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86 Things I Hate

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This is a list of everything I hate, be it material or otherwise.  If you see something on here that you do, don't worry.  I hate the action, not you...unless many of the things you do appear on the list.  In that case, there's a good chance that I do in fact hate you. 

Things I Hate

1.  Perpetually lazy people.

2.  Little dogs that bark a lot.

3.  Peacocks.

4.  Cheap pens.

5.  People who won't drink anything but soda.

6.  People whose favorite color is black.

7.  People who say all reality TV is fake.

8.  People who can't appreciate a slow song.

9.  The offices of mechanics' shops.

10. People who can't discern sincerity from sarcasm.

11. The above, yet they make sarcastic jokes themselves.

12. People who won't try new foods (with some exceptions). 

13. People who think it is disgusting to eat a steak less than well-done.

14. People who call less than well-done steaks "raw".

15. People who say steaks that are less than well-done have blood in them.

16. People who say the pizza we eat in America is not Italian.

19. People who think Survivor is just about arguing and eating weird things.

20. People who say they have weird taste in music because they listen to both rock and rap.

21. People who don't like ethnic foods.

22. People who complain that Asian food has too much soy sauce.

23. People who try to pass off a cheap, inferior product as being as good as a higher-quality one.  And I'm not being snobby here.  We're talking people who will use a spoon for a garden spade and say it's just as good.  And yes, I've witnessed that before.

24. People who call you a hypocrite when you take a stand for the first time.

25. People who steal your signature lines.

26. People who think Emeril Live/Essence of Emeril is the best cooking show.

27. Excessive farting.

28. Proud display of said farting.

29. People who chew on borrowed pens.

30. When batteries run out.

31. The inability to skip the FBI warning and company logos on a DVD.

32. The 6-8 week shipping period from mail-order catalogues.

33. Nosy people.

34. Failure to capitalize and punctuate sufficiently.

35. Incoherent emails, instant messages, ICQ messages, etc. 

36. People who open the oven door instead of turning on the light.

37. People who put ketchup in the refrigerator.

38. People who hate cats.

39. Arrogance.

40. Non-power car windows and locks.

41. People who won't drink soda.

42. Hot girls who smoke.

43. Excessive cursing.

44. People who say the Japanese make inferior electronics.

45. That guy that works at the tuxedo place in Ocala.

46. People who say it's not healthy to eat non-breakfast foods for breakfast.

47. Canned vegetables.

48. The term "cash money".

49. People who refer to hamburgers as "sandwiches".

50. People who can't control their anger and/or get angry easily.

51. Ketchup being spelled "catsup".

52. People who refer to unchilled soda as "hot".

53. People who place those ingenious inverted-style ketchup, mustard, or mayonnaise squeeze bottles right-side-up, completely defeating the purpose of an inverted bottle.

54.  You how sometimes when you cough, you'll hack up a little piece of something, and it gets caught in your throat, but then you cough it into your mouth, and you take it out, and it's not gross or anything, but it felt gross when it was in your throat, and so you throw it away?  That.

55.  People who refer to the "garbage disposal" in their sink as a "garbage dispose-all".

56.  People who read on the toilet.

57.  People who pronounce "wash" as "warsh".

58. People who take a crappy old boat of a car and "trick it out".

59. You.

60. Old people who refuse to eat ethnic foods, and I'm talking good stuff here like Chinese food, pizza, or tacos.

61. People who leave the movie theater right as the movie is ending, but before the credits start rolling.  You know the ones.

62. People who say "chunk" instead of "chuck" in reference to throwing something.  Don't believe me?  Look it up...moron.

63. People who say "conversate" is a word.

64. People who add the word "eve" to holidays other than Christmas and New Years in reference to the night before them, i.e., "We're leaving town on Fourth of July Eve."

65. That stupid Nazi airlock crap that you have to go through at Campus USA credit union before you can go inside.

66. People with a bloated sense of pride.

67. People with no pride at all.

68. People who answer their phone when it rings in the middle of class, a library, or another quiet setting.

69. People who immediately turn left when a traffic light turns green, disregarding the right of way of the car stopped in the oncoming lane.

70. People who don't pay attention to the order of cars at stop signs and just go when they think they've waited long enough.

71. People who pronounce "ketchup" like "catch up".

72. People who park ridiculously crooked and don't bother to straighten out.

73. People who cover the pad as they enter their PIN numbers at a store, as though the cashier is going to memorize it and the sixteen digit number off the card (which they didn't even touch), then find somewhere they can actually put those two together to accomplish some kind of fraud. 

74. Over-protectiveness about privacy, including but not limited to that seen in number 73.

75. People who get angry when I ask for their ID during a credit card purchase.

76. Swiss cheese.

77. People in the Christian world who think it is wrong to work at your job on Sundays, yet don't think it's wrong to perform any non-vocational form of work, which also violates the concept of the Sabbath.

78. Those obnoxiously-long, country blues-sounding Blue Bell ice cream radio commercials.

79.  People who say their favorite food is an ethnicity rather than a dish—"Chinese", "Italian", etc.

80.  People who aren't aware that AOL isn't the only way to access the internet.

81. People who automatically adopt the opinions of others as their own, just because they are that person's.

82. Adults who rely completely on their parents.

83. Bananas with any brown spots whatsoever.

84. People who see a missed call and a new voicemail on their cell phone, wait for a prolonged period of time (sometimes days), and then call back and ask what you called for, because in all the time it took them to call you back, they didn't even listen to the voicemail you left them!  JON JACKSON, I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU.

85. People who think the above is stylish or cool.

86. Burnt popcorn.