to have one.  It's gone now, though.  One has to wonder why the toilet, urinal, hand dryer, towel dispenser, and sink have all been automated, yet the lowly soap dispenser remains the same.  If only the soap dispenser and bathroom door would be upgraded accordingly, we could achieve complete hygiene in public restrooms.  

     In the way of, how do you say, "shout outs", this one goes to Candyce.  She's just started reading this site, and she's cool because...I said so.  And hey, person from Georgia, email me!  That's all for now, kats and cittens out there in Funky Town.  See you all next week*, same bat-time, same bat-channel.

     Nelly, Nelly, what a night.  I've just returned from Jon/Katie/Jeremiah's church and the Springz.  It was my first time at the Springz, and I was not disappointed.  This is due not in part, but entirely, to a DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) style game that I played.  I have wanted to try one before, but now I finally have.  I am absolutely horrible at it.  But it is my destiny.  I am feeling an addiction already.  This game looks so much cooler than what I've seen of DDR, too.  This game is more like you dance to a long, wacky, indisputably Japanese music video.  Anyways, I absolutely must go back soon and begin practicing.  I was very surprised to see Katie jump up on the platform and start tearing it up.  I never would have guessed that she would be the type to even consider playing a game like that.  But, unbeknownst to me, my special little buddy is incredibly skilled at this strange art.  She has been playing for quite some time now.  Anyways, this is really a pathetic update, but that's all I have to say right now.  I'll put together a more meaningful update soon.  So to sum it all up: "Dancing video game, ruled by Katie, rocks my world."  ^_^;;;

     It's update time, boys and girls.  At present, I'm slurping on a watermelon-flavored Jolly Rancher portable gel snack.  What's that, you ask?  It's a silly snack that resembles Fla-vor-Ice, those packs of flavored liquid that you put in the freezer and eat after they harden.  Why gel?  Because one week ago tomorrow, I had my wisdom teeth pulled.  I've recovered quite nicely, though I have to see the dentist again tomorrow.  If you're interested in the specifics of the surgery, ask me later, but I don't really feel like writing about it here.

     Due to the surgery and the three day weekend (Labor Day), I was out of school for five days straight.  It was an instant revert to summer.  I did think about all my friends, but I got along without talking to them.  I went back to my little loner summertime world.  And it was great. ^_^  Also over the long weekend, Food Network played a Good Eats marathon.  I have them all safely recorded on my UlitmateTV for later transfer to tape.  I only got to see one episode that I had never seen before, but it was still nice to see so many episodes in a row.  Plus there was neato behind-the-scenes stories before each episode.  On a semi-related note, we are getting a Bed Bath & Beyond in Ocala.  This is like a Good Eats shrine; not to mention it abounds with quality cooking supplies for reasonable prices.  Now, if only we would get a Best Buy... 

     In the way of school, I have to read some material dealing with September 11th in chapel this coming Monday.  I'm not too excited, but I want to go through with it.  I took speech class to rid me of my fear of public speaking.  At the beginning of a recent episode of Seinfeld, the opening nightclub scene was Jerry relating that Americans' number one fear is public speaking.  I know that is true, because it was on my last test in speech class.  Their number two fear, he said, is death.  Think of the irony.  He went on to illustrate that to the typical American, if they have to go to a funeral, they would rather be the one in the coffin than doing the eulogy.  While it's probably not funny anymore after I re-wrote it, it's still something to think about.

     I don't know what's up with the sidebar.  I opened the HTML file of this website in my editor to do this update, and the top and left panes both had what looked like place-taker messages in them.  I replaced the logo in the top pane, but it's going to take me a little while to replace the sidebar and it probably won't be exactly the same.  But anyways, it's Wednesday.  No homework.  I've been so tired the past two days since I've been back at school.  I'm headed to the drug store, them I'm going to come back here and try to go to sleep.  I could use about twelve hours tonight...  So I think I will draw this update to a close.  Thanks for reading.  Onward and upward.

     ...Is just to love and be loved in return.  I believe that.  In a recent conversation, I asked a friend what pearl of wisdom, if no other, would he pass on to the world.  While mine was "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.", his was "Experience is the teacher of fools."  This puzzled me.  How could experience lead to foolishness?  But he explained that the real meaning is that experience teaches those who are already fools.  It leads them away from their foolishness.  I found this clever and intriguing.

     Another puzzling aspect of life is the liquid/solid dispute.  Jello, for example, is constantly being debated between liquid and solid.  I looked in the pantry the other day and saw a huge can of beans.  It was marked as one-gallon.  Now, why is it that beans, objects which can be poured yet are solids, can be measured in liquid increments, yet jello, a gelatinized liquid, is the subject of such heated debate?

     This school year, for the most part, is turning out really well.  I do miss Chris Buchanan, though.  I miss him telling me about what's going on in Asheron's Call, and what new video games are coming out, and what his neighbor did to make him angry.  I also miss Ashlee.  I'd love to say that I'll stay in close touch with these people, but I know I won't.  I just don't think it is possible to successfully mimic the relationship maintained in a school setting.

     I had a big time Moulin Rouge music session this evening.  I really love that movie.  And I got to thinking that that movie is a lot like my mind.  The main elements are conveyed in an overly elaborate method, like singing.  I say that mostly, though, because I would envision my mind as a large dance hall with artists and lovers and can-can dancers all with their painted on happy faces, trying with only mixed results to make the art or love or happiness real.

     Finally, I've been having some thoughts and feelings troubling me lately.  Fear pride, kids.  It's about as easy to swallow as a handful of razor blades.  And don't make the mistake I did of thinking you will never want to.  Live a lie, if you dare, but sooner or later, you will want out.  And by that time, the bridge is long since burned to ashes.

     I've been waiting all summer to use that title.  Ever since I borrowed Meghan's Dashboard Confessional CD, when I head that line from "Age Six Racer", I wrote it down and told myself that would be my title for the farewell to summer update.  And I am writing this as that update now.  Why?  Because I've deemed tomorrow my last day of summer.  Friday I am going to OCA's orientation.  It never truly feels like summer after that.  So here we are.  This is the eve of the end of summer.  Normally things feel like they are happening too soon.  Christmas, birthdays, one-year points, and so on never feel like they have come at the right time.  I can truly say though that next Monday does feel like the right time for the first day of school.  It does feel like the right time for summer to end.

     In an online conversation tonight, I was asked how I would sum up my summer.  Unfortunately, while writing my novel of an answer, I was disconnected.  I've decided to answer here instead.  I would sum up my summer by saying that I had a lot of expectations.  While last summer I planned for the school year, this school year I planned for the summer.  Last summer was great.  I had new anime rolling in like crazy, which was entirely thanks to my friend Andrew.  I cooked, I saw movies, I went on trips, I made money, I played Asheron's Call and Giants: Citizen Kabuto, and I went to an anime convention.  This summer I wanted all that and more.  And all I did was cook.  That said, this summer was the freest of them all.  I honestly felt like I had no ties in anything.  Last summer I had math tutoring.  There was always the urgent feel of having to get my tutoring homework done.  Yes, I had math homework over the summer.  No one can tell me I didn’t deserve the A’s I got in Algebra II this year.  This summer, to quote Sheryl Crow, I was “the king of me”.  I did what I wanted and it felt great.  Granted, all I did was watch TV and cook.  But darn it, that’s exactly what I wanted.  I would have liked the things from last summer, too, but circumstances just didn't allow this time around.  I went on a trip to the beach with Carty.  That was totally awesome.  I think I’ll have the memory of running barefoot through a golf course at night and sneaking around a banquet hall and hotel for quite some time.  My summer may be lacking when measured against the last, but I really can’t complain.  So I won't be making it to AFO3 this year.  So I didn’t go to many movies.  So I didn’t have any memorable new anime to commemorate this summer with (when I think of last summer, I think of Love Hina).  But it was still great.  For the most part, I kept in touch with the people I care about.  And all but a few of those people I will be seeing Friday evening.  That’s one aspect of this school year I can’t wait for.  Summer is all but gone, and tomorrow, I’m going to try not to think about that as much as possible.  Tomorrow I’m going to wake up as late as I can.  I’m going to see a movie.  I’ll get online and I’ll watch TV.  It's just going to be another day of summer.  I hope this coming year will measure up even greater than last year.  But I don't think I should try to rebuild last year.  I'm just going to take it as it comes, and what happens will be better than anything I could have made on my own.

-Chris

12:58 AM  8-08-02

     Milk shakes are so exhausting.  I think I had a lung collapse while sucking on a vanilla incarnation of one from Burger King a few minutes ago.  Then as it melts, it gets thinner, but your weakened state keeps you struggling to suck it through the straw.  This really has little relevance to what I was going to talk about, and that is the Black Stack BBQ Griller from Burger King.  Giving into the constant commercials and my empty stomach, I tried one today.  Not bad at all.  As best I could tell, it was two burger patties, bacon slices, onion, and Swiss cheese with barbeque sauce on some kind of chewy bun.  The sauce was a little overkill, but it was quite good.

     I saw Austin Powers in Goldmember recently.  I don't know, but that might have been the best of the three movies.  At first I was a little worried.  For a while it's very...weird.  It's like they were screwing up the characters.  That sounds impossible since this is an Austin Powers movie, but they started to do it.  Fear not, though.  As the movie goes on, it gets better.  MiniMe gets more screen time and jokes.  Goldmember is not all that good of a character.  The main plot and humor still revolve around Austin, Dr. Evil, MiniMe, and so forth.  I highly recommend it.  Why, there's even a bit of continuity between this one and the first film.

     I went school shopping this morning.  Cargo pants are getting stupid.  What ever happened to the big stitch-outlined back pockets?  All I could find and ended up settling with was cargo pants with flaps on the butt for pockets.  The redeeming factor was a nifty coin pocket on the front right side.  And what's with draw strings?  Amid my shopping at the mall and Office Depot I realized that a lot of girls are really hot...until they turn around.  Anyways, so I now have new clothing to start the school year with.  I bought some new shoes, too.  They look almost exactly like the ones I had last year, and I bought them in the same store as the ones from last year, too.  Shoes are kind of like a legacy.  At least, for me they are, because I only buy shoes once a year.  I look down at my weathered and worn out shoes on my feet right now, and I can remember a lot about the places they've taken me.  I remember when I bought them.  I remember gym class.  I remember carving the turkey at Thanksgiving and spilling turkey juice on them (a direct result of brining), which actually seemed to clean them.  I remember skipping stones in a creek, secluded from the world for a week in North Carolina.  I remember homecoming week just after that.  I remember the music I listened to last fall.  I remember how the front of at least one of the shoes got ripped while I sang to a girl on my knees. ^_^;  I hope that these new shoes will bring more memories.  I hope I will meet new people in them.  They will take me through another vacation, another Halloween Horror Nights, another Christmas, another New Year, another spring break, and another summer.  I remember where I was when I bought them.  I wonder where I'll be in a year when I look back on them.  Probably buying shoes for the next year.  And that will be my last year of high school.  Strange, non?  This time last year seems so far gone, and this time next year so far ahead.  I guess I'm forced to stay in the here and now.  I guess that's the situation we are forced to perform in.  I wonder if I am ready, but then I have to realize that I'll never be any more ready than I am right now.

     The speed at which life moves is amazing.  Have you ever noticed?  It changes in the blink of an eye, and there's nothing you can do about it.  People's paths converge for a time.  But sooner or later, they separate.  That's what I've been thinking about tonight.  With the new school year just around the corner, I'm a little taken back by the fact that one of my teachers won't be returning.  For a few weeks now I've been trying to make it to the Maricamp Road Church of Christ to see Mrs. Thompson before she moves away.  I've mentioned her below in an entry entitled "A Light that Shines on Me".  Tonight, thanks to a much-appreciated ride from Jon, I went.  The theme was a going-away party for her son.  Most everyone I knew from school was there to wish him well.  That in itself was fun, but as time drew nearer to the end of the event, I knew I was going to have to say what I hate saying—goodbye.  So as I saw her walk back into the room where the festivities had taken place, I followed.  She said she hoped I wasn't there to say goodbye.  I hoped I wasn't, too.  But I had to do it.  I thanked her for all she had done.  She had taught me a lot through her classes, namely to type the words you are reading now.  It was more than that, though.  I can't help but think of homecoming week.  Before she was a teacher there, I wouldn't have even considered lending a hand in helping with the preparations for homecoming.  But she inspired me, and I believe she inspired the rest of my class, who, by the way, she sponsored with the planning of activities and fund-raisers.  If she would be around to plan the junior/senior banquet with us next year, I believe it would have been the one to remember, just like she wanted.  So here I am hugging her, and I know that this moment is something I am going to remember.  It feels like such an everyday moment.  It's the last time I'll see her in a long, long time, possibly forever, and there's nothing special about it.  But that's how it always goes.  The memories you hold onto the tightest form the most unexpectedly.  So that's it.  Something I thought was static is now gone.  Sure, I'll keep in touch via the miracle of the internet, but her presence every day at school will be sorely missed.  After I walked out of the building, I said goodbye to a friend who then told me that I would probably never see her again after that night.  Another friend had pretty much ignored me the whole time.  Why do things change like this?  This past school year was great.  Now everyone is leaving...or changing.  I know it happens, but why does it have to?  It's times like this that make me realize how little my effort means in deciding what happens.  I guess this is just something I'll have to deal with.  And I guess it's up to me to make things just as good this year.  I only hope that with enough effort things can seem normal without the people that made them so great.

Oh, and Mrs. T, we forgot about those box tops.

     That's me. ^_^  I have been doing a lot of house cleaning these past two days.  That's kind of sad, but it doesn't get done if I don't do it.  And besides, it annoys me heavily when I'm living among the garbage of my paternal and fraternal units.

     I was doing one of the many things I do with Microsoft Outlook today when the Office Assist somehow escaped from his lockdown within the confines of the 'Hide' prison cell.  Is it just me, or is it really condescending?  When you are typing a letter, it pops up to ask if you want help, as though you don't have a clue how to write a letter.  And you can't just choose "No."  Your options are something like, "Yes, please help me," or "No, I'll just go on typing the letter without any of your help."  If you hide it enough times, eventually it gets the picture and says that you have been hiding it a lot and wants to know if you would like it to leave you alone.  That much I appreciate about it.  It kind of makes you wonder how a cartoon paper clip can get the picture while some people never do.

     I've been downloading Elton John songs lately.  I really am starting to like his music.  I have liked Your Song ever since I saw Moulin Rouge, but last night I downloaded Daniel and Levon.  I think I like Levon a little better, but both are awesome.  Now I see why he and Billy Joel are on tour together.  I'm also a big fan of Billy Joel.

     Jon stayed up with me online last night.  It was nice to finally be able to talk to someone through the really dead hours, a time when I usually so lovingly write the emails that you all find waiting for you the next morning. ^_^  I have to be in bed early tonight, though, as tomorrow I am starting my school shopping.  This summer has really been short.  Normally I think that, but I look back at the memories I have from the very beginning of summer or the end of the school year and realize that it has been quite a while since school has been out.  This year, I can do that, but it still doesn't make me feel like I've had a long, full summer.  This is probably the last summer that will really be free for me.  Next summer I plan on getting a summer job that I can turn into a part time job during my senior year of school.  I'm not as saddened by that as I would have thought, but it still kind makes you wonder if you should have lived your summers more fully.

     Short update tonight, as you can see, but not that much has happened.  It's been technically only one day since I last updated, but I have slept twice and lived two days from my perspective since then.  That's what being nocturnal will do to you.  I'm glad I did it this summer, but when school forces me to give it up, I can't say I will miss it.  I need to be thinking about bed soon, so as they say in France Land, adieu.

-Chris

10:56 PM  7-23-02

     Today was a good day.  I spent last night at Carty's house and went to church with him this morning.  I never realized that that church was as close to my neck of the woods as it is.  I really enjoyed the service, too.  It was a lot like the casual services held at my church.  Except this was indoors.  I sat beside a girl who had gone to OCA three years ago.  I had never talked to her before, but I still recognized her.  So that was nice.

     I also went with Carty today to Downtown Disney in Orlando to meet an old online friend of his face-to-face.  That was really cool to watch since I know what these sort of things are like.  Strangely, though, I don't really have any strictly online friends.  But I still know what these things are like.  I saw a very vague picture of Will, the friend, last night.  Then today when we got to the pre-determined meeting place, I saw him and recognized him from the back.  Carty, on the other hand, was a lot more hesitant, even though he had known him for years.  That was sort of interesting.  Anyways, so we had dinner at The House of Blues.  I had always envisioned The House of Blues to be like a jazz club, but the decor is in fact more like a seedy bayou shack with lots of freakish things painted on the walls.  The calamari was awesome.  It had some kind of spicy, garlicky, something or other sauce on it.  I had some excellent jambalaya with chicken, shrimp, and andouille sausage (the stuff that sellout Emeril Lagasse is always raving about).  Carty split his salmon fillet and crab claws with me and I split my jambalaya with him because we wanted to eat both the dishes.  That was the best "try something different" meal I had had in a long time (I had only had jambalaya once, and I made it at home).  Will is an anime fan, though he's still not into the kind I am.  He's more the Eva, Gundam, Samurai X type, whereas I like the less mainstream and less action-oriented titles such as Love Hina, FLCL, Serial Experiments: Lain, FLCL, Noir, FLCL, Excel Saga, and my all-time favorite, FLCL.  This, coupled with his love of fine video games and interest in the entertainment industry, would have made Will only pretty cool, but the fact that he drives a white Pontiac Aztec made me bow to him in my unworthiness.  I really want a bright yellow Aztec, in case you didn't know.  Carty and I saw Will off on a bus, got lost in a never-ending loop of fence which we later scaled out of frustration, ate some ice cream and headed for home.

     School is starting really soon.  Three weeks tomorrow, to be exact.  Anyone want to go school shopping with me?  I am excited in a way, but yet not really ready.  I'm excited to greet this next chapter of life and experience all the big changes, but I really am enjoying not having to dread Sunday nights.  I think next year is going to be a lot of fun like last year, but I'll certainly miss some things.  Or rather, people—namely, Mrs. Thompson, Ashlee, and MiniMe (Chris Buchanan).  I'm also hoping that we'll get a lot of new people.  Male and female alike.  We could use fresh faces, and particularly some fresh female ones. ^_^  Of course, that's probably not going to happen.  It's the same thing every year.  I think there will be no new people, then someone hears a rumor that new people are flooding the registration, then I get to school and see that we've lost many people and gained only a few.  Oh well.  I can manage with who I've got.  Besides, the people I hang out with are all staying until they graduate.  Of course, that's what I thought about the people mentioned earlier, too.

     Speaking of past OCA students, I recently got in touch with Amanda Wynn, who I'll be contacting shortly after finishing up this update.  Amanda is awesome because...well, because she is.  She's my friend and I don't need another excuse because this is my website and I can say what I want, so you can take your sorry opinion and...  start your own website!  Anyways, I need to go to The Springz and see her some time and have her mix me a smoothie, because frankly I have yet to taste a really good smoothie.  And gee, while we're talking about other people, let me turn my attention to Jordan Tur who put up with my pestering like a real sport online last night.  I could go on and tell you about him, but I think he'd rather I referred you to his website.  Don't forget to sign his guest book.

     The real problem with these narrow tables is that I make even bigger-looking entries.  That was the point; I didn't think I could switch to writing in coherent paragraphs and still take up a decent amount of space.  Quite the opposite, actually.  In that light, I think I'll go now and watch the new one hour Good Eats special, Down and Out in Paradise.

-Chris

1:17 AM  7-22-02

     Shiver me' timbers, I'm beat.  I've been out all day.  I woke up early to get my learner's permit.  After sitting for a while in a doctor's office, I returned home to get the certificate I had from the drug and alcohol class I took a week ago tomorrow.  I had mistakenly picked up my Who's Who certificate.  Then I  took a trip to the bank to crack open the 'ole safety deposit box.  It's really neat to take a look at these.  If your family has one, next time they go open it up, I encourage you to go with.  It's neat to see what your parents valued enough to put in there.  It's also cool to see how much of a time capsule it is.  I saw footprints that my ink-covered feet made hours after I was born.  And it was so cool how my dad just kind of knew everything in there.  He had a sense of organized business about him.  He picked everything up and knew exactly what it was as though just seconds had passed since he put it in.

     So, after obtaining my required items from the box, I headed for the Ocala license bureau.  There was a fairly long wait there, but I didn't mind it as much as my family did (they all tagged along at the promise of lunch).  It was nice to get a taste of that side of Ocala.  Cooped up where I am, I don't get to see much the people that live in Ocala outside of the folks I see at school.  And since school's out now, I don't really get to see anyone.  I realize this makes little to no sense, but remember who's writing this.

     So here I sit in this place that smells horribly close to a public restroom, and I had to wait quite a while.  Finally, though, I got my number called and I went to the testing area.  The test was so easy.  I missed one question on the rules test, and none on the road signs test.  I don't see how people failed two and three times.  I thought I was going to do awful because I didn't study even all of one chapter.  I studied a little of one and a good portion of the main road rules chapter.  And I did fine.  So I now have a Florida state restricted driver license, with restriction "A" of course.  I had to close one eye for part of the eye test.  I wonder if that's cheating?  My license picture isn't bad either.  I'm just a little goofy-looking.

     In other news, I've begun playing Halo on a borrowed Xbox.  Well, okay, I played a little last night.  More shocking is that my dad, of all people, has logged like five hours on it!  He has never been interested in video games.  And he's playing co-op like crazy with my brother.  I hope to go in there and do a little playing myself.  Shameful as it is, I'm still on the Goldeneye007/Perfect Dark style of first person movement.  I'm not entirely happy with this new standard in first person shooter controls, but it is obviously superior once you get used to it.  I'll be happy when I can run forward and aim and fire to the side at the same time.  And that's running forward, not strafing and firing in front of me.

     Jenn, when are you going to update your website?  It's been the same since you left school!  And could you do an update email?  Just for me?  I really need to talk to Jenn about visiting this October.  I need to find out when we are going on vacation to make sure this is not the same time she's got off.  Just to clarify as it was recently called to my attention that there is some confusion, this is not Jen Hillier from OCA.  This is a different Jenn, who I always spell with two n's not only because it keeps Jen and Jenn separate, but because Jen Hillier spells her name with one n and the other Jenn spells hers with two.  ...Not that I dislike Jen, just that I wanted to clear it up.  Of course, I wouldn't have to if you looked at the links like good boys and girls.  Oh, and what do you think about the graphic up above?  Much thanks goes out to Jon once again for helping me.  He made that for me.  He also made one that says "Buy Two Get One Free" which I will probably put up there some time soon.  Though they are just instantly-generated graphics, that looks very good.  And you can't argue with results.  I've got a great idea for some color-coordinated icons, too.

     I want some food.  I have a bit of a burger left from lunch.  I got paid today, too.  I still had to pay for my license, which was $20.  Not too cheap.  Maybe I can get a reimbursement.  License, burger, money—today was a good day.  I hope to go see My Big Fat Greek Wedding tomorrow at the referral of my neighbor.  Plus, if I haven't driven it home enough yet, it *does* feature John Corbet known the world 'round for his unparalleled performance as Chris Stevens on the still-in-syndication television hit, Northern Exposure.  Sorry, but I don't get to talk about that show often, so I have to make it count when I do.

     Tired though I am, I think I'll go see if my dad's still playing Halo.  If not, I'll do a little playing myself.  I think he is, though.  I never thought I'd see the day when my dad is playing video games at 2:30 in the morning like I've come to love doing.  In an act of cruel and unmotivated violence, I leave you to your own affairs.

     Alright, so here's what happened.  After one of the many sleepless nights of this past summer, I went outside to walk around in the morning light for a little while.  Something about the transition from night to day, darkness to illumination, took me back for a moment.  The morning was just so...pretty.  This was the first time that I had actually seen beauty in nature.  Utilizing the best creative outlet I had, I wrote a short update called "Forever Dreaming" that was...not so normal.  It was almost poetic, even though it was just an unrhymed, unmetered paragraph.  I used big, pretty words, and...  And it was just so gay!!!  I'm sorry, but I have got to pull this.  No one has ever said anything bad about it, but I keep remembering it.  It's got to go.  I'm saving the table, the title, and the original signature and time stamp for the sake of continuity, but the content is gone.  I'm sorry to the few who gave me good feedback about this update, but I stand to keep that posted.  And Jon, I'll recycle the term "lofty zenith" just for you.

-Chris

1:36 PM  12-17-02

-Chris

7:20 AM  7-11-02

     Here I am, chocolate milk in tow, to fulfill my obligation after making that preview in my last entry, as well as say a few more things.  First off, why is no one talking to me today?  I've IMed two people now and they have both logged off on me without saying anything.  I need to just call people.  But I know how annoying it is to get a call when you don't want to take it.  Apparently, online, you can just ignore the person if you don't want to talk them.  Suddenly my chocolate milk tastes really disgusting.  I emailed an old friend today.  I had a dream about her, and I decided I should probably see how she was.  Anyhow, school.  Yeah, it's changing.  The principal is now the head administrator, which I personally like because I know things got a lot better when he became the principal.  Maybe some good changes will occur.  Then there's the computer lab, which is now in a much, much larger room.  I hope they bought more computers or that will look a little weird.  Maybe they wanted to have us all spread out after this last year.  Heh, I didn't think The Cube had *that* much of an impact.  And this brings me to the fairly disappointing change, and that is Mrs. Stephanie Thompson will no longer be teaching the computer classes at OCA.  This really disappoints me because she was probably my favorite teacher.  She ran an interesting class.  We were pretty free to do what we wanted, and I think Cartito and I (him moreso than me) did drive her within an inch of insanity at times.  But her class was a lot like an office job.  Sure, if you wanted to do nothing all day, you pretty much could.  But you had work to do.  And you can't do it at home.  You had deadlines to meet.  Failing to meet them meant pretty steep consequences, especially the last project at the end of the year.  It was kind of a duel with your own willpower.  You wanted to just forget the work and goof off the whole time, and some days you did, but as days wound down to the deadlines, you had to work for the sake of your grades.  I was looking forward to her advanced class next year.  We had two guys in our class that were in the advanced course, but due to scheduling difficulties I guess, had to be in there during our class.  I was thinking how ironic it would be if the next year Carty and I had to do that.  I think she would have made absolutely sure that didn't happen.  After this year, I think she would have made absolutely sure he and I were in different classes altogether.  It was a lot of fun, though, and I will miss her a lot.  Some time I'll have to tell the story of the cartoon duck on my computer screen.  I seriously doubt the next teacher will be as lenient and forgiving as good 'ole Mrs. Thompson.  

     I know I said I would talk about Legend of Mana, but I just am not up to it today.  I need to really sit down and think through that one before I try to tackle it.  So, next is Survivor 6.  If I had to guess I'd say that Survivor 5, known as Survivor: Thailand, is in the mid to late stages of the game.  The tribes have probably merged, but I'd say they have a few more Tribal Councils before the final four.  But they have already taken applications for Survivor 6.  I was surprised to see that they only took applications for nine days.  I guess this will be a lot like Survivor: Africa and Survivor: Marquesas in that Survivor: Thailand will air this fall and conclude early next year.  While Survivor: Thailand is being shown on TV, Survivor 6 will be played, rushed through post-production, and aired a month or so after Survivor: Thailand.  So, yeah...I thought you should know.  Fast-forward to approximately Survivor 17 when I am finally 21 years old and will be a cast-away on the show myself.  

     Next we have the Seinfeld finale.  I can't describe how cool this show is.  It would still be going now if they didn't just decide to end it while they were on top.  I remember when the finale first aired, I didn't watch the show.  But I saw a little of the finale.  The basic plot is that Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine get on a private jet supplied to them by NBC, who has decided to produce George and Jerry's TV show.  They are going to Paris, but the plane almost crashes, so they have to stop in Massachusetts.  While there, they witness a fat guy being carjacked and don't help him out (but instead make fun of him).  There's some obscure Massachusetts law in this town that says you have to help anyone if you can, and they get arrested for breaking it.  So the rest of the finale is them on trial with all these witnesses who are past characters from the show.  Banya, the Soup Nazi, J. Peterman, Mr. Pitt, Jerry's girlfriends, George's girlfriends, Putty, and the list goes on.  And it's like a recap of all the things they have done.  So, the judge, so disgusted with all these testimonies, gives them a year in jail because they are such cruel people.  As the camera pans out, the four of them are in jail, and Jerry starts commenting on the difference between the first and second button on George's shirt.  Then he starts elaborating.  And it ends there.  Point in case, I thought this was so stupid when I first saw it that they would end a show something like nine years running with the characters in jail.  But now that I watch the re-runs all the time, it's the perfect ending.  You can pretty much guess that their TV show deal fell through, they are all together still, doing what they always do.  And when they get out in a year, they will keep doing the same thing they have done in all the episodes, which is basically nothing.  I'm starting to wonder why I just summarized the Seinfeld finale, but then I'd have to wonder why I am writing this at all.  

     Good Eats is in it's sixth season now.  So far there have been two episodes—tuna and strawberries.  Tomorrow is artichokes.  In the coming weeks there will be two more about yogurt and soufflés.  A recent update to AltonBrown.com's Rants & Raves section listed the next five episodes of season six that will be filmed at the end of this month.  Needless to say, I can't wait.  October is going to be a busy month for me.  I have vacation, which I don't want to go on, Jenn (who is not Jen from school; due to recent confusion, I thought I'd clarify) may be visiting from Georgia, and Halloween Horror Nights will be at Islands of Adventure this year.  I can't miss that.  So right now I guess I need to email Jenn and find out what days she wants to visit and pray that it's not the same as my vacation.  Venas tol.

     "Days turned into weeks.  Weeks turned into months.  And then, one not so very special day, I got a new modem.  I went to my computer, and I installed it.  I checked my email, I read all the news, I talked to the people, but above all things, I updated my website."  Okay, I think that's as far as I'll take that since I'm probably the only person that knows what I'm trying to do.  Anyhow, you'll notice a similar reference in the entry below.  That one dates from 6-10-02, four days after I lost all use of my computer from the modem down.  That's why I haven't updated since 6-2.  I have in fact had internet access since July 4th when a friend of the family so graciously brought the modem I am using now.  As I mentioned somewhere below, though, the FTP program I was using was only a trial which expired during my absence.  So it took me from the fourth to now (the early hours of the eighth) to get a new trial program and figure out how to use it to post what you are reading now.  Anyways, I guess I should explain what exactly the large grouping of Run-Together Boredom Paragraphs below are.  When it was obvious that I would not be back online and able to post new material in more than just a few days, I decided to write an entry that I would post when I got back online.  Well, that one entry turned into two, which turned into three, which turned into about five or six.  So, starting from the top to the bottom, I have my account of my whole time offline, just as if I were never gone.  Lucky you!  The only difference is that I have them listed the opposite way that normal entries are.  That is, the most recent offline entry is at the bottom.  Read them how you like, but I posted them this way because I feel it paints a better picture of the changes I went through during the four weeks.  Actually, they aren't conveyed very well at all.  Anyways, I can't decide if I should mention some of the things that have been going on in the past few days or not.  I guess I will give a preview now and update later.  I was going to close with a parody of the last lines of Robinson Crusoe, but as I look it over now I can't do it without making a big deal out of it.  So, here goes:  changes all over school, one that's particularly disappointing.  Thoughts on Legend of Mana.  Survivor 6.  Seinfeld finale.  New episodes of Good Eats coming.  And best of all, Jenn may be visiting this October.  In the words of my mentor herself, "score"!

     "Days turned into weeks...  Weeks turned into months..."  Something is wrong with my modem.  I'm pretty sure it got killed by lightning late last week.  As such, I've not been online since then.  I've crawled in here after the eight-thousandth TV show today.  So far I've watched countless episodes of Seinfeld and The Simpsons as well as one each of That '70s Show, Grounded for Life, and King of the Hill, and most of an episode of Lexx and Crank Yankers.  Since I can't get online until this problem is fixed, I've been watching a LOT of TV.  More than I did during the school year.  I thought it was really bad how I wasted my evenings away watching all the different shows.  I guess now that I don't have to fit them all into my afternoons and evenings after school, I can begin to be bored with it.  It's actually tiring watching TV so much.  Yet when I get up and try to do something I am strangely pulled back to it.  I hate it...but it's so entertaining...  Seriously, though, all there is to do around my house besides watch a lot of TV is do a lot of housework.  I'm not opposed to the idea of this, but I just have trouble actually doing it.  The counters and floors have an unidentifiable film on them.  The carpets look like they have had an even dusting of lent applied to them.  And there's a broken kitchen chair in my family room.  Propped up on another chair.  Summer is definitely here.  I've fallen into a rut.  Of course I don't know why I seem to think that the modem would make me feel any better if it was fixed.  Then I would just be able to sit online as opposed to in front of the TV.  And I didn't like doing that all the time, either.  Maybe this will teach me how to use my time without the computer so that I won't stay on it so much when I get it back.  But probably not.  I have been playing through Final Fantasy VII a second time.  I must say, this game is so awesome.  I understand it a lot more now (most of which is thanks to MiniMe explaining it to me; thanks MiniMe!).  I still don't like the way Square RPGs of today are all designed.  Let me rephrase.  I still don't like the way the magic in Square RPGs of today are all designed.  I love Square's style.  Their worlds and characters are awesome, and they haven't lost one bit of their creativity since I first started playing them.  I hate the magic though.  I really don't like having to assign spells in the form of items to different characters.  It's so annoying.  They can't possibly think that's fun.  It's having to do paperwork.  You switch a character out for another one, so you have to unequip all their magic and re-equip it to the other character, usually having to work with the amount of magic that character is able to have.  You are about to fight a boss, so you have to spend time giving each character the right combinations of magic to best enable you to win.  And in most cases, you won't need them when you are done, so you have to change them out again.  I just miss the days of each character gaining certain spells as their level increases.  Secret of Mana was a little different, but still not annoying like this.  Anyways, FFVII is so cool.  Playing it again has secured the FFVII wall scroll above my bed it's place for many more months.  I wonder if I'll have much email when I get back online.  I know I will, but I wonder if it will be real emails that people have written to me.  I get a few good newsletters, and a lot of junk mail.  But I'll bet none of you losers emailed me.  Actually, I'm willing to wager that Jon has.  I've been meaning for quite some time to say something nice about him.  He's the only one that reads this website with regularity, as well as keeps me on my toes with obscure words and expressions while bringing many to the proverbial party himself.  And he at least endorses, if not halfway supports Good Eats.  And on top of that, he responded to my sad cry several updates ago about only having a trial version of an FTP program by sending me link to one that I will have had to have downloaded in order to have posted this.  Sorry, it's hard trying to talk like this is the future, which will be the present when I am able to post this.  Anyways, you're cool, Jon.  So, on the non-electronic side of my life, I was actually quite busy last week with Vacation Bible School.  Somehow I narrowly escaped the bloodthirsty pack of middle school girls I was assigned to.  It was all quite fun, though, and I got another fifteen-twenty hours of community service.  I wonder though...  I'm looking at my letter from last year, and it reads: "Twenty (25) hours of community service was donated to this church program."  I hope this doesn't cause problems.  I wonder how many I'll need to be safe for any scholarship I would want.  I went to Gator Joe's for the first time Sunday.  That was big disappointment.  I had heard that it was so cool.  So I got there, and it was.  It looks almost like a boathouse or something.  It's right out on the water.  If we weren't in such a drought, I think it would be actually on the water.  I remember skiing one time past a restaurant or bar on stilts in the water with people swimming underneath it.  That must have been it.  Anyways, it's very cool atmosphere.  It's like a Hooters, except the music is at a more relaxed volume.  Don't get me wrong, I love loud music.  This was just a lot quieter than most restaurants like this are.  The back door opened up onto a dock with tables for al fresco dining.  People came and went from the lake on jet skis and boats.  They just walked right in in their bathing suits.  I was really digging it.  The menu was impressive.  Also like a Hooters or Ker's Wing House, but I don't think I saw any wings.  I had a 'Flipper In A Bun', which was a Mahi fillet on a Keiser roll with lettuce and a slice of tomato.  Unfortunately it wasn't as good at it sounded.  The flavors just didn't work together.  The fillet itself was great.  But the roll was horribly bland.  The lettuce leaf and tomato slice were just filler.  It's was really like an air sandwich.  I can't help but want to give it a second chance, though.  They've got the atmosphere down perfectly.  Maybe I should go again and get something more mainstream, like a burger.  Still, making a good burger isn't hard to do.  I'd get frog legs if they disgust me the last time I tried them.  I just hope I can change my opinion of Gator Joe's next time.  Anyway, I think I'll just leave this off right here and come back to write anything that comes to mind for the duration of my internet disability.  I'll go read some more I'm Just Here for the Food.  For 6-10, 11:35 PM, I'm out.

     I've been doing nothing, but it feels kind of good.  I have been passing the time without the internet.  And despite the fact that I have not spoken to many of my friends in over a week, I'm doing very well.  I've pretty much overdosed on Final Fantasy VII.  It's so cool.  When you finally figure out what's really going on, and what really happened in the past...  It's just so awesome.  Carty called me seconds after I woke up today.  I was right.  Juan had emailed me.  As had Carty.  I didn't think he would have because I was under the impression he was out of town.  Anywho, he asked if I wanted to go to Islands of Adventure.  My transportation situation a bit shaky, I had to decline.  Plus I had relatives coming to visit.  Good thing, though, because when stood up out of bed after finishing my conversation with him, my foot ached really badly.  It's been that way all day.  It's a little swollen on the bottom, too.  I don't think I would have done well in a theme park all day.  I do wish I could have gone, though, if nothing else, to use this ticket I won during the school year.  Speaking of my foot, physically speaking, things are sucking for me lately.  The underside of my chin and jaw are covered in razor burn for the first time in almost three years that I've been shaving with my electric razor.  I'm getting zits that hardly pop, and when they do, they don't go away.  When I shaved yesterday, it was the first time in about a week, and I looked really bad.  Like when you see an actor that usually has a beard, and they shave it, their face looks fat.  And they look gay.  That's exactly what happened to me.  Like when John Caroll got voted off on Survivor: Marquesas.  He looked so different.  Fatter, and gayer.  Except he is gay.  My dad tells me we should look into getting an external modem to replace our broken one.  I hope that will provide one that performs better than the last ones I've had.  It's got to be something with my house.  I've had three different 56k modems on two different computers, and none of them worked as well as they should.  This frightens me because I hope that, when broadband becomes available on my side of the universe, it is not also slow and unreliable on my computer.  I want a charcoal grill.  I want a Weber 22 1/2" One Touch Gold in some color other than black, to be specific.  Gas grills have always been the standard at my house.  Strangely, electric stoves have, too.  I need to look into this, because only now do I see how conspiracy-like this is.  Anyhow, I say this because my gas grill is broken to the point of the window falling out and the flames only emitting from the center in a column of fire.  Windows on grills are so stupid.  Good Eats season six starts in four days.  The first episode is about tuna.  I can wait not.  I won't even need a charcoal grill to grill tuna, either.  I looked ahead on my satellite guide and it says that it will be grilled over a chimney starter.  I already know a thing or two about this because it was mentioned in I'm Just Here for the Food.  I want to see some movies, such as Life or Something Like It and My Big Fat Greek Wedding.  The latter I don't know a thing about, other than it features John Corbet, known far and wide for his remarkable performance as Chris Stevens, the ex-con DJ/priest (ordained though the mail by Rolling Stone, no less), on the greatest live-action show ever created, Northern Exposure.  I have no real plans for this weekend.  I think I will be erecting a large canopy for to park cars under for the better part of tomorrow.  And of course celebrating Father's Day.  I've really been wanting to see Moulin Rouge again lately.  I should just buy it, though.  But if I'm going to do that, I might as well buy the soundtrack and everything, too, from Amazon like I've been meaning to do.  And if I'm going to spend about $60 for all that, I might as well spend $100 and get their Super Saver shipping, which means no shipping charges at all.  Cool, non?  I guess I've said all that's on my mind, so I'll go read I'm Just Here for the Food a little more.  No, I probably won't.  I didn't Monday, and I really don't want to go read right now, even if it is Good Eats in book form.  Aw, whatever.  Goodnight.  

     I'm so thankful I'm not a Yankee.  If I was, there is no way I would eating a nice plate of golden brown fried green tomatoes.  Cracker-crumb breaded, no less.  It's been raining all day.  At least it has been since 10:00 AM, when I woke up and went back to sleep until 1:00.  Yesterday was nice.  Me and some of my relatives went to my cousin's house and then to lunch at Cracker Barrel.  Another reason I am thankful that I'm Southern.  I still haven't regained access to the internet yet.  FFVII is drawing to a close, but I am managing to do all the things I didn't the first time through.  "We should be lovers.  We can't do that."  I'm listening to Moulin Rouge music right now.  Have I expressed my love for this movie lately?  That tomato stayed in the pan a little too long.  I'm going to try to make "sun-dried" tomatoes tonight.  I've been meaning to do that for a few days now.  I used to blame not getting things done on the computer, but since I only use it now to write this and use the various features of Microsoft Outlook, I suppose it really is just laziness.  Speaking of Outlook, I have been doing a lot with that lately.  I use the Notes section to post reminders on my computer screen in Post It note-shaped and -colored windows, the Contacts section to put everyone's email addresses and, later (when I can get online to ask everyone), their phone numbers, and of course the Calendar section to schedule and remind me of holidays, things I'll be doing (ha), and important TV shows.  I had a dream last night about next school year.  Strangely, though, it took place at night on the street I used to live on in Orlando.  At first I was walking all around being angry because no hot new girls had come.  Then I was angry because no cool new people had come.  I think Cartito and Juanny were there in the very beginning, but they disappeared very soon.  There was also a guest appearance from Ashlee, who apparently had come crawling back.  There were a bunch of dorky new guys who knew each other already.  They were all making stupid jokes and trying to be cool over by my old neighbor's house.  I went over there and they were trying to be cool introducing themselves to me.  One guy's nickname was "Guns", I think.  And that's how they were introducing themselves, with their nicknames.  Anyhow, I was pretty miffed that the only new people were idiots, but I hung around them for a while.  And then they started to be a little bit cool.  I decided that either they would get cool over time, or I would just stop noticing that they were stupid, and things would be great.  I decided that that must have happened last year, too, and it was going to happen this year.  That was just the way things worked.  And maybe that's what I really wanted all along.  That said, I'll be very angry if the only new people next year are the real-life equivalent of "Guns" and his fellow weirdos.  I got a very good report card, and as such, my dad is offering to buy me something/take me somewhere.  I think I'll opt for the more materialistic gift, in the form of several video games.  Other possibilities are a Wusthof Classic 8'' cook's knife, a Weber kettle grill, or a small nonstick All-Clad fry pan.  All would be nice choices, but I could really use some video games right now.  I think I'll get Metal Gear Solid 2 for PS2 and Final Fantasy Chronicles for PS1.  I would get two PS2 games, but I can't really think of what else I might want.  Devil May Cry is tempting, but I want to rent that one first to make sure I can get past the spider.  I don't want to be the third victim of that travesty.  And finally, if I were titling each of these offline entries, this one would be called "Fear Fall".

     Here I am, again, still with no internet access.  How long has it been?  How many weeks?  My dad brought home a nice new cordless keyboard and cordless optical mouse.  It's cool and all, but I don't see how he could have gone to all the trouble of buying this without thinking it would be a better decision to buy a modem instead.  We already had a cordless keyboard and cordless non-optical mouse.  Oh well.  I have more important things to worry about now.  Like my cat.  I'm hearing footsteps above my head right now because he is stuck between the ceiling and the second story floor.  He is scared of everyone, and he squeezed into a whole in the floor when a guy came to install cabinets in one of our under-construction rooms.  Now he can't get back out.  I can hear him meowing, and I can get my arm into the hole, but I can't seem to get a good enough hold on him.  I got him by the back of the neck earlier, but as I was trying to squeeze his head out of the tiny hole, I lost grip.  Now he hasn't come close enough to get him by the neck again.  I am able to pet him a little more now.  That is, when he will come to me.  He gets within feet of the hole and meows and meows, then walks off.  It's quite annoying.  Plus I don't really want him to die in there.  Anyhow, I'm about to go try again.  In other news, not much is going on.  You would think I would have beaten FFVII by now, but I haven't.  I just stopped playing it when I heard that my copy of Legend of Mana got ordered.  Not that I ditched it for Legend of Mana, that's just when I stopped playing it.  I need to finish that some time soon.  Ah, Good Eats was marvelous.  It just made me realize even more that I need a good fish monger.  The problem, of course, being that Belleview has none to offer and my parents won't take me to Ocala to shop at the few there.  Mayhaps when school starts I'll be able to, since I would already be in the area and all.  Still, it sucks.  In more urban areas, like where I used to live, you get accustomed to never having to drive more than five minutes to get necessary items like food.  Well, when you live in a rural area like where I do now, most people come to expect driving twenty-five minutes or so.  Yet, not my family.  So, as it seems, I won't be grilling tuna on a chimney starter any time soon.  And I'm not getting fish from Publix.  They are a crappy store, albeit the best one around. (Ask me sometime about my family's ties with Mr. Jenkins, the man who invented the Publix.) I wish we would get a Safeway or one of the many Safeway subsidiaries in town.  Anywhodaisy, I want my Survivor: Marquesas buff I ordered two weeks ago to get here.  And I want Legend of Mana to get here.  And I want those two video games I mentioned.  Am I materialistic, or just bored?  I haven't really been all that bored now that I've gone through internet detoxification.  I hope when I get back online I won't spend so much time there.  Speaking of boredom, I never mentioned this, but exactly what I told myself would happen did happen.  I always follow a pattern when summer starts.  First I'm all happy that it's summer, but I'm bored.  Then I start realizing that summer has just started, but it will be over very soon.  That was thanks to my Outlook calendar this year, since I can in an organized grid just few days of summer I have to enjoy.  Anyhow, then I start to counter the boredom by stretching my actions out, so to speak.  During the school year, I would come home, check IGNcube, IGNPS2, the Good Eats Fan Page Message Board, and maybe a few online stores, all while talking to people, for an hour.  Then I'd go walk the dog for thirty minutes, maybe get online a little more, then go watch as much TV as I could before I had to go to bed.  If I ever sat there for ten minutes not necessarily doing anything, it would be torture.  And it was for the first few weeks of summer.  But now I can do basically nothing for extended periods of time and be entertained by it.  Just yesterday I probably spent ten minutes twirling an arrow through my fingers.  And then soon I'll stop worrying altogether about the length of summer until August comes.  Well, anyhow, it's been fun, but I really need to get some sleep so I can wake up and try to get the cat out again in the morning.  Fare thee well.

     Much hello-ness tossed lazily in your general direction.  I am happy to announce that boredom seems to be a thing of the past for me.  At least, the really bad kind where you sit around doing nothing.  That's not to say the things I pass the time with aren't boring, but at least I'm making use of the time with shameful things like...housework.  I have been cooking dinner every night for the past week, and plan to continue cooking in this fashion for at least another week.  And today I actually sat down with I'm Just Here for the Food and read.  I finished the chapter on braising, and I'm now on brining.  That means I've read all about grilling, searing, frying (pan and immersion, mind you), sautéing, stewing, braising, boiling, simmering, broiling, and poaching.  Wow.  I guess I pretty much have all the methods in the book down now, unless you count microwave cooking, the last chapter.  I just have sauces, eggs, brining, and microwave cooking left to read.  That is such a cool book, but it really stumps me sometimes.  It's written just like the dialogue on Good Eats, and sometimes the intricacies of Alton Brown's writing style get a little tricky to digest.  It's still a great book, and I can't wait for the second part, I'm Just Here for More Food: Wet Works, dealing with baking and other more advanced forms of the application of heat to, how shall I say, more man-made ingredients.  That doesn't sound entirely right, but I've tried to explain the whole "natural ingredients only" premise of the book before, and it never comes out right either.  Moving on, I'm starting to get hooked on Letterman again like I did last summer.  His show is so awesome.  Everyone talks about Conan O'Brien like he's God's gift to man, but these are the same people who love Chick-fil-a and Chile's.  I know I just made a lot enemies, but I'm sorry, Chick-fil-a is nothing special.  Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich and Burger King's chicken club peck the pants off of Chick-fil-a's food.  And what's with their waffle fries?  They're dry.  You don't get that many of them.  They've just plain not good.  All the chicken I've ever had there looks like half the breading fell off in the fryer.  Not to mention the meager taste.  Anyhow, I think I've done enough damage already, so I'll just say Chile's is overrated.  Not that it's bad, just overrated.  So, now that I've attacked three icons popular with just about everyone I know, let's get back to Letterman.  He's currently on a campaign to launch sports balls off the roof of the studio and break windows on the surrounding buildings.  The other night he did a segment on Rupert fishing in New Jersey.  And you have to love "Is This Something?".  I think that was what it was called.  His reoccurring jokes really win him points, too.  Speaking of that, Seinfeld has more continuity than I would have ever imagined.  Having been on a strict diet of two episodes a day, I am catching all the references to earlier scenarios, namely the urban sombrero.  I watched one episode for the second time that I remembered as not being very funny and, having seen the preceding episodes, found it hilarious this time around.  It also dawned on me that Seinfeld is full of product placement.  I've seen Tootsie Pops, Aquafina water, Junior Mints, and Waffle Crisp cereal.  I think product placement is pretty cool, actually.  It's better than commercials.  Survivor is the king of product placement.  Let's see, just off the top of my head I can think of Mountain Dew, Doritos, Pontiac, Sierra Mist, Chevy, Saturn, Target, Visa, Snickers, and of course, Reebok.  I caught one of the greatest episodes of Space Ghost: Coast to Coast this week: "Chambraigne".  I think the only one I've ever seen that tops "Chambraigne" is "Girl Hair".  I got Legend of Mana on 6-22.  Normally I wouldn't specify the exact date, but if you look at the previous entry, I expressed my desire to receive it in the early hours of that very same day.  So, let me just say, I want my Survivor: Marquesas Soliantu buff to get here.  Since when do all PC games come in bite-sized packages?  I was in Wal-Mart tonight to see if the Survivor: Africa DVD was out yet (not like I could get online and check or anything), and I wandered over to the PC games.  EVERY game there was in a box not much bigger than a DVD case.  I first saw one a few days ago when my brother brought home Neverwinter Nights.  Now it seems every single game is being packaged in one of these boxes.  Not just new games, or crazy Wal-Mart games.  Star Craft, Baldur's Gate, Half-Life Platinum Edition, Dark Age of Camelot, Icewind Dale, EverQuest, Max Payne, Stonehold, Ultima Online: Lord Blackthorne's Revenge (that's another story), and Red Faction are just a few of the games I saw in these tiny little packages.  The last time I looked at PC games, granted that was probably a few months ago, all these same games were in normal PC game-sized boxes.  Well, I just felt like sharing that.  Actually, I think that's about all I have to say.  Maybe I'll get some good stuff done this weekend.  The grass is about knee-high in the yard, and my current project is to get this canopy thing up to park cars under since my house is sans-garage.  It's so big though that I'm forced to position it to where it is in front of part of the house.  It's going to look really dumb, but, oh well.  Maybe it will make it look like the hedge in front of my house actually continues the whole length.  Hopefully I won't have to make another one of these nonsensical offline entries.  I wonder how many people know just what happened to me.  I'd assume Juan since Carty said he and Juan were both wondering where I was.  I wonder about the others, though, Katherine and Jenn and Channing and—Oh, I just remembered something.  I smarted off quite profusely at Channing and logged off on her right before I lost my modem.  Heh heh heh...  That's a sticky wicket.

1:43 AM  6-29-02

     I have returned.  The beach was great.  Cartalion and I had a fine time chick-spotting and roaming around the ominous wharf.  Alright, so the attraction was supposed to have this brand new community-type place called the Baytowne Wharf with shops and restaurants aplenty.  So after swimming in the lovely blue waters of the beach, we decided one evening to check out this wharf.  Calling a tram to take us there, as was customary for most of our excursions, we were soon traveling at a speedy 27 miles per hour past golf courses and condos.  I'd say it was about eight or nine minutes of tram riding, but we finally arrived at the Wharf.  Departing, we were immediately faced with burly construction workers going about their business on a decidedly incomplete set of buildings.  Not quick to judge, we assumed it was an incomplete section of the Wharf.  We shuffled into the parking garage and spotted a large exit at the other end of rows of parking spaces.  That was surely where our dreams would be fulfilled.  Not so, it seemed, as we looked out into the large room with cement-block walls.  Spying a door at one end, Carty trotted off with me not far behind.  It was a dead end inside, with nothing more than a large room used for the storage of tables.  We entered the parking garage again and found our way to a door which led to a large set of stairs, much like what you would see in a hospital or hotel.  The whole thing got more and more Matrix-like as it went on.  I expected to see a black cat walk through a hallway twice.  Near the foot of the stairs was a door.  We turned the handle and flung open the door to be faced with a perfect, pristine, air-conditioned, carpeted, multi-colored hotel hallway.  The walls housed impressive, modern molding.  The doors were a dark stain, each neatly numbered.  The whole thing was so perfect.  It was like we had stepped through some sort of warp—time, dimensional, take your pick.  It was all quite scary.  We heard a TV through one door.  The stairs outside led us up to a second hallway.  And then to a third.  I don't know how many levels we went through.  I believe it was somewhere around five.  On one level, we made our way to some elevators.  Carty went out and pressed the button.  As I stepped out into the elevator lobby, I saw the knob of a door turning.  Fortunately, the lady that emerged from within looked at us and walked on.  We explored the grand Wharf a bit further, almost being spotted once or twice.  Tricky business.  But the real problem arose when we realized that there was no way to call the tram back.  So we walked.  And we walked.  We never did come across a tram stop with a phone.  Or a tram stop at all, for that matter.  We walked all the way back, across a golf course, and eventually to the beach.  And there we found no shops or suitable restaurants.  I believe it was somewhere near three miles that we ended up walking.  I suppose that's what we get for thinking we were big enough to conquer the mighty Wharf.  In other news, my hair is now fully equipped to handle all short and/or spiky hair styles.  I said I wasn't going to do it, but I did.  So there.  I got some nice new clothes.  I found those soccer jersey-type shirts that I have been wanting for so long.  Actually, the receipt identified mine as a baseball jersey.  I found them at Gap.  They are short-sleeved, just like I had been looking for.  I bought a gray with blue sleeves model.  I am tempted to go back and get some of the many other styles.  I expected there to be a huge backlog of video game news when I got back, but I can hardly find any.  I would talk about something other than my trip, but since nothing else has happened between now and the last time I posted, save for a brief trip to the store and a few conversations, I fear that is all I have to talk about.  I came home to find the house in a wreck, so maybe I'll go do something about that now.  Or maybe I'll just go eat.  Hey, I posted this time without using any links.

     A funny thing happened to me this rainy Memorial Day.  I was cleaning up one of the many trash piles generated by my family units.  I was scouring the countertops in the kitchen for trash amid the permanent junk piles when I came across the refuse of Chinese takeout from a few nights ago.  I meddled through the torn paper bag and greasy squares of cardboard to an underlying deposit of individual packets of soy sauce, Chinese mustard, and the mysterious "orange goo"*.  Nestled among this sad sight, fairly ordinary as these types of cleanup operations go, were not one, but two fortune cookies.  Being unable to resist these mildly sweet little devils, I cracked open the first and shoved the jagged pieces into my mouth.  While indulging, I unfolded the evacuated slip of paper and read the words, "You will conquer even the hardest problems at their beginning."  To this I gave a slight chuckle, knowing it was mostly crap.  I now turned my attention to the second installment of the wondrous cookie delight.  Cracking it open and shoving the pieces into my mouth, my eyes fell on the narrow text below.  Just an ominous rumble of thunder sounded from the moderate rain outside, I read the words: "The weather is wonderful."  They were mocking me.  First they pay me a compliment and then basically say, "Not!"  It was a humbling moment indeed.  Now that that is taken care of, I am pleased to announce that I will be leaving for the beach tomorrow (today, really) and getting back Sunday.  Email me while I'm gone.  You know how fun it is to get email.  Why, I'll even email you back.  Movies, movies, I'm seeing so many movies.  On video (DVD actually) and in the theatre.  As of late I've seen Spiderman, The New Guy, Highlander Endgame, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, and Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones.  I would like to point out that I am just anal enough that I went back and un-italicized every comma and space following each of those titles.  Spiderman and The New Guy I have already commented on in past entries.  Highlander was cool, Terminator was awesome, and Star Wars was very nice.  I am quite happy that Yoda finally fought.  And I am happy that it took four movies to finally see him fight.  You are always told that he is a great Jedi master.  But all you ever see is him closing his eyes and telling what he's seen in a clouded, oddly-arranged string of words.  I liked it though.  He wouldn't have even fought, either, if his opponent hadn't made him.  As cool as it was to see him fight, I had to try very hard not to laugh while it was happening.  At first I started smiling because it was so cool.  Then I started laughing when he began to spin...like a top...  Don't get me wrong, it was very cool.  I really like the way the Jedi jump incredible lengths and heights.  It's very much like anime, but in a good way.  And seeing Yoda use jumping so much in his fighting style was really great.  Also...why did the little kids have lightsabers?  It is my understanding from my more fanatic days of Star Wars fandom that Jedi must construct their own lightsaber towards the end of their training.  Not to say that they can't use one before that, but it still seems like the children would be trained more in the mind at that age.  Oh man...Yoda fighting.  So cool.  But I still laugh thinking about it.  Terminator 2 was very good.  I had seen Terminator a few months ago, and despite rather sorry special effects, it was also very good.  I thought I had a pretty good grip on what it was all about after riding T2: 3D at Universal Studios, and in the broad sense I did.  Still, there are a lot little things that you just don't experience unless you see the movies.  I think this is a real Nintendo renaissance going on.  Metroid, Zelda, Star Fox, and Mario.  All coming out in fairly close succession.  My only fear is, what are they going to do after Zelda comes out in early 2003?  Heh, I'll tell you what they're going to do.  They're going to delay it until November 2003.  But after this, what's next?  It has taken them this long to make these games.  They could have a sequel for each out in time for a big surge of games right at the end of the GameCube's reign.  And that's just if they focused on making sequels with recycled engines.  I love Northern Exposure.  It's so cool.  I'll have to write more about my love for this show in the future.  I need to find time to watch it is what I need to do.  Actually, what I need to do is go to bed.  I woke up at 4:40 AM this morning.  I had gone to sleep at 4:something PM yesterday.  I scarffed down some Sony's takeout in the refrigerator, got online, and walked outside.  It was 5:something by now.  For those not as in tune with the cycle of the moon as I am, last night was a full moon.  I think.  It looked full.  So, even though the moon was pretty well setting, the ground still had moonlight pouring onto it, giving it a rich, white fullness.  And to the east, the sky above the trees was turning a lighter but still darkened blue.  I learned to look for this last summer.  This morning, though, the moonlight, and the first blue glow of the sun turned the mostly-remaining night sky into something awesome.  It was a dark, dark blue.  They don't call it Midnight Blue for nothing.  The stars were still clearly visible.  You could see the dark-light blue over the eastern treetops, and above as well as to the west was dark blue night.  It made something that was like...well, to tell you the truth, it made me miss my Asheron's Call days.  It was so much like the early morning on AC.  It's pretty sad when nature makes you want to play a video game.  Oh well.  Hopefully I will make it to the AC2 beta at the end of the summer.  And there's just one more order of business...  I have to say, Channing is awesome.  I think she thinks I'm cool, so I might as well return the favor.  One of the only ones I know who solely supports Nintendo and definitely the only one who likes Lifehouse and the Andy Dick Show.  "I guess you're the only one who's standing when everything else goes down."  I probably screwed that up.  Aw, whatever.  Screw this.  I'm going to bed.  I'll see you all (heh, you all...no one reads this) in five days!